Have you guys ever met an actual watamote/hikki type girl that struggles in getting into relationships...

hikki type but I'm not a sperg type, so this is probably of no real help. Have never dated anyone ever, nor has any dude been interested for more than like a week, kek. I am strangely popular with girls though, but I'm not into them so it's really just wasted.
ama I guess

What does it mean when i girl seems distant? pretty sure she is at least a bit sperg though.

>ama I guess
Do you want a bf and where are you from?

Yep in middle/high school. She was ugly to the point of it being unfortunate and probably the surliest furry I've ever met in person. She wore the same paw/tail combo to school every single day and had no issue showing people her binder full of furry porn. She tried making moves on pretty much everyone in the weeaboo circle but she was...exhausting to be around. She probably could have slept around despite her looks if she wasn't so annoying.

I've only met one but she's my girlfriend now

It took nearly a year and a half of being a good friend and talking nearly every day to convince her to get into a relationship though but we've lived together for roughly a year now. It's been great though she still struggles to get a job due to her severe anxiety and depression

depends what kind of girl she is. gotta tell me more about her for any meaningful insights. she could either be avoiding you, too shy to talk to you, OR is just that kind of person.

kind of but not really. I want to have someone I harbor romantic feelings for yes, but that hasn't happened, ever. I am east coast, but I am not white.

fucc messed up the quoting

first line meant for this

>I am east coast, but I am not white.
I'm interested. What ethnicity are you hiki-chan?

Yes and no
Met a fat ugly girl (not trying to be offensive) through a dating app 2 years ago, I tried to do conversation but she didn't know how to answer and didn't know what to talk about, literally nothing, no topic or anything, I had to start conversation Everytime, she told me a lot, even though chat that she didn't know what to talk about and that she was bad at conversation, literally was very awkward our meeting (we only hang out like 2 times) she had no social skills or anything, no boyfriend'of course, difference is that she was in college so she wasn't a hikki.
The other one... Was me lmao, but like 7 years ago (I'm 24) difference is that o was a cute twink sadboy (I had that emo haircut, sometimes I was mistaken for a girl) and a few girls actually we're interested about me, I obviously was a pussy too so I never tried to do any move, nowadays I left all of that behind (and yes I fugged the fat girl twice and raw)

Attached: 1586239085020m.jpg (1024x768, 98.96K)

won't say which country because it's always bothersome to deal with here, but I am east asian.

well she was decently talkative and seemed happy the first 2 days. then she ghosted me for a week but i got her to come back and she said she was just nervous and felt like she was disappointing me and she apologized. we had another good 2 days played viyda talked etc.then she was sick and sleeped most of the day and now today she seems really nice still but not talkative or wanting to do anything just distant. I really like her and just want to understand better.

Want to chat? I live on the east coast, my email is [email protected] if you want to send whatever sort of contact info there so you don't get swarmed by people

You sound like a really good bf user. I can only wish things ended up different with the robot I met on here but he wasn't nearly as patient or understanding.

What state if you don't mind me asking? origi

watamote/tomoko is a normalfag so she fits in with the latter part of your statement

so did you only meet her recently? IF that's the case, I think she's happy she met someone new and enjoys talking, but (if she's anything like me), she's quickly running out of steam when it comes to socialization. She doesn't want to cut things off with you, but it becomes increasingly heavier the longer the awkwardness goes on. She might be enjoying the silence a little too much and feel bad she's "abandoning" you, therefore causing her to distance from you. In this situation, best thing you can do is give her some distance, but give her easy chances to initiate.

If she's known you for a decent amount of time, sounds like she just didn't expect to do one on one conversation with you for so long.

How are your conversations like? I think you should keep a good balance between talking about yourself, her talking about herself, and miscellaneous topics in between.. For example, if she's talking about herself too much she might feel burdened about how much she's telling you. If you're talking too much about yourself, well, that's kind of self explanatory.

anyways, this is all under assumption that she's similar to my mindset, so feel free to describe her personality more for a better judgement.

thanks for the offer but you're only going to be disappointed. I can't really get close to anyone without wanting to ghost them in the end due to hikki tendencies.

jesus if watamote in the anime is a normalfag by your standards, i have no clue what a sperg girl is for you. she was a caricatured symbol of social anxiety.

>In this situation, best thing you can do is give her some distance, but give her easy chances to initiate.
Yeah I did that and she blocked me. BPD whores should just fucking end it.

That's fine, I'm a hikki too. To a similar extent I do that too, I withdraw from friendships when I get attached but that doesn't mean you have to cut the person out of your life and ghost them you know?

even early on she was pretty normalfag, just a failed one. shes nowhere near the sperg girl archtype you are imagining

Oops wrong person, meant to reply to lol

Just look at that poor girl. Industrial Society was a mistake.
Imagine; she could be washing laundry in a babbling brook.

bpd is a whole different thing from being isolated/hikki, can't help you there friend.

I think you and I have different reasons for being hikki.. Otherwise you wouldn't be saying that. The more ties I have to this world, the heavier it gets. It's like a sinking feeling dragging me down under the ocean. When I die, I want no one to remember me, nor mourn for me. Once I come out of any form anonymity and/or give anons special treatment, it becomes too identifying. Sorry user, but best of luck finding your hikki gf or whatever you wanted.

just under 2 weeks if you count the 7 day ghost
you say give her some distance but when i did that before she disappeared and now i'm pretty spammy but i'm not sure what to do since i'm an actual autist.
I ask her what she would like to talk about and try to bring up some things of my own but she just seems not very talkative.
i would enjoy silence with her if we like lived in the same house you know? i don't want this to fail. it has been a good while since i talked to someone else aiming for a relationship but i have never felt like this now, like i like her a lot right away and don't want to mess this up.

plenty of women do that nowadays. not just introverts. its annoying as hell.

Yeah I noticed that when I tried online dating
I hated it, it was so fucking dumb. The main difference with this girl is that shes really bad at it and manages to turn people off from her just by doing it. When shes not being obsessed with her appearance shes great fun to talk to, unlike the thots I met through online dating.

I'm guessing you guys met under some kind of deal with finding a bf/gf? First of all, have you told her you like her already? This could go a few ways

1. She doesn't like you and she knows you like her. Obviously the worst of the outcomes. But considering she said she's worried about disappointing you, I don't think that's quite the case.
IF your talking started under the premise you were looking to date, she might just be regretting starting out as a romantic interest instead of a friend. It gives too much room for feelings of pressure to develop and not enough room for actual feelings.

2. She doesn't like you (romantically) and she doesn't know you like her. You're basically just friendzoned, so she doesn't TRY to talk to you that often. Arguably bad, but you can turn this around if you try to show more of your traits that are similar to the type of person she would have feelings for.

3. She likes you and she knows you like her. The least likely considering how she's acting, but on the 1% chance this is the case, she's just too nervous to even talk and/or figuring out how to confess/get you to confess to her. Don't get your hopes up for this.

4. She likes you and she doesn't know you like her. Similar to above, except she's more nervous due to not wanting to make you not like her. Not very likely desu only because you guys have only met for 2 weeks.

Basically your best bet is to go back through your conversations and look at what she responded best to. Obviously don't repeat those conversations, but follow similar patterns. If she has any interests in things like games or comics, try to make some interesting conversation about it. basically find topics that let her ramble a little.

You don't have to ignore her to give her space, just send her messages at lower intervals and see how she responds before deciding on your next message. Maybe consider good times to message her. Hopefully if you guys get closer you won't have to do this later on.

She said she liked me and i asked again after she ghosted and came back and she said she still likes me and when we where discussing appearance she said i sound like i look nice but she would like me no matter how i look.
my hopes are already as up as they can be so too late. i tried to start a conversation earlier and she got offline. i'm not sure what i'm supposed to do or what's happening.

I met an awkward girl who was likable enough. Fucked the living shit out of her. Had awesome tits. Put my finger up her butt.

Came all over her plenty of times and then never spoke to her again. Great times. She was an uncut gem.

what do guys reallistically expect in an awkward spergy girl?

If she says she likes you, she probably does to some extent. But, considering she's only known you for like two weeks, she's probably worried that the rush of having someone like her will wear off and she'll be stuck in a situation where she'll always be the asshole for breaking it off. Honestly, it sounds like the rate this is going, she'll end up ghosting again no matter what you do. It COULD have just been bad timing, but the going offline thing sounds pretty bad.

Were you perhaps being too pushy about dating? It doesn't have to be directly, things like asking her how she looks/telling her how you look, telling her she sounds cute, etc. Typically that would be normal, but again, you just met two weeks ago, so it might feel a bit pressuring for her. The problem might stem from her feeling bad that your conversations are immediately under the premise that you two will eventually date. Some girls want something more naturally flowing, though they may not realize that's the problem.

I really can't tell you what to do since no matter what she might feel burdened by it. So, really it's just up to what you would regret not doing. You could try directly asking her if she's distancing from you. Though, don't make it sound like an accusation. More like an offer to change the dynamics of your conversation. Try to do it after the conversation slows down and it's been like a day since her last response. (though that also depends on what is typical of her response rate).

Pretty much just give her a chance to voice her concerns, since it seems like there's a lot she's not saying.

are you anywhere near boston? just curious

to be personable enough to talk to them. i used to think them being submissive is cool but it just leads to a boring overall personality, so i guess if they could be kinda controlling when they have to be it wouldn't be a half-assed relationship at all.

Nope, not even close. I'm not who you're thinking of.

Hey. I struggle to get into a relationship and I've been a neet for 12 years. Ama.

(Don't hit on me I'll just leave the thread.)

"submissive" just means a lazy bitch who wants you to do everything right so that she doesn't have to do anything

I met her looking for a gf and that's what she added me for some i'm not sure what you would call us.she even said it was okay to meet up soon.
i am likely to pushy/spammy in messages but that's because i'm trying to spike her interest in something to talk about i think.
>at the rate this is going she'll end up ghosting you again no matter what you do.
that would kill me
and it doesn't make sense i care so much since i'v talked to people before but my instincts are telling me not to let go here like a lot.

doesnt being a recluse/hikki/sperg, etc imply they wouldnt be personable enough to talk to? mind you this is before considering any possible mental illnesses they may have

is there any particular thing you think i should say if she doesn't respond by later tomorrow?

hey do you want a bf i'm cute and smell good and can carry you in games and rl probably

being a social recluse can only limit you so far. excluding the mentally ill, everyone should be able to hold a conversation. and to someone of the same sex at the very LEAST. so i don't think it's that much of an expectation where we can talk about our day for a few minutes and legitimately enjoy that small interaction.

The closest I've seen was this weird ftm chick who was dating one of my friends, only saw "him" at a party once tho
>shoulder length black hair
>spoke about 5 times
>stuck to my friend like a barnacle
>smoked all our weed
Also I had a friend in middle school who hit most of the boxes but over all that stuff is best remaining in 2D. But any kind of woman is better in 2D amirite fellas?

How do I find an r9k gf.
I'm a 27 year old guy that is pretty inexperienced but I got my shit together regarding work at least so I can solve that problem.

Just support me and push me a bit to do things with you and I'll pay for it all.

successful people legitimately make me anxious and intimidate me. you could probably get a better gf than someone from here

Yeah, I'm assuming she's just feeling a bit guilty that you seem to like her a LOT more than she likes you. I think if she doesn't respond by tomorrow, you should just try to get the truth from her (without being demanding about it). Both of you are having a problem with lack of communication, which makes sense considering how and when you first met.You may just have to let the immediate chance of a relationship go and settle for being JUST friends for a while (with no assumption on either end that you'll date). Assuming she's also a recluse, you're probably the only dude she talks to anyways. She just needs to get more comfortable in a regular friendship before even considering dating.

I think I did similar stuff when I was a bit younger (not that I'm particularly old now). I occasionally added guys who seemed lonely, but got really regretful the more the guy seemed interested within that five day conversation span. I think I just assumed getting in a relationship would fill some kind of void in my heart, but it really just made me feel worse the bigger the gap between how I assumed relationships should feel and how I actually felt became. I had similar ghosting patterns because I really DID like them, at least as some sort of companionship. But in the end, I pretty much managed to scare them off somehow, so I guess that worked out.

Should i just right this in this box to her just like this (can you please just tell me how you feel) or would there be a better way to word it?

Also she can't scare me off. i just want to be happy with her.
i can't settle for just friends it needs to be in a relationship i mean we can take it slower but you know what i mean?
i was really hoping she liked me a lot too and just doesn't know how to express it. I never felt like this before.

>When I die, I want no one to remember me, nor mourn for me
I do this too, sometimes I daydream about getting my life together enough to move away and be independent and not tell my family and hope they forget about me over time.
But I don't know why I feel this way it's strange

I think that would work, though maybe accompany it with something like (I don't want to go too far and be inconsiderate of your feelings)

Think about it this way: How would you feel if a random girl (that isn't her/you don't like her) kept talking to you assuming you liked her and you would date eventually. Even if you did kind of like her, it would probably be offputting to some extent. Wouldn't you rather have had a girl who liked you without knowing you HAD to date her to continue talking to her?
If you two really like each other, being friends first will only help your relationship be less of an uninformed decision in the end. Like what if you two find out there's some sort of huge dealbreaker a month into dating because she's only known you for one month? Wouldn't you feel upset if she broke up with you over a small thing she would have found out normally before dating? It's the same thing for her; especially if it's her first relationship. You shouldn't immediately go in thinking you two will like each other and it'll go perfectly, since it'll just hurt you both once you realize the idealization is wearing off.

it's some sort inherent feeling of detachment from this world, I guess. It has its pros and cons.

I know one. She's super into traditional Japanese crafts and cooking despite being a scrawny white girl, and as far as I know she works from home as a software dev and basically never leaves her apartment now. I've known her for 15 years and she's never dated anyone in that time.

how about (can you please just tell me how you feel? i want to understand you better and make you happy) is that better? i'm not sure if i should send it now or tommorow i just want her to read it
last thing i said is are you just not feeling talkative or are you alright?

well she added me in a thread where i was looking for a gf so i'm not sure. i don't believe i have any small dealbreakers and wouldn't dating like slow count for weeding that stuff out? i believe people can adapt to each other.