We do

We do.

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I keep the metric system down

I'm a guy, and I like girls.

Ask me anything.

I keep the Martians under wraps.

I have a really sexy 27 year old girlfriend who adores me. And I love her. But I still miss my 34 year old ex and call her regularly from throw away phone numbers just to be silent and hear her voice.

creepy

imgur.com/2kd7MWJ
1

That’s creepy, pelaverga. Stop it, or I will call the police.

once when I was 13-14 my sister brought a friend over who had decently big tits, they slept on the couch in the living room and after a couple hours I peeked around the corner and jerked off to her

>be me, 12 years ago
>crush on co-worker
>at work party at someone’s house
>go to bathroom for piss
>put seat back down when done
>always make sure it’s clean
>open door, crush waiting to use bathroom
>she goes in, I wait
>2 mins later I hear a flush and she exits
>go back in and see it
>on the white toilet seat, one single pubic hair
>put finger on it, it sticks
>put finger in mouth

TL;DR got to eat my crushes pubic hair

Pelaverga detected.

I internet stalk an ugly scene girl wannabe hoping she starts selling nudes again

Cancer detected

I have masturbated so much, that my penis has adapted a gradual penile curve. This is what happen when you go off the deep end.

Sad fucking man lol

>We ha sec all ve rets
What the fuck does that even mean?

Are you 14?

It means you have autism

It means that you are gay.

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I drink lemonade from time to time. Feels a relief to get that out in the open

I would do the same thing every day after school whenever my sis would bring her hot friends over. I didn't have visual contact of her I'd just opened her fb page and jerk off while listening to her in the other room picturing all sorts of things. I stopped when my fantasies started including my sister and her together

HOUSE WIFE FIRE SAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Tell us everything about it.

Do your parents know?

When I was 15 I was aggressively raped by a German shepherd

One day when I was like 16 I woke up with a raging boner, hadn't managed to cum the day before or the day before that for several different reasons. First of all computer was in my brothers room and those two days he happened to come home from college earlier than expected so I didn't get to rub one out. Second, mom kept interrupting me with chore and errand requests.

So I get up horny af, still dizzy from sleeping not thinking straight. And since we live in one of those families were privacy is something foreign, we were used to peeing and pooping with the toilet door open. Mom had a knack for passing by or entering the toilet to grab stuff at the worst possible time, while somebody's already using it. That day was not an exception, I was used to that happening all the time and when i heard her approaching I'd just quickly sit on the toilet and pee like that trying to conceal my morning wood.

But that day I was so frustrated, mind still hazy from sleeping so even though I noticed mom approaching I kept standing there pants down hand wrapped around my dick, giving it a few occasional tugs, not doing anything to hide my boner. When she finally reached the toilets door started asking me if I had any unwashed clothes in my hamber when she finally lifted her head up she noticed and gasped, I mindlessly turned around to answer her question properly flashing her my boner, my hand still wrapped around it making it seem like I was jerking off.
Mom just mumbled something like "it seems you have better thing to do" or smth of that sort and turning completely red she then left closing the door behind her. And that's how we as a family learned that doors are actually useful.

Kek

pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph5e84be813b8fa&pkey=144418291

Subject #1 up for sale, is a compulsive nymphomanic, has ADHD, low tier reading comprehension. Is irresponsible like all hel. Not going to lie, her family is thrash. Incest. Domestic abuse. Alcoholism. All familiar to her. Keeping the house clean, responsibility and respect, is not.

So, you might get her to clean the toilet with her tongue if you call it a "sex thing", but she won't be cleaning the house. We tried, but she started scrubbing the pots on the kitchen and started moaning because she said it made her feel "dirty" and couldn't get enough of it. She stood their scrubbing the same pan for 30 minutes while panitng.

We do not guarantee that she won't cut your balls off in the middle of the night, but we also don't promise that she won't accuse of rape falsely if you threaten to break up with her.

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dang, that was when things started to get interesting...

31, M here.
I’ve been fantasizing lately that one or multiple men approach me in the middle of the night as I am outside smoking a cigarette and force me to give them head and then leave me there. I’ve also been fantasizing a lot about the same thing happening as I’m laying in bed.

Though it’s public information, besides her family, know one in my wife’s life know she’s a sex offender.

I’m always wanking over my mates bird she nearly caught me with the deepnudes of her once

what has she done?

>pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph5ac9424f0c1e6&pkey=144418291

This slut is another nymphomaniac. A masochist. Will feel sexually excited if you beat her with a broom handle.

Sad news for you, this one is smart. And manipulative like all hell. So, like with most sluts, they will use their assets against you.

Eerrr, her absent father didn't teach her respect for men, we tried stuffing her of cock to teach her, and she taught herself how to fake misery and obedience while indulging herself in a cock stuffing.

This one is actually pretty clean. A decent cook. Health nut freak....

...but.... she will never respect you. Not going to lie, you will need to borderline felony assault the bitch to squeeze out a drop of respect for men.

Grrrr, we are sad to let her go, without giving her a boot to that daisy duke, ass cheek short wearing slut ass bottom of her, but we will leave that for you to do if you hand over an aluminum can top opener top lid thinging and a half full, opened bottle of water.

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I don't even blame you friend

Sexual offenses, mostly.

well, duh...