So I did mushrooms about 4 months ago. After that I feel like everything is a play. Like I feel like I'm schizophrenic...

Who told you life is supposed to be fun?

yea man, i'm right there with you. You just need to give yourself more time to decompress the things going on in your head. Panic attacks are a bitch. BUT DOOMSDAY ANXIETY IS A MOTHERFUCKER.

You play any video games? time away from social media could really help you.

Man, I've tried remembering anything that could have happened.Trauma, hardships, injuries, etc. I can't think of a single thing. I even remember my mom winning a car when I was like 3. I have a lock-tight memory. *IF* anything happened, it would have happened before then.

I joke, but like, I was a little aryan. Blond haired, blue eyed, liked power rangers and sailor moon. Maybe I was a snack as a kid to fucking degenerates, but for the life of me I can't remember.

wow you had to do shrooms to get that feeling? i've had truman syndrome for like twenty years my dude.

Whatever u gotta tell yourself. Maybe someday you will have the balls to figure out why u struggle with life. I doubt it tho.

As much as getting your thoughts out there and reading feedback has helped you, OP, seeing this thread is helpful to me.

I had a very similar experience a couple years ago with mushrooms, and it left me twisting in the wind. I was 100% certain, even if for 15 min or so, that I was in the middle of a carefully calibrated, manipulative production. Friends I had known for decades suddenly seemed alien and malevolent. It really sucked.

I will kind of agree with the one ernest user who is writing back to you, that maybe you should delve deeper. I didn't - too scared - and I think I might be worse off for it. At the same time, before you just double down, it's a good idea to do as much as possible to address the shit that's bothering you before you do so. What's the point of taking the same trip with the same lingering baggage?

As an aside, I second the idea of a break from social media/the internet. I busted a phone awhile back, and didn't have the money to replace it. I spent a month without a smartphone, and 100% without a doubt during that month I was more clearheaded, cognizant and focused than I had been in a decade.

He's onto us, guys. Who the FUCK snitched!!?

>didn't do laundry in 7 weeks

what the fuck did you wear?

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That's my thought process. I wanted to do it again, but isolated without distractions. I wouldn't have the unwanted feelings of doubt in my friends that they aren't the people that I've grown to know and love. I don't think I'll actually do them again, or any hallucinogen for that matter ever again. The friend that got them for us only took a half gram and he told me to take the rest of the bag (around 4g's altogether) Which doesn't sound like a lot, but for my first time it was the world. I felt so good doing them. I looked away form a light source and when I looked back I could literally see the light moving to the place where it was supposed to be. My uncle told me about vapor trails of his hand moving slowly in front of his face. I tried it and it was so exhilarating. It was a new experience every time I did it. It was scary but fun. I saw images of my hand slowly fading like someone had taken a shutter shot of something moving extremely fast, but had every image available to look through. After that I started seeing blue, green, and red lights that were in an x shape all around me. They covered my field of view and made a perfect pattern. I looked to the trees and for some reason imagined the original Donkey Kong level. the broken pink girders leading up the tree. I fucking KNEW that Miyamoto must have taken mushrooms before he came up with the idea of Mario, it made too much sense. the ideology, the items, the characters.

Now THAT's a stretch, but I've been playing video games my entire life so I guess my mind immediately turned to that when I was basically being food-poisoned.

I loved them until my friend said something that I don't actually remember, it was like the flip of a switch. I immediately went to a bad trip that I've never really recovered from. He took me into the house and gave me Diphenhydramine basically and a blanket. He turned on Planet Earth. The images were fucking trippy dude. What made things worse though, was the episode that he put on was about birds and trying to find a mate. The narrator basically said, "This birds a fucking loser and he will not survive in life". I'm paraphrasing of course but it fucking got to me. I tried sleeping after that (We were probably 3-4 hours in). I kept falling asleep into a dream and then waking up trying not to fully fall asleep. I quite literally thought if I went to bed, I would die.

I would have these fever dreams about different scenarios and thought that if I fell asleep on a certain one, I would wake up and that's what my life would have to be like. Like I would have to strive for that. Every option that I had was terrible. I eventually fell asleep from exhaustion. I woke up and I thought I heard laughing so I left. I probably shouldn't have but I did.My entire body was drenched in sweat and I felt suicidal for around a week and a half afterwards, I looked up why and basically all of my Serotonin was like, "lol nah fam, we're not going to make any more for you until you stop acting like a bitch"

Okay. I'm super tired. Iw ant to thank everyone in this thread. I'm going to bed now.