Assuming any of this is real...
Trans woman here, been full time for a couple years.
You should talk to a therapist. You're currently on a career path where being trans is explicitly forbidden (right now). You may be in a position where you need to choose between that career and transitioning, unfortunately (or at least putting that career on hold). You will need to sort how you feel about those two options.
Either you have a crossdressing fetish, or more likely, this is a product of chronic depression/anxiety. Do whatever you can to increase your testosterone levels. Ditch alcohol, start doing exercise, maintain a healthy diet - start working towards self-improvement. Testosterone is one hell of a drug; you will feel more confident, gain better bone density and muscle mass - all benefits for your military career.
Whatever you do, do not fall for the tranny meme. it will only increase your suicidal tendencies tenfold once you "transition" and inevitably realize that nothing will ever be enough to make the "gender dysphoria" go away.
This is real. I am worried that if I talk to a therapist, the military will find out and boot me. I just want to live my life normally as a girl. I don't want all the nonsense, but I feel like dying as my life is now. I know I need to choose, but that too fucking hard for me. I don't know where to even start. I don't know what my school will do to me. I am so unsure that its bleeding into my regular life. I am lost and feel fucked. Im too embarrassed and scared to talk to anyone.
I mean the words that I say, yet a nonbeliever can not decipher them, even in his own language.
Mars will not grant you any blessing or any guidance.
You have forsaken him, offended him, attacked him.
The Greeks were weak, so they were dominated, subjugated, their culture absorbed. They are nothing, as are all nonbelievers.
You will not venture far in any career, you will die young as do all of the faithless.
I am a missionary, a priest, a prophet of him.
You are nothing and you will die.
A Field of Mars will be declared and your blood will feed the sacred Earth gifted to us by him.
and how would I change that?
Die
why aren't we both just advanced, nearly hairless, primates?
Post picture of you dressing, and of your mom.
You're in distress. The proper move is to talk to a therapist.
No reputable therapist will disclose to anyone *what* you talked about. It's easy enough for you to lie and say it was for something mundane.