>10 year relationship. >Been together since 20/21 >Good faithful woman for 10 yrs (I always been paranoid and tracked her whereabouts/phone without her knowing) >Gives me 3somes last 5 yrs >This year, I'm going through some stuff and end up driving her into another man's arms. >She admits she hates who she's become, but can't help herself. >We try to work things out for a month, no avail. She belongs to the streets now
I still care about her. I don't care about her getting dick from another guy. Not enough to stay with her as a boyfriend. But she's been my best friend for 12 yrs. Seeing her become everything she's despised and the fact I'm partly to blame for not seeing her cries for attention/help these past few months is torture.
I'm debating staying her friend, letting her ride the cock carousel, and let all her wildness out that she didn't experience in her 20s, and maybe getting back together eventually. I say that because we fell in love because of our great friendship (we were friends for 2 yrs). The thought of starting up with another chick and being in this same situation, which is always the case, a few years down the line is daunting. I rather the devil I know. Guess I wanted to vent, talk, advice, whatever from my b/ros.
Damn bro is this all of our fates? Been with my dream girl for like a year but she got all the dicking out of her system in high school. I really don't trust her though. Trust issues I guess. What did you do to drive her away?
Wyatt Fisher
Even though it was a good sandwich, you don't eat it after throwing it in the trashcan.
She cared about how you made her feel, not for you specifically.
Burn that bridge, block that bitch.
Chase Smith
Haha what a loser. You did this to yourself faggot. Have fun dying alone in a puddle of your own tears and despair.
Carson Harris
Whenever I saw these threads, I always said "Nah. Not my girl". She turned into a completely different person in 4 months. Again, THE ONLY THING that gives me some solace is I discovered the texts. Saw how it lined up with me and her. The straw that broke the camels back was when she was waiting in bed for me butt naked and wanted me to fuck her brains out. I fucked her. Then I went to bed. She kept literally crawling all over me begging for more for the next hr. I told her I was tired. I deserve my fate....
Grayson Stewart
It was an extremely good sandwich. Like I said, I'm partly to blame. I just don't want to repeat this cycle again in a few years. We've shared experiences that can never be recreated. My dumbass actually thinks maybe this will be one them....
Jackson Moore
There are boogers on your sandwich, bro. No amount of ketchup or pickles or cheese is gonna save that.
Leo Bell
So what do? Repeat it with another girl?. When I met her, I wasn't looking for a GF. I was pounding pussy since I was 14 all the way up until the day i made her my GF at 21. Took a break until she opened up the threesomes 5yrs after the fact. I'm not going to be here with my dumb up my ass while she fucks guys either. I'm going to try to get back to slaying. I say try, because right now I'm broken. I already fucked a random whore yesterday, nothing.
Caleb Howard
If there's anything I've learned, it's this: There are sensitive and insensitive people out there, the first being people who get their hearts broken once and are they themselves broken seemingly forever, the second being people who regard other people in the same way most people regard watermelons; you get your use out of them and get rid of them when you're done. If you're in the second group, there's no problems. If you're in the first group, your goal is to find someone else in the first group and not falling prey to someone in the second. But how can you do that? Now that... is a good question.
James Foster
Not sure to understand properly You've been together 10 years since you were young You have been paranoid and spying on her the whole time This year you went through some stuff, I'm guessing that it put a strain on your relation, maybe you've been distant and all ? Apparently it took a toll on her and you did not reach to her 'cries for help' for a while until she cheated on you? You are sortof blaming yourself for this infidelity by not being sexually available enough for her ?
So many red flags to be honest. You should always trust each other for a starter and also always support each other. Nobody has to stick forever when the other is not meeting expectations and fulfilling his part of the emotional work needed for the relationship to work, but your partner is also here to halp you along rough patches. There's a gray line for when it's acceptable to seek out after the other has been in a dismal state for too long, but for what I read your down time can't be more than a couple months which is far from said grey line.
Anyhow, it's never acceptable to cheat in either cases and you should never blame yourself for that. Sex is not a vital necessity, people can masturbate and they won't die.
For me, before looking at the future and if you want to come back to her after she's had more sexual experience (which you apparently deem necessary or unavoidable..) I'd take a deep look at what your relationship has been during all this time because I see a lot of red flags and unhealthy shit going on
You know how they say you can't turn a Hoe into a housewife? In my case it was a hippie into a housewife. I domesticated her. But then I stopped giving her fun times (trips, adventures) and just stuck to suburbia. I'm in group 1 amigo. I'll slay the poon, I can slap on a smile eventually. But all I'll think about was that I had more fun with her going to the grocery store than having 2 sluts at once...
Chase Jenkins
A fucking sensible answer on /b of all places
Jaxson Sullivan
Thank you friend. You seem to be taking a pragmatic approach to it as well. I'd love to hear more of your thoughts and these red flags you see, maybe I've missed some. Yes, I was emotionally and sexually distant. But our sex life was laying for like a year prior. I just assumed she would come around when she wanted it. We were still amazing partners, we just didn't place sex as important as it should be. All throughout our relationship, she would warn me to enjoy my 20s, and that once she turned 30 she might not be as liberal because she would feel subconscious. She turned 30 in December. I didn't do shit....
Jeremiah Ward
Sounds like your problem is you haven't had enough relationships OP. You might have had plenty of flings, or childhood sex, whatever. But if you've been in one serious relationship where you've connected with another person since the age of 21 then you don't have the emotional maturity to just accept things as they come and as they are. Just let her be on her way and forget about her. Don't think about getting back together or a day coming where she comes to you and says she made a mistake. Move on with your life and connect with another woman some day. Find meaning in your life and your own tasks
Christopher Cooper
Been married for 11 years now with 4 kids in the mix. It's been fucking amazing but definitely no walk in the park I mostly ignore all the retarded shit people spout on relationship here but OP seems like a sensible person who could use a good advice. It's crazy how having basic communication for a healthy relationship isn't rocket science yet everybody, media etc spouts o much nonsense
Ayden Allen
I was in a similar boat, bro. Relationship for 10 years, strain got put on the relationship (though by her mother, not by either of us), and as soon as there was resistance she went off with some other dude. She tried to lie about it, but when she stopped responding to my texts I went into her phone history to make sure she was okay (I paid for it, so I had access to the portal), and saw constant messages with some unknown number. Suspicions raised, I went in to her messages and found the proof she had been slinging it around.
Took me a long time to get where I am now mentally, but I'll tell you this: don't blame yourself. Even if you made mistakes in how you were handling the situation, SHE still made the decision to cheat, and nothing you did influences or justifies that. It's a matter of trust and open, honest communication; SHE'S the one that made the decision to betray that trust. So to hell with her. Yeah, it really sucks, having that much of your time and emotions invested in someone, just to have it all go up in smoke. It breaks you, mentally, physically, and emotionally, and I won't lie, you're going to be broken for a while. Don't run from the pain, embrace it, let it show you where your weaknesses are, and then overcome them. You'll eventually come out the other end, and be a better version of yourself.
Emotional maturity to accept things as they come? Elaborate. How is not having enough relationships my issue? If anything, it seems to be hers. I think she needs to experience not just other cocks, but to reinforce the fact that I was a loving caring man. She knows this. But sometimes I was a bit on the boring/cautious side, and I'm sure throughout the yrs it became overbearing sometimes. She always told me I was like a dad and a boyfriend, she appreciated it as her dad died young. But she also knew it was a difficult task to juggle both roles at times. Granted, I only did the dad role for the 1st 4yrs.
Caleb Hughes
I agree (this is the guy posting about 2 groups). The truth is that biologically speaking we're serial monogamists; when one relationship ends, we seek out another. The only difference is the pace at which we do this.
Some people can have over a hundred relationships in one life (probably someone from the second group). Others can have 3, 2, 1, or sometimes even no relationships in their life due to their incredibly slow rate at recovering from a broken heart. Such is life.
Thank you both. But in the interest of seeing both sides, I cheated on her with her sister 4yes ago and she forgave me. I was upfront and confessed though. I did it out of anger and to hurt her. The one Achilles Heel she always had, and only curbed because of what I did and a medical situation that happened to her, was/is her drinking. Since then though, we both controlled it. We had such a good dynamic. I can't help but blame myself. I just flashback and think about her rolling around in bed for an hour begging for sex and me just dismissing her. When I read the texts, the guy literally asked "why me if you've never cheated before?". She answered "Right place, right time. I just want to be desired". That was a few days after her begging me for sex
Christopher Barnes
You didn't drive her into anyones arms. That's her manipulating you, all women are conniving like this. As time passes you're going to piece together how she was using you and how she managed to gas light you into believing you were the one who drove her away.
Bitch was always unfaithful, she just covered her tracks well. She didnt have to be having sex to be cheating, she's definitely been emotionally cheating on you for a long time. Women can only at most handle 7 years of a relationship. Why you think they call it the seven year itch? That's when bitches want to get divorced and ride new dick.
Cut the whore loose. Let her ride dick and enjoy that you get her at her best, and you can get rid of her at her worst. Only loyal bitches get treated like queens as they lose their looks and are rewarded for their faithfulness by a guy that takes care of her in her ugliness.
Be her friend, but be the guy you always wanted to be. I've got an ex that I'm fond of, but im not sexually attracted to her, I just like her company, planning on going on holiday, will pass by and see her, but Im going to be who I've become after the breakup, the guy that is only interested in himself, if she tries anything sexual, sorry bitch, you can have a hug, but i might just want to find myself a nice italian hooker for the night and then come back to cuddle with you and sleep. I'm also not there to listen to her life story, if I get bored I tell her to stop her story and lets do something fun or she can go away. Shit like that is perfect. She has no obligation to be with me, I have no obligation to be with her.
Don't be a simp. You've just been redpilled by her. Now you know no matter what, women can never be pleased, they are always looking for another man at some stage.
Sebastian Bell
This is a pathetic thread and you should end yourself faggot.
Aiden Young
neither of them are her, not none of them is her
Connor Brooks
leave her to the streets brother. cunts like this end up on the needle which is a nasty fate, just let her OD and the world can keep on spinning. you deserve better
Christopher Bell
You're a piece of shit for cheating and being cruel to her like that, but "after a few days" shows the extent of her love and respect for you.
Nathan Collins
Well, fuck, quads man. You've gotta do it now.
Adam Sullivan
Going through something similar and having a hard day, thanks for sharing OP. For me philosophy especially stoic philosophy helped a great deal.
Lincoln Sanchez
She forgave you because she was cheating too mate.
No good woman forgives a man for cheating. No good man forgives a woman for cheating.
That's just a general rule, there may be exceptions, but from my time on this life, all I've seen is forgiveness coming from cheaters so that they can be guilt free in cheating.
Also you didn't cheat, men who provide for their wives aren't cheaters, it's just sex. Women who take from a man and are provided for are the cheaters if they don't break up first and then pursue another man. Monkey branching is cheating. Pursuing men before a breakup is cheating.
I never had this view on 'cheating' before until I got experienced with women and realised these women are disgusting and want men who sleep around, they will forgive it because they want the top guys that they choose, whereas men will not forgive because men want loyalty from an unloyal creature, to give in to your true nature once as a woman, is to forsake it all. Tough shit on women cheaters, it's not possible for a good man to cheat because he's always providing. This is the price women pay for having a man that provides.
Aiden Smith
This guy is a simp. Two of those kids are not his, the faggot didnt even mention his wife cheating on him, go fuck yourself. 11 years, she's stepped out on him multiple times.
Nicholas Rodriguez
I've never seen so many mental gemnastics in one post
Jayden Moore
>Sex is not a vital necessity, people can masturbate and they won't die. What a loser mentality.
The entire point of a sexual relationship is sex beyond anything else.
Yeah, one might not die if they don't immediately get sex, just like someone wont get behind on bills if they take on a little volunteer work over the weekend, but the fact remains that if someone is withholding sex or a boss has decided to just hold onto your rightful paycheck that a line has already been crossed and you're a cuck if you don't insist on either a change of their tune or you finding a better arrangement.
Connor Lee
Why the hell this is in Yas Forums and not in /adv/ is beyond me.
Gavin Collins
LOL you opened up to threesomes. Nigga she was fucking guys and you were getting cucked.
This story just gets sadder and sadder. It's not your fault at least, the internet wasn't around to teach you about women I guess.
Noah Howard
I'm curious to know more about what happened to you user. Not that I'm saying what you're doing is wrong or anything, just very different than my approach. I loved hanging out with my, it's the reason I'll miss her so much. We made even the most simplest errands fun. But if I were to remain friends and she wanted to fuck, he'll yeah she'd get the cock. I would in no way just hang out with her if she wasn't putting out. I'd see that as her using me. You seem to have the "Fuck her" attitude towards your ex, and bravo for stopping her with her boring stories, but you don't think it weird to just hang out with her but no sex? And also, she didn't blame me. I blamed myself. I told her I blamed myself. Like I said, I read all the texts and know my actions. She's also telling me she's not worthy and I deserve better. She doesn't forgive herself. I'm sure she likes this guy. New and everything. It hurts like hell, more than her fucking. But I'm just getting my teeth and letting it play out. What else can I do? It's been a week. No contact.
Matthew Torres
I am a piece of shit for that. But alcoholism takes a toll on the other half. And yeah, the few days does say a lot. All I can tell myself is, she was faithful for 10yrs and she's only human, not perfect.
Kayden Wilson
Yeah that's how us men are when we're in love you fucking fool. Women are chaos, men are stability. We're supposed to meet in the middle according to feminism, but you meeting in the middle meant her fucking other men, fuck what you say about threesomes nigga, you were getting cucked with another mans dick in your wife, kissing her lips after she sucked on another man's dick, jesus the fuck is wrong with you?
Really the way it's meant to be is that us men never evolved with the eternal internet in mind, nature favours the genetic selector, so all this shit about women being the weaker sex, that's only physically, really they're the dominant gender. The only difference between hyenas and humans (there's lots I know, Im just making a basic observation) is that the female hyenas have a dick and they're bigger than the males and they run shit, but in humans women are beautiful and they manipulate MEN, in order to get what they want. The end result is the same, it's women running things.
Your bitch just manages to gaslight you and manipulate you into thinking you've done her some sort of wrong. She should be on her knees thanking you for not leaving her out to nature, she's running off with other men, but you already had the best 10 years of her life, what is the next man going to get? Leftovers, and he won't want to marry her. Make sure you don't get back together with her. You had her at her best, she left YOU at her worst, she doesn't deserve you at her worst. And to be fair she was cheating on you at her best in the early years of the relationship anyways.
Ayden Reyes
She forgave because she knew how her alchohol use had been a toll for us for so long. I can guarantee you she wasn't cheating. I knew her location at all times and texts/social media stuff without her knowing. I was always prepared. I even have a Motorcycle she doesn't know about just in case I was feeling peculiar about a situation, I'd drive by. Yes, I'm an odd motherfucker. I can be honest with my b/ros thou.
Jaxon Gomez
It's not mental gymnastics user. All guys handle shit differently. No one way it's right. I'd say the logical way, but that's my opinion. And love isn't logical.
Thomas Taylor
What a faggot. You should hold her hand while she's on the "cock carousel" you disgusting fucking failure.
I'm curious to know why you guys think she's been cheating all this time. I'm telling you guys, that cunt couldn't fart without me knowing. I even knew she watched porn.lol. I told her I trusted her. But in reality, I just knew she wasn't doing shit. I knew about her cheating on me the day off, I saw she went to a parking lot for 20 minutes after work. Then i just requested the snapchat data. Boom, cracked the nut. But y'all are right, I did have her at her best. But that's not the point. She was my best friend. It feels wrong to not want to help her when she's in this mental state.
Kevin Fisher
Me and the chick got together when we were both 27. We aged, I didn't see a wrinkle on her face, I was in love. 4 years later she moves back to her home country, she picks home country over me, I made the mistake of falling in love with a girl who always told me she wanted to be back in her home country. The day we broke up, I saw every wrinkle on her face. Spent two weeks together on a holiday, i don't have animosity to her, she's a good woman, I have animosity for females and their nature, the passive aggressive shit, but I accept hoes are hoes and they act like this. So despite all the bullshit she gave, she's still a good woman, but we were fooling around, I was pleasing her, she got turned on, we were going for awhile, she got off and then she asked if I wanted to cum, and I was permanently turned off to her then. My turn on is the girl enjoying the sex and wanting more, to have to ask me if I wanted to be pleased or to cum was an insult. I didn't throw a fit, I just said nah im good and we chilled, I just lost all sexual attraction to her. I never want to mention it to her, because I know she's getting older, I don't want her once she left me, got no trust in that, but we'd been together a long time and I like her company more now that I don't have to appease her, now that I can just tell her to shut up or piss off, things that I should have said in our relationship with no regards to her feelings, it's so freeing to do so now. Now I even understand this is how it's meant to be with women, no status, just fuck if you like, or get married, but don't believe these women can love us like we can love them.
I was with another girl when I was a young teen, 4 year relationship, she gave me her best but she still cheated ruthlessly. I had short term relationships in between, hookups, escorts, so I got experienced to realise that they're all the same woman. Just slightly different flavours. The patterns of behaviour are almost exactly the same.
