My friend basically told me I was a loser and didn't want me to hang around him and that everyone in our group felt the...

pop some percs and xans with adderall
better to die from addiction

Why don’t you approach them all at once about it. Sure your one friend said that but who knows if they all feel the same way. You might even get some respect if you confront them and ask if it’s true. And if it is true ask them why they don’t want to hang with you. Either way you’ll have some peace of mind

I don't know, I get the sense that I just annoy people, I try so hard to be like them but the truth is written across my face the whole time. Desperation, loneliness, self pity. I feel like people smell it on me like a bad cologne.

"Dude fuck off, you're not fucking funny, nobody fucking likes you "

something like that or that's how it felt

Stop trying to be funny then.
What did you say to receive that kinda reaction?

it's humiliating, I don't think that little of myself that I'll stoop to that or begging them to let me back in. I feel like we can never be friends again and that would be fine if I had anyone else or could trust anyone else.

>I try so hard to be like them
There’s your problem. Be (You)

I don't know if I've ever had a real friend. I feel like I've never been in a relationship that I wasn't putting all the effort in.

everybody in the world hates you. may as well neck

So, you feel you need to relax? ...or find some people you can relax around?