What is a good pet for an alcoholic? All my search results are for recovering alcoholics, but I am NOT recovering...

Are rats better than hamsters?

Just don't feed it shekels after midnight.

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Ive heard that mice have a chamber of a den they use as a toilet. Why do they shit everywhere in my house then?

Because you feed them wherever you idiot. Put the food in one place.

hermit crab. You see it for like 5 minutes every six months and they don't eat much.

What? The little shit run everywhere, they spend hours waking me up gnawing on shit that aint even food.

Pet Rock. When you think about drinking, bash yourself in the head with it.

Do what the FUCK i say and STOP ABUSING YOUR MICE

how functioning are you?

So you feed them in the same place, and they shit all over their own food like always. You need to start making sense fast, bitch. They will eat the faces of other mice that die of respiratory infections before they are even dead, when there is still food around. I seen it cause they start screaming,