I really want to suck someone off but I'm too scared to meet up with anyone. I'm 5'5", 120lbs, and 19...

country?

God knows. And He’s the most important.

I'm not physically or romantically interested in men either but I have to admit the sex took some getting used to before it started to be fun and feel good. Had to let go of my own shame of wanting to try stuff out, had to get comfortable with the idea, all that. Dick in the ass feels incredible and I don't mind admitting that now but it did take several attempts to get to that point.

Then why didn’t you find a girl that was also into anal play?

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Seriously this guy knows what's up.
People are gross, don't suck a gross dick.
It might not be laying on a lap all day but it'll be something you want at least.
>For the record laying on someones lap all day and being spoiled feels great

I did, and it's different.

Getting pegged doesn't feel the same or have the same impact. The girl is doing it for your benefit, dildos don't feel like real dicks, girls are weaker and more timid than guys. A whole bunch of reasons, including some mental ones. Sex with a real dick is vastly more enjoyable.

I'm happy to keep the camps separate. I date women and I love them and I enjoy regular sex with them. Sometimes in between girls I will choke on the odd dick.

My first time I thought was fine, but nothing I'd probably ever do again. And then like two weeks later I needed dick again.

I think the shame of it all sorta played into it for me. You're in weird positions, you're in a submissive and vulnerable position which most guys spending their lives avoiding anything vulnerable. And you go from that shame and awkwardness to a guy taking advantage of it and loving it. It's amazing on a mental level. I like it physically too, but dildos just don't compare.

I'm with a long term girlfriend now and I miss fooling around with guys so much. She knows I had a bi past but she doesn't really know the full extent to it.

If I had a big enough dick I'd nail the hell out of you.

Gay sex especially as a bottom is a bit like learning to enjoy beer when you're a kid taking secret sips.

It's an acquired taste, you kind of need to understand what it is about beer that tastes good before you can start to enjoy it. Like you said, being vulnerable and submissive and enjoying it are things that most guys can't really get into and aren't willing to try. I had to learn to understand just what it was about submitting that was enjoyable before I could start to actually like it.