You know how they say you can't turn a Hoe into a housewife? In my case it was a hippie into a housewife. I domesticated her. But then I stopped giving her fun times (trips, adventures) and just stuck to suburbia. I'm in group 1 amigo. I'll slay the poon, I can slap on a smile eventually. But all I'll think about was that I had more fun with her going to the grocery store than having 2 sluts at once...
10 year relationship
Eli Flores
Chase Jenkins
A fucking sensible answer on /b of all places
Jaxson Sullivan
Thank you friend. You seem to be taking a pragmatic approach to it as well. I'd love to hear more of your thoughts and these red flags you see, maybe I've missed some. Yes, I was emotionally and sexually distant. But our sex life was laying for like a year prior. I just assumed she would come around when she wanted it. We were still amazing partners, we just didn't place sex as important as it should be. All throughout our relationship, she would warn me to enjoy my 20s, and that once she turned 30 she might not be as liberal because she would feel subconscious. She turned 30 in December. I didn't do shit....
Jeremiah Ward
Sounds like your problem is you haven't had enough relationships OP. You might have had plenty of flings, or childhood sex, whatever. But if you've been in one serious relationship where you've connected with another person since the age of 21 then you don't have the emotional maturity to just accept things as they come and as they are. Just let her be on her way and forget about her. Don't think about getting back together or a day coming where she comes to you and says she made a mistake. Move on with your life and connect with another woman some day. Find meaning in your life and your own tasks
Christopher Cooper
Been married for 11 years now with 4 kids in the mix. It's been fucking amazing but definitely no walk in the park
I mostly ignore all the retarded shit people spout on relationship here but OP seems like a sensible person who could use a good advice.
It's crazy how having basic communication for a healthy relationship isn't rocket science yet everybody, media etc spouts o much nonsense
Ayden Allen
I was in a similar boat, bro. Relationship for 10 years, strain got put on the relationship (though by her mother, not by either of us), and as soon as there was resistance she went off with some other dude. She tried to lie about it, but when she stopped responding to my texts I went into her phone history to make sure she was okay (I paid for it, so I had access to the portal), and saw constant messages with some unknown number. Suspicions raised, I went in to her messages and found the proof she had been slinging it around.
Took me a long time to get where I am now mentally, but I'll tell you this: don't blame yourself. Even if you made mistakes in how you were handling the situation, SHE still made the decision to cheat, and nothing you did influences or justifies that. It's a matter of trust and open, honest communication; SHE'S the one that made the decision to betray that trust. So to hell with her. Yeah, it really sucks, having that much of your time and emotions invested in someone, just to have it all go up in smoke. It breaks you, mentally, physically, and emotionally, and I won't lie, you're going to be broken for a while. Don't run from the pain, embrace it, let it show you where your weaknesses are, and then overcome them. You'll eventually come out the other end, and be a better version of yourself.
Aiden Bennett
Emotional maturity to accept things as they come? Elaborate.
How is not having enough relationships my issue? If anything, it seems to be hers. I think she needs to experience not just other cocks, but to reinforce the fact that I was a loving caring man. She knows this. But sometimes I was a bit on the boring/cautious side, and I'm sure throughout the yrs it became overbearing sometimes. She always told me I was like a dad and a boyfriend, she appreciated it as her dad died young. But she also knew it was a difficult task to juggle both roles at times. Granted, I only did the dad role for the 1st 4yrs.
Caleb Hughes
I agree (this is the guy posting about 2 groups). The truth is that biologically speaking we're serial monogamists; when one relationship ends, we seek out another. The only difference is the pace at which we do this.
Some people can have over a hundred relationships in one life (probably someone from the second group). Others can have 3, 2, 1, or sometimes even no relationships in their life due to their incredibly slow rate at recovering from a broken heart. Such is life.
Camden Sullivan
Luis Taylor
Thank you both. But in the interest of seeing both sides, I cheated on her with her sister 4yes ago and she forgave me. I was upfront and confessed though. I did it out of anger and to hurt her. The one Achilles Heel she always had, and only curbed because of what I did and a medical situation that happened to her, was/is her drinking. Since then though, we both controlled it. We had such a good dynamic. I can't help but blame myself. I just flashback and think about her rolling around in bed for an hour begging for sex and me just dismissing her. When I read the texts, the guy literally asked "why me if you've never cheated before?". She answered "Right place, right time. I just want to be desired". That was a few days after her begging me for sex