YLYL:

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>be me
>16 yo virgin
>tall and scrawny, with brown hair and glasses
>meet chick at school same age as me
>she seems trashy but whatever
>dating for a few weeks
>she brings me home to meet her family
>im immediately nervous
>her father and brother are morbidly fat
>and the house smells bad
>like vomit and bo
>they sit me down
>tell me I "walked into the courtroom"
>can barely understand what they are saying
>so fat they cant talk through their jowls
>i think they are telling me they want to fuck her
>and blah blah blah
>i just want to get out of there the smell is killing me
>take gf on date
>dinner and a movie
>at dinner
>she eats like a pig
>chews with mouth open, talks while chewing
>belches AT the wait staff and laughs about it
>I make an excuse to get out of the movie
>take her home and get the fuck out of there
>about a week later she calls me
>wants to hang out
>whatever.mp3
>let her in
>within mins she finds my older brothers alcohol stash
>drinks an amount that should kill a rhino
>bitches about how her faggot brother is always trying to fuck her
>bitches when she finds out I dated a college chick previously
>twerks the entire time
>not a majestic sight
>after an hour of this I tell her to leave
>she gets pissed and tells me we are through
>while twerking
>throws three vodka bottles at me but doesn't come close
>twerks out the door
>I close and lock the door and hide in my room
>whatthefuckisupwiththatfamily.webm

Look, if you're just gonna spam greentexts, we might as well have fun with it.

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Actual true story inbound
>be me
>17 at the time
>beta loser who can't get laid for the life of him
>pathological fear of older men since middle school, when some priest fucked me
>have a younger sister, 16 at this time
>my sister is boy crazy, really wants to date some boys
>announces that she's "seeing a man she met online
>father and I start discussing plans on how to shoot the creep
>few days later, brings the guy home
>tall, scrawny neet with brown hair and glasses
>visibly sweating
>my father and I sit down and tell him that he's "walked into the courtroom"
>discuss for a few minutes
>they go out
>dad tells me "he a faggot"
>sis comes home
>announces it was "fun"
>around a week later, my sister tells me that her boyfriend has said some creepy things
>she's worried that he's going to hurt her
>about a week later, overhear a conversation between my sister and my mother
>"I think I can heal him"
>tryingtoholdbacklaughter.jpg
>tell my father this
>laughs uncontrollably
>mfw my dad predicted exactly how his daughter's first relationship would go down.
>two days late
>sister calls me crying so hard I can barely make out the words
>"He drugged me"
>I don't know what to say so I just listen
>"He drugged me and he let all his friends fuck me and they filmed it user"
>I try to remain calm and tell her that I love her and ask her to come over
>She crying so hard she starts dry heaving into the phone
>I tell her to stay where she is and that I'll be there in a hour
>I hangup
>I go to the shower
>I turn the water up as hot as possible and sit down
>The water is so hot it burns
>I pull my legs up to my chest and cradle them as the tears come
>My skin hurts and turns red where the water touches
>I cry and cry and cry as the it pours over me
>I think about the priest
>I think about the videos he took
>The years I spent wanting to kill myself
>I have never told anyone but my sister
>The waters never hot enough to make me feel clean

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Lost. Gotta love dads!

$1000!

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India is combating it better than most other countries.

Liberals: More sexual freedom for everyone!
Also liberals:

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Source?

???

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>be me
>37 yo
>beta loser who can't get laid for the life of him, still virgin
>pathological fear of viruses since middle school, when the teacher made us watch outbreak
>have a younger sister, 16 at this time
>been trying to fuck her for years
>one day announces that she "doesnt feel good"
>father and I start discussing plans on where to get TP
>few days later, sister still sick
>mom takes her to doctor, it's corona
>who gives a shit
>my father and I sit down and talk about acquiring TP
>discuss for a few minutes
>we go out
>dad tells me "be prepared to fight"
>we come home empty handed
>I got my ass kicked by a 19 yo fat chick with three kids
>I have two black eyes, and a broken nose
>dad can't stop laughing uncontrollably
>sister can't stop laughing uncontrollably
>mom just coughs uncontrollably
>try to get sister to suck my dick in exchange for TP
>denied.webm
>whole family laugh-coughs at me
>climb in shower
>water is as hot as it will go but feels lukewarm
>shit, now I have a fever
>reach out and grab TP and pull into shower with me
>TP gets heavy as it soaks up water from shower
>last roll of TP in house
>I may be a virgin and dying, but I'm taking the TP with me

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Oooooztralia...

Said nobody ever.

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body proportions wise this Bat Hung AF

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a small loa... Bag of 1000 Dollas

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Well shit, they did becone a superpower

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just saw the other one bro gg

Whoa was his post deleted?!?

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This is something a gas chamber with Jesus in it would say.

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Damn she gotta get it together, or she's not going to live long.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=YB1AN3Q7CDo&feature=youtu.be

Joe Biden.

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MJ is looking old man

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People are saying in Germany.

People are buying in oil.

People are making in Dracula.

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If this doesn't bring your blood to a boil, nothing will.

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Guess Trump fucked up then.

Le Booga Kunigunde.

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this is priceless.

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I mean it IS sterile so...

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cow peepee not sterile, im cow docter

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Im not the spammer, read it.