Why this bitch had to bit the apple?

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because it's a very old jew fable that gullible people believe

(Part 1/2)
>Apple
Name a verse describing an apple. (Here is a hint: You can't.)

>Talking Snake
There is no indication that the Serpent was an actual snake. This description is more metaphorical. The word "serpent" is used to describe wicked people in the Bible. This can be seen where Jesus said “Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.” - Matthew 10:16

You'll note that Jesus called wicked men both wolves and serpents. Is he talking about literal beasts and animals here? Clearly not. So, we can very obviously see that the Bible uses the nature of animals to describe the behaviour of persons. You'll recognize in Revelation it says
“And the great dragon was cast out, that old serpent, called the Devil, and Satan, which deceiveth the whole world: he was cast out into the earth, and his angels were cast out with him.” - Revelation 12:9
Yet again we see Satan here referred to by several names. "The Great Dragon", that "Old Serpent", called "the Devil" and "Satan". But gee, I thought Satan was an Angel considering how he is described in other places in the Bible?

“Son of man, take up a lamentation upon the king of Tyrus, and say unto him, Thus saith the Lord GOD; Thou sealest up the sum, full of wisdom, and perfect in beauty. Thou hast been in Eden the garden of God; every precious stone was thy covering, the sardius, topaz, and the diamond, the beryl, the onyx, and the jasper, the sapphire, the emerald, and the carbuncle, and gold: the workmanship of thy tabrets and of thy pipes was prepared in thee in the day that thou wast created. Thou art the anointed cherub that covereth; and I have set thee so: thou wast upon the holy mountain of God; thou hast walked up and down in the midst of the stones of fire. Thou wast perfect in thy ways from the day that thou wast created, till iniquity was found in thee.” - Ezekiel 28:12-15

That shit is a myth if there ever was one

(Part 2/2)
“By the multitude of thy merchandise they have filled the midst of thee with violence, and thou hast sinned: therefore I will cast thee as profane out of the mountain of God: and I will destroy thee, O covering cherub, from the midst of the stones of fire.” - Ezekiel 28:16

These verses in Ezekiel are describing a "Cherub" (which is a winged Angel) who "Was in the Garden of Eden", and he is described as being "Perfect in thy ways until the day iniquity and evil was found in thee." So, this Angel was in the Garden of Eden in the beginning (like Satan), and he was glorious and beautiful (like Satan), and evil was found in his heart (like Satan). Gee you know, I wonder who this Angel might be... And if Satan is an Angel, a Cherub, then how is he ALSO called a Dragon and a Serpent? Unless of course these are words used metaphorically to describe his crafty and deceptive nature.

The issue is that most people who read the Bible seem to read it with beer goggles on. They can't tell when it is using metaphorical language and when it is being literal.

>The Serpent
>Lucifer
>Satan
>The Devil
>The Anti-Christ

Are those all the same dude? Or is it 5 different guys, like the Joker, Penguin, Riddler etc?

Get your damn scriptures right. Eve could eat the apple. God commanded MAN/HIM not to eat from the tree of knowledge and said nothing more. Man fucked up. Genesis 2:16

you need to read less

Everyone calls him Lucifer. In the Hebrew tongue, he is called Helel. Satan is the Devil. The Devil and Satan are the Dragon. The Devil, the Dragon and Satan are the Serpent. They are all the same person. The Anti-Christ is a man. He is not an Angel. The Bible actually literally straight up says this about the Anti-Christ. “Here is wisdom. Let him that hath understanding count the number of the beast: for it is the number of a man; and his number is Six hundred threescore and six.” - Revelation 13:18

"For it is the number of A MAN." The Anto-Christ is supposed to be just that: The ANTI----CHRIST. Jesus is said to be a Man, correct? He is called the Son of God. He is called the Image of God. "God in the Flesh" essentially. Well the Anti-Christ is his "Negative Version". Like an evil Superman. You understand?

Because you touch yourself at night.

Because Satan is a deceiver.

If I didn't study my Bible, Atheists would go on thinking they know something they don't. They would carry on "smashing Christians" in debate. Well I AM NOT that Christian. I've gone back and forth for HOURS with Atheists. I am not a Christian who will just let you think you understand when I have proven time and again that Atheists DON'T understand.

Jesus raises more questions than he answers

What were the limits of Jesus's abilities?

If he never met with accident or disease, could he live forever?
Why did he have to be close to someone to heal them? Why didn't he just wipe leprosy off the Earth for example?

Why didn't he use his abilities to escape his predicament? Walk through walls, become incorporeal, turn iron nails to mercury?

What was the limit of his ability to generate mater?
Could he duplicate the Earth if he tried?

If he had the knowledge of the universe at his fingertips, why couldn't he read or write?

Why didn't he leave behind any scientific knowledge - what bacteria is, where the sun goes at night, a clean source of energy?

those are all irrelevant questions

It made a good story.

(Part 1/2)
>What were the limits of Jesus's abilities?
There are no limits to his abilities. He is the Son of God.

>Why did he have to be close to someone to heal them?

He didn't.
“And Jesus saith unto him, I will come and heal him. The centurion answered and said, Lord, I am not worthy that thou shouldest come under my roof: but speak the word only, and my servant shall be healed. For I am a man under authority, having soldiers under me: and I say to this man, Go, and he goeth; and to another, Come, and he cometh; and to my servant, Do this, and he doeth it. When Jesus heard it, he marvelled, and said to them that followed, Verily I say unto you, I have not found so great faith, no, not in Israel. And I say unto you, That many shall come from the east and west, and shall sit down with Abraham, and Isaac, and Jacob, in the kingdom of heaven. But the children of the kingdom shall be cast out into outer darkness: there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth. And Jesus said unto the centurion, Go thy way; and as thou hast believed, so be it done unto thee. And his servant was healed in the selfsame hour.” - Matthew 8:7-13

The guy who asked him to heal a man told him "I trust that if you simply say it, it will be done." And Jesus said "Go thy way. He is healed." Right there it describes Jesus healing a man without ever meeting him, touching him, or being even remotely close to him.

>Why didn't he use his abilities to escape his predicament?

You know, the Jews asked the same question when they were watching him suffer on the cross.
“And the people stood beholding. And the rulers also with them derided him, saying, He saved others; let him save himself, if he be Christ, the chosen of God.” - Luke 23:35

You don't understand. His crucifixion was the way it had to be. Not because he couldn't have avoided it, but because it was the only way to accomplish his mission.

they aren't; they're just too uncomfortable for you to consider

(Part 2/2)
>If he had the knowledge of the universe at his fingertips, why couldn't he read or write?

Where are you getting this info from? It's clear you've never read the Bible. And if you did, you didn't pay attention at all.

“This they said, tempting him, that they might have to accuse him. But Jesus stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground, as though he heard them not.” - John 8:6

This verse just said that Jesus was writing on the ground with his finger. I'll quote another where it clearly says he read from the Jewish scriptures.

“And he came to Nazareth, where he had been brought up: and, as his custom was, he went into the synagogue on the sabbath day, and stood up for to read. And there was delivered unto him the book of the prophet Esaias. And when he had opened the book, he found the place where it was written, The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised, To preach the acceptable year of the Lord. And he closed the book, and he gave it again to the minister, and sat down. And the eyes of all them that were in the synagogue were fastened on him. And he began to say unto them, This day is this scripture fulfilled in your ears. And all bare him witness, and wondered at the gracious words which proceeded out of his mouth. And they said, Is not this Joseph's son?” - Luke 4:16-22

>She was tripping balls talking to a snake, I think biting an apple is really overblown
Dis.
Biting an apple when your not supposed to seems like a petty crime compared to tripping your tits off with your snakefriend while your boyfriend makes up names for animals and your God has a snooze.

Or it never happened because it's just a story.
Just sayin.

>Real christians talk for hours because muh scripture
You can make the bible mean anything you want it to mean. It's all stories, no actual names, dates, or places that can be corroborrated by any other texts. Any points you try to make are just fanfiction.

What you have just typed is false. The fact of the matter is, it wouldn't matter if you watched Jesus walk on water with your own eyes. You still wouldn't believe. Jesus could heal the blind before your very eyes, and you wouldn't believe. How do I know? Because the Bible consistently says that those who watched him still had doubts. I can list several verses where people doubted him, even in the face of all of the miracles he did. Why did Peter start sinking beneath the waves when he tried approaching Christ on the sea? Because he had no faith. He was literally watching Jesus walk on water and didn't trust that it was true. Thomas was told that Christ rose from the dead nad he refused to believe.
“The other disciples therefore said unto him, We have seen the Lord. But he said unto them, Except I shall see in his hands the print of the nails, and put my finger into the print of the nails, and thrust my hand into his side, I will not believe.” - John 20:25

Thomas said "Unless I can shove my finger into the open holes in his palms and stick my hand in his side where they pierced him with a spear, I will not believe."

The disciples were men like you and me. When they heard of miracles like raising from the dead, they thought "No... Come on..." Thomas watched his crucifixion. He saw how horribly Jesus died. He watched him die and lay in a tomb for 3 days. You think he was going to simply buy that Jesus just up and walked from that? Clearly he didn't. Thomas said "Let me see him for myself! THEN and only then will I believe!"

The disciples and the Apostles all had their doubts here and there. But when Christ showed them that he really rose from the dead, and he ascended into Heaven, and did things they simply could not ignore, they kept those things in their hearts. And we have those words today. What benefit would it serve them to preach these stories? Throughout history Christians have suffered persecution.

(Part 2)
In Rome they were fed to lions for entertainment.
In Israel they were threatened with beatings, imprisonment, and death (the Jews still had blasphemy laws). Why on Earth would these religious Jews (some of which were newly converted Pharisees, like Paul) go out and relentlessly preach the words and testimony of this Yeshua, Jesus the Christ? It was a DEATH SENTENCE and the end of their social status at the VERY least. I'll tell you why. They preached it without fear because they earnestly and sincerely believed it. Just like I believe it today. Call it what you will. I don't care.