Can people change? I’m 22 and this past winter I let my ego get out of control due to my past of feeling insecure. I compromised my morals and my ethics. However, I’ve also come to an epiphany that I want to change. I wasn’t always an asshole. I became an asshole to not get hurt. Not that I wanna become a nice guy, but I wanna bring a balance to myself. I think I’ve experienced a bit of ego death. I’m taking steps to be a better person for my loved ones and win them back, as well as be a better person for myself. However, I have been googling about changing yourself. Why is it on Reddit, quora, and maybe even on here do people think others can’t change? I’m trying to stay motivated but I keep seeing people say that. I went from being skinny to Yas Forums, I went from non confrontational to being assertive, etc. do you guys think people can change?
Can people change? I’m 22 and this past winter I let my ego get out of control due to my past of feeling insecure...
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Feel your Adam’s Apple through your bum
Ain't nothing gonna stop you from being a boring cunt lol
play russian roulette with yourself
Yes, people can change if they want to. However, it takes time and effort. You've got to repent whenever you act in ways you don't wanna act, and make a habit out of acting well. Jesus and the Bible can help with that, honestly.
People don't change, they only become more what they already are.
Fucking up is what changes you user.
Everyone has dark secrets and times in their lives they arent proud of.
What did you do?
Well I’m not too religious tbh but I hear you. I definitely am going to put a lot of work and time into it. I never thought I’d be as muscular or athletic as I am. I didn’t think I’d get to a point of being as popular as I am. I’m not special but I just know o can take steps into balancing the good parts of my old thoughtful self and my new but now old bad side.
So in my case, would I be actually a good person but had a phase of being bad? Or does this mean I’m simply gonna be more of an asshole because that’s who I was at one point?
You sound like an insufferable cunt.
Yeah of course. You experienced an inflated sense of self worth and it gave too much bravado and arrogance. You're not the first person to do that. It would be an idea to internalize your thoughts and possible actions before letting them out into the world. Try and see all sides of the situation before you act and whilst doing this, understand each side, recognize that people think differently and have different levels of limitation. Don't denigrate others for traits or situations, even if you feel that they're inferior. This will bring you genuine humility
Yeah, people can change, it all depends how fuck up they are. My advice: if you really want tl change, go to see a professional, a therapist, a psychologist, etc, they can show you the path to change, if it possible to do so.
That’s what first motivated me. I know so many people who had this big change in their life later closer to their 30’s, and then changed for the better. I was feeling glad I caught it early but then online I see so much hate. I know I shouldn’t let the internet influence me though
Thanks user, I screenshotted this, I needed to read that. That’s what I’m working on currently. I wanna be aware of what I’m doing, why, etc. I also want to be less aggressive to people for no reason. I’m still always going to stand up for myself but not at the cost of being a cruel person. Thanks again bro
What did you do?
i feel sorry for anyone who has to put up with your shit and your opinions. please sterilize yourself and leave society and become a monk.
Thank you user, I’m currently in therapy for the first time ever and had my first session earlier this week. It was mostly going over what’s happened but I’m hoping to delve deeper eventually. I’m also hopefully gonna be going to couples therapy, as well as family therapy
>went from being skinny to Yas Forums,
>Ego death
Rotflmao.
>Jesus and the Bible can help with that, honestly.
Keep your brainwashing to yourself nerd
>Can people change?
I’m going to have to say no on this one. People can verbally or physically adapt to new situations but after some time when no progress is in affect one will begin to reshape back to their pure self. It all comes down to your desires and beliefs that make you.
>I compromised my morals and my ethics
How?
No worries bro, the fact that you've identified that there's something wrong with your actions means that you're not a bad person and it also means that you're already further along the path to who you want to be than you probably thought. Nobody is infallible, don't be too hard on yourself.
Ooof....nothing like wasting a bunch of money being brainwashed into being "normal"
Everything and everyone is in a constant state of change. It’s impossible to stop. Denying or trying to prevent these changes causes pain.
So yeah, everything can change.
Be more specific about what you've done, coward.
I see your point. So do you think the verbal/physical adaptation was me trying to be a bad boy during my college years (I’m a senior rn) it do you think the adaptation is me currently trying to become good again? Like for example I feel so much better not having that pressure I did to be somebody else because I realized that the things I valued weren’t money or prestige but my family. So is that me going through a phase or me returning to my true self?
Thanks again user, it really means a lot to me what you wrote. I’m trying to focus on that mindset when keeping my motivation in terms of improving. I’m gonna improve regardless but all the cynicism around changing was getting to me. I still feel bad about my family though, that’s why I’m especially focused on this
I’m never gonna be normal, just better
Listen. She won't get back with you user. Stop trying to change yourself to impress her. Just accept whatever it was for whatever it was and move on. You don't need an ego death or to be roided up and obsessed with change to not be a desperate clinger. Changing that will make you a million times better. There are no cheap shortcuts though. Just avoid and focus on new shit
Thanks for the advice user, I know what you mean. And I don’t mean I want to be rounded up, I’ve long since grown out of the I wanna be bigger than Arnold phase of listing. I hear you, I’m trying to be realistic about things and I know my life won’t just magically be sunshine and rainbows. But the bond she and I have is beyond comprehension, we’re soulmates. Idc if that sounds like a simp, it’s true and we’ve always felt that way about eachother. As for my family, they know I’m young and they’re supporting my change, I still wanna make them proud though. You should wanna improve for yourself but improving for those you love is also a good motivator imo
What did you do?
>Can people change?
absolutely
it usually takes a big shock for them to look inwardly but when they do, people can and often do change their whole way of thinking and acting and become a more positive influence in others lives
i'm not talking about fake bullshit like going to a confessional and bam all your sins are gone and you're reborn so innocent. i'm talking about dwelling on and thinking about and understanding that you have done bad things and that you are a shit head. accepting the guilt. once you've understood, accepted the guilt and come to terms with your failings you find it very easy, natural even, to be and do the opposite of every one of those things.
everyone is a cunt for a period, some people can and do change and some pretend to. if you can be one of those who does then that's great. the shitty part is that nobody you've ever hurt in the past will truly believe you have only good intentions towards them for the future, some things will always be stained or at least for a long time until they see you're genuinely different.
>So is that me going through a phase or me returning to my true self?
In due time you’ll eventually find out.
Again no worries bro, just remember that you were determined enough to improve yourself (to whatever end: Yas Forums etc.) so if you have the determination to change yourself in these ways, then you'll have no problem in doing it. Take care and go well my man
From what I can ascertain, you're so ashamed by your actions that you won't even specifically admit to them here, anonymously. You know that if you do, you won't get pats on the back and positivity. If you can't do that, here, therapy won't help you, and you'll always be a piece of garbage.
The Beatles suck and so do you
Improving for those you love, and who love you, is one thing
Improving for yourself is another
Improving in the hopes of winning someone back is a losing game though.
Because when you realise your efforts have been wasted you'll go into self destructive mode to punish yourself for being naive.
youtube.com
Just be generally kind to other people
try to be empathetic, not pittying, and think about other people more
you can do this without becoming a niceguy, caring for other people is not a weakness. You can still be assertive if you want: Don't give a shit about what others think about you, but give a shit about others.