So I did mushrooms about 4 months ago. After that I feel like everything is a play. Like I feel like I'm schizophrenic. To this day I have residual feelings of Truman syndrome. It's not every day but I still feel it whenever I get drunk or in awkward situations. Seeing conspiracy theories or posts when I'm around people triggers my brain to go in to full panic mode and I feel like I'm literally autistic. Anyone else feel like this?
Pic unrelated.
Don't break the fourth wall, you clever child you
I'm too afraid to dude.
This. They don't like that one bit.
Man. I'm trying not to disassociate. Pls stop
On the real, you're realizing that life is LITERALLY, like you say, a play. Or a dance, or theatre, etc. Your ego is what prevents you from seeing that you are in fact an actor, and it fools you into thinking that this is something that needs to be taking seriously, but it's not.
at least you perceive it as a play and not a game
I recently did shrooms, had a big realization that my life is going to be shitty and I'm gonna fuck myself over if I continue to just do drugs and hang out with my friends. Decided to stop everything except a little bit of weed, came home and cleaned my room and did laundry for the first time in about 7 weeks, and as soon as the Coronavirus blows over I'm going to a trade school. Shrooms aren't a drug for fun, they're something you take for introspection, experiences and other stuff like that. Also they are just absolutely disgusting, eating them sucks and I feel like that's why most people have a shitty time for the first part of their trip.
100 percent this.
Shrooms and LSD would thrust me out of my funk and into a more positive and go-get-em' state of mind that stays with you for months.
On the quantum level, there is true randomness, therefore life can't be predetermined.
No, like I had that feeling, but where were shockwaves of, "is this real life". And I had one about 20 minutes ago. I had a game plan set. I even quit drinking and smoking but I slowly went back it it all. I feel like I need to do them again, but alone this time. I had a pretty big starter dose when a friend of mine and I were both drunk. It felt fucking amazing for the first few hours but after we went inside I literally felt like an insane asylum patient. He was giving me a blanket and some zzzquil to calm me the fuck down and I thought in my head that I was a mental patient being handed a blanket and a Dixie cups full of pills. I realize that it's not like that now but residuals still hit me.
yeah man, shrooms game me the "doomsday" anxiety about 2 years ago, my brain connected all the dots and concluded things I can only begin to explain on this thread.
Government takeover and ayy ayy's were the endgame in "this" dimention. seeing all this shit happen now just gives me confidence that there is a greater power and grand scheme at play.
when I started to lose grip with reality, I started thinking how we were all part of the same consciousness and no matter what happens, we, as individuals, are powerless to the river that we swim.
so relax. take a deep breath OP. let the river take you to where we're going. there's no use in fighting the current.
You have seen that which cannot be unseen
This isn't going away and will increase in severity by the way. Find sense in it or go insane.
You need to redose ASAP. You did not have a full enough ego death and now you are aware of your ego. The ego is trying to portray itself to you as the most important thing but it is occluding your ability to activate your pineal gland. You are on the verge of a break through but you need to take these next scary steps. Also make sure to have a trip sitter and just know that we are not actors, this is the real world and the battle for control of your own mind is currently underway. I hope you join us on the other side, it is very freeing.
It's not really a positive state of mind, it's more of a "I have to get a job and work hard, even though I'm going to hate it and may have to stop smoking"
But do I want to? I legitimately want to be a normie. Like fuck dude. I want to live in peace and just die like everyone else. I can't handle the "matrix pill" choice. What is there on the other side that's so appealing that doesn't make me look like a rambling homeless man on the street talking truth that nobody listens to?
I don't smoke weed. I drink and smoke cigarettes. I've recently started vaping to wean myself off and eventually just quit entirely. I'm overweight and about to go into my 30's I'm a couple of years. I just want this shit to go away. I don't even know if I'm schizophrenic because I refuse to go even though I have the money and time but I tell myself I don't. Fuck dude. Like I'm too much of a pussy to kill myself but every other month I have an exit bag in my Amazon cart.
To see a shrink*. I've been drinking.
Literally fucking how. If everything I'm thinking is true, how do I live with myself?
Post related to pic unrelated,
Are they bringing them shits back? Those were FIRE.
>truman show
god damn i wish that movie never came out
so many fucking kids took that shit way too seriously
You've never had thoughts like that? That other people are faking it, or aren't real people at all?
I never saw Truman Show as a kid, but I had thoughts like that from time to time.
nothing you're thinking is true, first off
this entire reality is just a thoughtform
detach yourself from the fear and just go with the ride. there's nothing to be afraid of at all.
>imagine not having a greatful audience that enjoys the interaction
This may be somewhat unrelated but im a diagnosed schizo. Recently tried DMT, friends were all amazed at how little it affected me, they gave me more and more doses and bigger doses until i felt this strange comfortable feeling and saw dancing strings and loops of lights for about 4 minutes. I made them all stop talking so i could just process it in silence.
Afterward decided to stop taking my meds.
Lost 60lbs since then looking healthy and muscular now. Have massive insight and common sense. Motivated to improve my life and dont want to die immediately any more. Not afraid of death, just accepting of it when it comes, but enjoying life.
Still cant get over how they became retards on DMT and it took me so many doses that was getting exhausted inhaling the smoke and holding my breath, and could still talk with them.
I dunno bro. Reality is so weird.
I fucking wish dude
Well, it sums it up to a T. I feel like people are acting around me in stressful situations and it becomes apparent that they just stop talking or ask if I'm alright or push questions even though nothing about me has changed.
>Like I feel like I'm schizophrenic
You likely are mentally ill and are blaming the mushrooms because you ingested some around the time you noticed symptoms.
This whole pandmeic thing is just the season finale.
that's just you being hyperconscious and over crticial of your own actions
you need to stop caring about what others think of you and realize that everyone thinks the exact same way to a lesser or greater degree.
it's the brain, that does that. not the mind
Btw it i probably took 10-20x the dose that knocked my friends on their asses and one even threw up during a horror trip.
Also since i did that, i started realizing my family was treating me unbelievably bad and have started cutting them out one by one as they inevitably do something unforgivable.
Its almost like my mind was in a waking sleep state until after that DMT experience.
Op after an experience on the higher planes, it can be hard to reacclimate yourself to living through a lifetime.
You've eaten from the tree of knowledge of good and evil.
Took 6 months for this feeling to pass, and I get intense sensations of afterlife, where I feel as though I am writing my life as I live it, being pulled into the future, its never the same once the veil is lifted, just remember what home looks like and do your best in this lifetime while you still can. Remember what positive, good vibes mean on a 4dimensional scale, try to bring that goodness here to earth.
That's always been in my mind. I was always socially awkward as a kid. I still am, but not as apparent. I don't show any classic signs of schizophrenia. I know that people can form it at later ages, but it just seems all too real. I've smoked weed in the past and have had similar experiences but I just shrugged it off as "classic pot paranoia". I've tried coke about a month after I did shrooms and boy did I feel great. Not a care in the world. I actually felt confident and as normal as anyone can be. But like, that's what it's SUPPOSED to do. I don't want to see a psychiatrist because I don't want to be out on meds. Talking about this shit really helps. I honestly feel 1,000 times better reading everyone's experiences. Like I said though. The feelings only comes in stressful situations. Other than that I feel like a normal dude
cool blog man
I honestly would like to try it. The only way I could though would be from a friend's ex who I'm on aquatinted terms with. I heard it can really change your perspective more-so than shrooms or any other hallucinogenic can. But I mean... Joe Rogan memes are running rampant with it lol.
You're 100% not schizophrenic. You're coherent and have the ability to hold a conversation. The answers arent at a shrink's office
I think DMT reset my entire brain chemistry gave me a decent IQ boost. Shit saved me. I was going nowhere.
But i took so much DMT its insane. I took more than everyone else combined. They emptied the packet for me, all of them were in disbelief.
You just have to take life one day at a time man. you're thinking too far ahead in the future.
Shit's gonna suck, life sucks. But hey you're here. you're alive.
Just focus on the essentials. This globalization of government movement is gonna take months and years. No one's gonna come for you right away. no one's hunting you. You just have to focus on yourself and have a clear head on your shoulders.
if it stresses you out so much, pack a "bug-out" bag, for 3 days. everything you need for 3 days, if shit hits the fan, and you wanna skip town. a little bit of prep might help you out.
but in all honesty, do what relaxes you the most. stay away from drugs for a good while. especially psychedelics.
>I don't want to see a psychiatrist because I don't want to be out on meds
Psychs don't force you to take meds unless you're dangerous to yourself or others.
Just go see one.
>The answers arent at a shrink's office
Psychiatrists aren't boogy men
I've heard that my entire life. I'm just a dude trying to live my life without too many obstacles and confrontation. My adolescence was pretty awkward. I had to be quiet because my mom worked early and I stayed up late at night playing vidja games. We had paper thin walls and it turned out she had like MAD BPD, but I learned how to deal with it growing up. I'm as normal, plain white toast as can be, but I wouldn't trade it for the world.
Man, I love you.
>introspection
>Trade school
Kys
"is this real life"
Is this just fantasy
Okay so. Have you ever had the feeling of being so embarrassed that you feel like you're about to pass out? Like on the edge but never there? Like having pseudo-nausea but never actually throwing up? That's what I feel like whenever I have these "episodes" of feeling like I'm in a movie.
OP here btw, just switched to my pc instead of my phone.
Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality?
Fucking. god dammit it's appropriate.
Read PIKHAL and TIKHAL. One of them (I forget which) relates the episode of a person who experiences a prolonged dissociative state as the result of using hallucinogens. It may help you. Good luck and God bless.
Who molested you?
I mean, it came out that my grandfather was a pervert, womanizer, and child beater, but he never did anything to me.
I guess I was too ugly huehuehuehuehue.
No but in all seriousness, I had a pretty bland childhood.
I'm watching a press conference type thing on youtube now. Thank you user.
I'm going to man. I have these episodes and then feel completely fine if not better, as like I never had those feeling in the first place. I just wish those would go away so I can just have fun with life.
All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts
>I had a pretty bland childhood
No u didn't. Something happened. Maybe u just dont remember it.
And why would you say your grandfather didnt molest you? If he really didn't, you wouldn't even bring this up
Who told you life is supposed to be fun?
yea man, i'm right there with you. You just need to give yourself more time to decompress the things going on in your head. Panic attacks are a bitch. BUT DOOMSDAY ANXIETY IS A MOTHERFUCKER.
You play any video games? time away from social media could really help you.
Man, I've tried remembering anything that could have happened.Trauma, hardships, injuries, etc. I can't think of a single thing. I even remember my mom winning a car when I was like 3. I have a lock-tight memory. *IF* anything happened, it would have happened before then.
I joke, but like, I was a little aryan. Blond haired, blue eyed, liked power rangers and sailor moon. Maybe I was a snack as a kid to fucking degenerates, but for the life of me I can't remember.
wow you had to do shrooms to get that feeling? i've had truman syndrome for like twenty years my dude.
Whatever u gotta tell yourself. Maybe someday you will have the balls to figure out why u struggle with life. I doubt it tho.
As much as getting your thoughts out there and reading feedback has helped you, OP, seeing this thread is helpful to me.
I had a very similar experience a couple years ago with mushrooms, and it left me twisting in the wind. I was 100% certain, even if for 15 min or so, that I was in the middle of a carefully calibrated, manipulative production. Friends I had known for decades suddenly seemed alien and malevolent. It really sucked.
I will kind of agree with the one ernest user who is writing back to you, that maybe you should delve deeper. I didn't - too scared - and I think I might be worse off for it. At the same time, before you just double down, it's a good idea to do as much as possible to address the shit that's bothering you before you do so. What's the point of taking the same trip with the same lingering baggage?
As an aside, I second the idea of a break from social media/the internet. I busted a phone awhile back, and didn't have the money to replace it. I spent a month without a smartphone, and 100% without a doubt during that month I was more clearheaded, cognizant and focused than I had been in a decade.
He's onto us, guys. Who the FUCK snitched!!?
>didn't do laundry in 7 weeks
what the fuck did you wear?
That's my thought process. I wanted to do it again, but isolated without distractions. I wouldn't have the unwanted feelings of doubt in my friends that they aren't the people that I've grown to know and love. I don't think I'll actually do them again, or any hallucinogen for that matter ever again. The friend that got them for us only took a half gram and he told me to take the rest of the bag (around 4g's altogether) Which doesn't sound like a lot, but for my first time it was the world. I felt so good doing them. I looked away form a light source and when I looked back I could literally see the light moving to the place where it was supposed to be. My uncle told me about vapor trails of his hand moving slowly in front of his face. I tried it and it was so exhilarating. It was a new experience every time I did it. It was scary but fun. I saw images of my hand slowly fading like someone had taken a shutter shot of something moving extremely fast, but had every image available to look through. After that I started seeing blue, green, and red lights that were in an x shape all around me. They covered my field of view and made a perfect pattern. I looked to the trees and for some reason imagined the original Donkey Kong level. the broken pink girders leading up the tree. I fucking KNEW that Miyamoto must have taken mushrooms before he came up with the idea of Mario, it made too much sense. the ideology, the items, the characters.
Now THAT's a stretch, but I've been playing video games my entire life so I guess my mind immediately turned to that when I was basically being food-poisoned.
I loved them until my friend said something that I don't actually remember, it was like the flip of a switch. I immediately went to a bad trip that I've never really recovered from. He took me into the house and gave me Diphenhydramine basically and a blanket. He turned on Planet Earth. The images were fucking trippy dude. What made things worse though, was the episode that he put on was about birds and trying to find a mate. The narrator basically said, "This birds a fucking loser and he will not survive in life". I'm paraphrasing of course but it fucking got to me. I tried sleeping after that (We were probably 3-4 hours in). I kept falling asleep into a dream and then waking up trying not to fully fall asleep. I quite literally thought if I went to bed, I would die.
I would have these fever dreams about different scenarios and thought that if I fell asleep on a certain one, I would wake up and that's what my life would have to be like. Like I would have to strive for that. Every option that I had was terrible. I eventually fell asleep from exhaustion. I woke up and I thought I heard laughing so I left. I probably shouldn't have but I did.My entire body was drenched in sweat and I felt suicidal for around a week and a half afterwards, I looked up why and basically all of my Serotonin was like, "lol nah fam, we're not going to make any more for you until you stop acting like a bitch"
Okay. I'm super tired. Iw ant to thank everyone in this thread. I'm going to bed now.
My least favorite people: “I did x drug (usually something gay like weed) and now I geek the fuck out all the time!
Why can’t you be normal and enjoy drugs like the rest of us, why does this only happen to guys with no self esteem? It’s so fucking stupid, if this ever happens to me I’m going to never tell anyone because I hate people like this so much. Imagine being such a fucking wet blanket that you can’t even let people enjoy smoking or tripping without having a fuckin autistic meltdown.
I must be a rapist, because I didn't ask you.
psychiatrists are jews
fuck em, same with therapists
>psychiatrists are jews
Hitler was mentally ill and could have turned his life around with the help of a psychiatrist.