Greentext thread

>Be me
>15yo betafag
>Meet a qt3.14 Stacy
>Start spending a LOT of time together
>Basically just watch TV and play Super Nintendo together (Yeah, it was that long ago)
>Been "dating" a few months, go to her house after school
>Looks like nobody's home
>Go to her room
>About to fire up Zelda when she suddenly starts stripping
>hellowhatsthis.png
>REALLY restricted childhood so this is literally the first time I've even seen a girl naked
>She asks if I want to play another game instead
>YES PLEASE!
>She lays out on her bed and tells me to strip and lay on top of her
>Do so
>Not sure how to sex, end up grinding my shaft against her pussy
>Eventually find the opening
>Both virgins so she's SUPER tight... dick doesn't want to go in
>Kind of scared to push any harder
>Hear a door slam somewhere, butthole clenches
>Feel a pop as my cock slips in... Stacy grunts
>Feels incredible, but I'm worried it hurt Stacy
>Suddenly hear someone stomping through the house!
>A wild Stacy's mom appears with a basket full of laundry, spots my bare ass on her daughter
>"GOD DAMMIT STACY!" she yells
>Drops the basket and backs out of the room at eighty-eight miles per hour
>Sit up and pull dick out
>Stacy uses her finger to check herself
>"Stacy, honey? Are you using a condom?" her mom says through the door
>...
>"I forgot." Stacy replies
>Hear a string of profanities moving down the hall and coming back
>Door cracks open and a pack of condoms flies through and hits me
>Awkward silence
>"Is everything ...going ...ok?" Stacy's mom asks through the door
>"It hurt a little." she replies
>Deep sigh from hall
>"Any blood?"
>"No."
>More profanities going down the hall and coming back, door opens a crack and a bottle of lube flies in
>"Use this on your vagina, and make HIM put on a condom"
>MFW hear her dad snort-laughing down the hall

Stacy's mom taught me how to have sex.
NOT as hot as the song would have us believe

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Anyone have the tale of Jessica?

I feel like I need a happy-cry.

elaborate a little more and i might remember

Was there when this was posted, was a great thread

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Fat user is depressed. meets a blind girl. they date and he stops being a human trash-bag.

Sounds familiar but don't have sorry

>be me
>chinese
>feel really bad about eating bat soup now
>have cough and fever
>must keep working at McDonald’s to support myself
>try desperately not to cough at work
>when I do people look disgusted at me
>feelsbad.exe

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YES! THIS!

reading... gonna bawl my eyes out, but it's the best thing I've ever read! I really wish it was real.

The one above with the happy frog. it's WELL worth adding to your collection!

>What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

From what I understand it was, he was getting married the next day and he made a followup post since it blew it during the honeymoon

FUCK YEAH! anyone have the followup?

I don't know why, but that just makes me feel really good. like my life actually has a chance to not suck at some point.

someone post dolphin fucker for people to enjoy, i have it but it's not titled so it'd take hours to find

this one?

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lol no actually, the one im thinking of is very long and i think this one is fake

>haha

holy shit totally teared up

Anyone with holywood connections? they need to make this into a movie. I would pay real money to watch this.

I'd pirate it too! but I would actually pay for a ticket.

my friend's parents have a film company, though it's a Christian studio I can definitely see this made for those religionfags

NO! no jesusfags. they'd ruin the message.

that's the thing that pisses me off about religion. they think they have the market on morals cornered. Like you can't be a good person without jesus.

>yes
>>no
>>>testing

The Story of Button, the greatest green thread ever, needed a whole website to contain it's greatness
thestoryofbutton.wordpress.com
thestoryofbutton.wordpress.com/

>be me
>comeing home
>drive over speed bump
>its screams
>reverse back because i am a good boy
>arrested
>pic not related

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>be me
>AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
>feel better after venting out for once
>life is good
>ohshit.jfif
>gotta finish studying economics for the day
>nicely planned schedule died several days ago
>fuck my life I hate everything
>jerk off to bdsm hentai music video
>life is good

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