TLDR: I'm tired of opening up and getting punished for being unhappy, debating going mute, eventually roping myself if things don't get better if I put the effort in.
I've been thinking about becoming selectively mute recently, or just stop talking in general.
Every time I open up to people I'm always the one paying the price for it. From my parents blaming me for school stress and calling me a pussy, to my only girlfriend leaving me after two weeks when I talk to her about what I've been through, to even my friends leaving when I need them and I try to get therapy or some kind of help, everyone wants me to keep this façade up. Now that it's all shattering there's really no reason for me to talk to anyone. My social life now is basically just messaging people anyways, and I always respond to those fake "are you okay what's wrong" with a flat, passive-aggressive "I'm fine", which seems to shut them up or satisfy them because they don't really care. I'd actually try to talk if they do but they really just don't want to look like jackasses and don't listen to me. Serves me right for having jackass friends I guess, but it'd be nice to have someone actually care.
It's /every fucking time/ too, and every time I convince myself to try, it just gets worse. I really don't see a point, might disappear and rope if things don't get better in therapy. If I ever get to go.
>I've been thinking about becoming selectively mute recently selective mutism is a condition, user. its like saying 'I've been thinking about becoming ptsd'
Protip: the best way to keep quiet is by filling that mouth consistently with dick
Noah Hernandez
Just off yourself. Didn't ready your post
Hudson Gutierrez
Sup OP
Planning to cliff myself ASAP
People are evil; they say never to enter an enclosure with chimps because they're too aggressive, and it turns out people are the same. I don't know what it is, but there's something in humanity that when they see someone down on their luck, the instinct is to try and break them, as though it would somehow further their own interests. We live in a state that rewards sociopathic behaviour, and goes so far as to protect it with 'rules' and 'systems' that seem to only serve those with a manipulation on them. The distinct lack of closeness, or infact, the possibility of closeness, is what will urge me to cliff myself. I have no words to help you, because I have no way of telling you a way to get better.
Zachary Jones
Don't you think there are other people out there trying to be good? Find those people and be friends with them.
David Diaz
you sound like an emo faggot, do the world a favor and just do it
Zachary Adams
Nope, because all too often being good is conflated with self righteousness. I've found church people to be the worst for justifying their shitty and manipulative behaviour because 'IF GOD DIN'T WANT ME TO DO IT'... People will wreck others if they think they're doing the right thing, even without any sort of proof.
John Smith
People are horrible, look to this website for evidence. Cut toxic people out of your life, does wonders.
Carter Butler
Good is relative.
Adam Torres
This. Just make sure you post the streaming link here.
Robert Rogers
9/10 times if everyone you meet is a jackass, remember you're the common denominator.
Other people aren't your therapist. They're not a substitute for getting professional help. Not even your family and friends. It is one thing to vent once in awhile--yeah friends and family can help with that. It's another thing to be a ceaseless drain on everyone's good time. People like onions in their food. That doesn't mean they want to take a big old bite out of an entire onion, capiche? Small bits. Open up in small bits.
It's that old adage: misery loves company. There's nothing wrong with a little commiserating. There is something wrong when you want everyone to always be depressed with you. Help elevate yourself up by elevating other people. Form partnerships.
Lincoln Thompson
Theres the possibility of being too negative. You likely have a way in which you conduct/express yourself that pushes others away. This can be fixed with self reflection or therapy. You also sound depressed, and should consider you may be reading into things you shouldn’t. Individuals with depression and other mental disorders can do that. Again, seek therapy. You may also be justified in some of your feelings. There is possibility it is as you say and everyone around you should eat shit.
I’m just some user on the Internet. I can’t say anything that’ll make it better, but I’m sorry your life is shit. Try to get some 3rd party help that isn’t a bunch of anons. If you can’t then get a hobby until you can. Either way, you won’t really get much help here.
James Kelly
If all but not for you I would have perished to Death sought you as did me To find a fortitude beyond others This must be the way, lest you fall To go about your solitude To hone yourself into something sharper You need not my words For you have yours Now go and rise I cannot elevate you any higher
Dylan Phillips
This whole common denominator ideology is fallacious pack mentality; pack mentality is an instigator of group ostracisation and bullying. You can even see it in various group animals. If one is shown to be weak, it becomes a self-fulfilled prophecy that the others will gang up on it in overwhelming odds.
One chicken gets pecked by one and isn't strong enough to fight back. Suddenly it's pecked to death by 10. Doesn't matter if there's a real fault with that chicken, just that the pack turned on it.
Bentley Hernandez
You're allowed to be unhappy as am I for them being down there's not a part of life only you can accomplish one thing that matters then fuck'm
Kayden Allen
horrible things have been done in the name of good. my cousins beat the shit out of me every week for almost a years worth of summers because it'd "tough him up" and "be good for him". fuck "good" people. At least criminals are honest about what they'll do to you.
Well, the thing about 'opening up' to other people, is that OP is right they don't want to be opened up to; what they want is a dopamine fill. What they want, is not to have any impact on your problems, not to support you.. no. What they want, in all truth, is for you to turn around and thank them for noticing you're not doing well. They want the gratitude of noticing without the burden of responsibility. It's grotesque face saving. 'Good', means 'socially amiable', and this has been further demonstrated in issues like the halo effect where attractive people are judged to be better than unattractive people, because looking good is socially valuable.
Society is worthless.
Jack Hughes
Life is unfair, bullshit on the same or greater magnitude than this will occur. Its like climbing a mountain. There's gonna be steep slopes, vertical walls. Waiting for you, is the peak. What do you do when you made it there? You go back down. And when your done with that? Feel good, you just climbed a mountain.
Chase Walker
You can't say you are fine and then be mad that they don't continue to press the fact of if you are okay or not. But hey what do you have to be sad at anyways?
Elijah Peterson
and then have the audacity to act surprised when people neck themselves after being shot down constantly. makes me fucking sick.
Isaac Moore
These rules are never explained to us, and it's not until we're adults that we notice them. As the value of men decreases, as they masculinise and become 'less cute', and thus perceived as less valuable, therein creates the dichotomy between 'alphas and betas' that we often observe talked about. See when we're growing up, we're taught that being nice, working hard, and doing well on tests is what matters. We have this agenda of 'ugly doesn't matter!' pushed in our faces, and we become indoctrinated into that, it becomes staple in our beliefs. So when you have someone who is not perceived as socially valuable, in spite of working hard, or being nice, or doing well at their job, there comes this realisation that our actions are not having a bearing on where we stand. We are stuck in spite of everything that *should*, by all accounts of our upbringings, work to change our station in life.
The bottom line is, you either have enough people on your side to fight your corner, or you're fucked. Because social power isn't negotiated anymore. Nobody needs anybody. Everybody is 'self sufficient', everyone has shelter, and warmth, and food. Everyone is dispensable, and therefore, those without socially lucrative aspects (such as being attractive or popular) are what determine your station.
It's all pretty gross and duplicitous, and I think it's why many young men grow up to feel utterly robbed.
Oliver James
1. I said 9/10 for a reason because, yeah, there's a nugget of truth to what you're saying. The majority can be wrong and the minority can be right.
2. But the rest of what you said is just grade A horseshit. It's not an ideology. It's a principle. It is on thing if you're just having a hard go of it at school. But should you leave the state, go to a different school with a brand new pool of people and yet you're still having a hard go of it? Get a new job in that new state and that new pool of people still hates your guts?
Time to do some fucking introspection. Drop the ego. Stop being a narcissist.
3. Also, pro-tip: Most normal people are just out to have a good time. They're nothing thinking about "dominance." If that's what your mind is preoccupied with when you leave your basement? Well no fucking wonder you're struggling.
>Get a new job in that new state and that new pool of people still hates your guts? >Most normal people are just out to have a good time. They're nothing thinking about "dominance." Oh, they are, but trust me, in every sect of people there lies maybe one or two that will do anything that tear down anyone or anything they dislike. See, all it takes is for one purpose to have a grudge, to then start a rumour mill, and then to socially engineer you into oblivion to have you fucked over. And honestly in most cases, that's not found on rationale, it's founded on a deep inferiority complex, which makes that relationship impossible to repair and prevent. You can call it horseshit, but we're really not that far above animals - some people are just monsters. You can chalk it up whatever which way, but at the end of the day, people will follow the trail of power.
Zimbardo is a nice case in point. A bunch of students treated each other like total fucking shit because a professor would give them credits for it. The most notorious was just trying to play up the role of a prison warden. All it takes is one monster to fuck your life over, and for enough people to either ignore you for fear of becoming the next target, or not caring enough to stand up for you.
Lucas King
Like I'd let you fucking nigger loving faggots get the satisfaction. Fuck off, sadistic coomer assbag.
Caleb Fisher
Check it out guy, if people dont like what you have to say, fuck 'em. If people talk over you, TALK LOUDER and let them know that its rude to talk over someone who was already speaking. If they dont like you, fuck 'em. I've had the same set of friends for 15 years. I made those friends by being as true to who I am as possible and the people that stuck around, I seemed trustworthy. Dont change yourself for anybody. If they dont like who you are, they can get fukt. Be you even if it sucks because trust me, it sucks more pretending to be someone else. >TLDR: fuck the haters.
Adrian Campbell
That's what I've been trying to do. Mind you I'm not a whiney piece of shit all the time, it's very far and in between, but every time I get shut down. I'm self aware to know when it's too much. But I can't even scratch the surface before people scatter.
Jaxson Ross
Dude i barely talk too. I mean i used to do drugs alot and think i was doing them out of henduism and hatred. Like i really couldn't handle or despised my peers. I didn't and i do miss highschool friends. I still stay quiet cause people's lack of concern and consideration is troubling. Their lack of depth for end game is startling and they claim everyone detaches themselves from their identities but it's almost like they've never realized how fragile and short our world is. I can't say it gets better but my main thing is i haven't been able to work and being that what i have to offer in personality seems to turn people off. I've felt useless that the past two ex's in the year and that all my friends have been slowly seeming less interested or repulsed by me. Along with feeling useless about employment. I keep thinking i'm a burden and things are gonna fall apart and that i shouldn't be here cause i'm only hurting people. But things are working out and eventually they can get better. My point is their's still hope and i hope everything you're looking for finds you.
Jason Robinson
stop being so dramatic, life goes on , everything gets better, there is always something new to do around the corner.. seriously,, stop thinking about the past AND MOVE FORRRWAAAARRRRRDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THATS HOW YOU BEAT DEPRESSiON
Owen Ortiz
Well fucking hell, there's your problem. You're too paranoid about non-existent cloak and dagger bullshit. Instead of being obsessed with maybe getting fucked over get interested in getting laid, champ.
Nicholas Richardson
Get a therapist. Get it out of your system. So when you do go back into normal society you can vent about far more mundane things.
Chase Allen
Can I just say that I have told them what was wrong before. Usually they tell me to grow up or that they've had it worse so my story isn't as near as valid as thiers.
It's just easier to say I'm fine even if it's clearly lying because they have no real incentive and they can't use that against me.
Mason Roberts
>You're too paranoid about non-existent cloak and dagger bullshit. If only it were non-existent.
Christian Rodriguez
Thanks, I really appreciate it. Hope things get better for you too.
Leo Bell
I don't know how else to explain it to you other than PIs exist and even they have to get paid to care enough to track you down, take a note of every shit you take, and then pass it off to someone else trying to fuck your shit.
You're just not that special at the end of the day. Your average person is far too wrapped up in their internal monologue to notice little ol' you, let alone go out of their fucking way to dick you over for literally no reason.
Even when you do shit the bed, most people are satisfied enough to just yell at you for a bit before telling you to piss off.
Well if your issues aren't that "bad" just find a hobby and improve upon yourself. Do shit you may not like, and im not sure if you are in HS but join some clubs and shit ti get you out the house and give you some meaning. Just don't turn to drugs and be a sad fag who hates the world for no reason. Oh and listen to rap music. It might sound wierd but its a fun/hype genre that does nothing but makes you feel better. Thats what worked for me. I just snapped myself out of it. Its the only way nigga.
Jason Garcia
It'd be nice if I could afford it, wouldn't it?
Jeremiah Long
>I don't know how else to explain it to you other than PIs exist and even they have to get paid to care enough to track you down, take a note of every shit you take, and then pass it off to someone else trying to fuck your shit. I never said they followed my every move, jesus. It's more like, people refusing to do their duties, then blaming it on you, and then dropping half conversations to make you look bad.
My last instance of it, I was constructively dismissed from a work place; the higher ups refused to do their end of the paperwork, repeatedly called me in for disciplinary hearings over it (so much so I didn't have time to do my work, and grew increasingly annoyed with taking 3 hours of work home because they'd waste 3 hours of each of my day with these hearings), and then used that as an excuse to get rid of me. There's nothing hyperbolic about this. People do this kind of shit all the time.
Robert Foster
not OP, but >non-existant cloak and dagger bullshit i had to move 2 states away and go from manufacturing to catering to try and avoid some whore constantly fucking my job prospects because i threw her water bottle away once. It failed, and unless i start sucking dick, i'll be denied a 5th raise at my next review because of a $.50 plastic bottle of water.
Xavier Barnes
have you ever tried thinking about something other than yourself? go find something to do and stop whinging faggot no one has time for this bullshit
Jayden Reyes
I already do, I'm a digital artist and I'm currently writing something that I'm debating on making into a web comic or a graphic novel, and I do listen to rap a lot. You're right about it making you feel better, it's just not enough personally.
I'm glad you got through it though, hopefully I can pull out of this. It's just a vicious cycle and I always relapse.
I'm currently a bitter sadfag but I don't want to be, and I've never wanted to use drugs surprisingly-
