First understand why you do the things you do and who that makes you. Don't be so hard on yourself. Secondly and i'm loathe to offer this because I don't think you'll fully understand it but if you want to be a certain way understand why you want to be that way. Carefully consider if you might already have the capacity. It's not about 'BEING" someone. It's about "ACTIONS" that you want to take more of. If that's the case then you can work on that.
I feel empty
Holy shit. Don’t let anyone fool you here. EVERYONE is insecure and fucked up in the head(one of the reasons psychologists will always have work). Nobody is happy with themselves, but we all have to find a way to cope.
Imagine this... you’ve had X number of years so far wandering and wondering “what if?” When really, you can start LITERALLY RIGHT NOW thinking “why not??” Why not you! Why not try something different. Be whoever you want, or pick up something new. Explore a different part of the city/state/country/world??
I am insecure at times and i've definitely been broken but I am happy with myself. I found self love. I realized that nobody could read my mind so I was going to start fulfilling my own needs and love myself the way I wish someone else would.
If i'm ever curious about a what if I just go and try to do that.
>i don't think you'll fully understand
kek
>why you want to be that way
to have friends, emotional connections and not be so sad.
>capacity
i may or may not. but ill keep trying.
>being someone/ actions to take more of
i don't particularly want to change how i act orginally because i enjoy that but long term it is incredibly unsatisfying. changing into someone else is unenjoyable. perhaps my issue is staying the same but playing a role. so ill just hope that i eventually change into that role.