What is a good pet for an alcoholic? All my search results are for recovering alcoholics, but I am NOT recovering...

Are rats better than hamsters?

Just don't feed it shekels after midnight.

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Ive heard that mice have a chamber of a den they use as a toilet. Why do they shit everywhere in my house then?

Because you feed them wherever you idiot. Put the food in one place.

hermit crab. You see it for like 5 minutes every six months and they don't eat much.

What? The little shit run everywhere, they spend hours waking me up gnawing on shit that aint even food.

Pet Rock. When you think about drinking, bash yourself in the head with it.

Do what the FUCK i say and STOP ABUSING YOUR MICE

how functioning are you?

So you feed them in the same place, and they shit all over their own food like always. You need to start making sense fast, bitch. They will eat the faces of other mice that die of respiratory infections before they are even dead, when there is still food around. I seen it cause they start screaming,

Enough to hold down a 50 hour /week management job which has become 40 hour /week after corona shit

Female rat will do tricks if you keep them focused. They are very active little scavengers/nesters. Rats practically toilet train themselves although they do 'mark' to varying degrees.
Males will completely chill with you, are typically lower energy and can be trained, in a lesser capacity, to understand basic commands with audio/visual aid.
Get a pair of rats though. They are always happier and better mannered with a brother/sister.

Eat them before they eat your food. I take it all back. Hide the food inside your mouth so you can eat them.
Make some mouse trap that collects them all and chug them down every morning.

I seen that video,of the cat bitch. But I want a mouse pet. Green Mile is my favorite movie. Followed closely buy The Abyss.

A rock

No god damnit this isnt about nofuckin video you god damn normie
Eat the fuckers before they eat all your shit
You think theyre just eating the facea off each other but they are making orc mice warriors to eat all your shit and piss on your face at night
They get in bed with you to pee on your skin to give you fucking hantavirus

But they cute....

reptiles and fish are good, they can go without care when you blackout for a day or two. why not plants? bonsai junipers are easy and make you look cool.

Plants are harder to understand than animals. A sad plant doesn't tell you so till it's wilting and done, and doesn't bounce back for a week+. Sad animal looks sad, tells you it's sad, and gets happy immediately when you feed it.

kek

A rock, you fucking moron. How the hell are you supposed to remember to feed something when you've already spent your panhandling money on vodka?

Or it just fucking dies because the asshole who bought it is an alcoholic and hasn't fed it in weeks.

True...

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