How do you make my internet worse...

Wherever you left her

I assume you mean 1Mb/s, with a big M for "mega", meaning 10^6, and not 1mb/s with a small m for "milli", meaning 10^-3.
Also fuck me, 1Mb/s is literally my internet speed.

evil mastermind

where the fuck do you get this shit? i somehow doubt this is even real.

there was a poster in r9k or b who used to remove limbs in photoshop for some reason

Why do you lock your own doors?

rumor is, that is literally a thing, and supposedly you can purchase to your taste.

i would unironically buy that toy for myself

i wanna fuck that nugget

Modern fleshlights are so advanced.