No ylyl? wtf b
No ylyl? wtf b
Colton Rogers
Other urls found in this thread:
m.youtube.com
twitter.com
Brandon Ward
Jaxson Cox
Jace Parker
Gone to soon!
Jaxon Butler
Chase Howard
Benjamin Hughes
Henry Allen
Juan White
I wish I wasn't the only one writing parodies
>be me
>16 yo virgin
>tall and scrawny, with brown hair and glasses
>meet chick at school same age as me
>she seems trashy but whatever
>dating for a few weeks
>she brings me home to meet her family
>im immediately nervous
>her father and brother are morbidly fat
>and the house smells bad
>like vomit and bo
>they sit me down
>tell me I "walked into the courtroom"
>can barely understand what they are saying
>so fat they cant talk through their jowls
>i think they are telling me they want to fuck her
>and blah blah blah
>i just want to get out of there the smell is killing me
>take gf on date
>dinner and a movie
>at dinner
>she eats like a pig
>chews with mouth open, talks while chewing
>belches AT the wait staff and laughs about it
>I make an excuse to get out of the movie
>take her home and get the fuck out of there
>about a week later she calls me
>wants to hang out
>whatever.mp3
>let her in
>within mins she finds my older brothers alcohol stash
>drinks an amount that should kill a rhino
>bitches about how her faggot brother is always trying to fuck her
>bitches when she finds out I dated a college chick previously
>twerks the entire time
>not a majestic sight
>after an hour of this I tell her to leave
>she gets pissed and tells me we are through
>while twerking
>throws three vodka bottles at me but doesn't come close
>twerks out the door
>I close and lock the door and hide in my room
>whatthefuckisupwiththatfamily.webm
Levi Ward
>be me
>37 yo
>beta loser who can't get laid for the life of him, still virgin
>pathological fear of viruses since middle school, when the teacher made us watch outbreak
>have a younger sister, 16 at this time
>been trying to fuck her for years
>one day announces that she "doesnt feel good"
>father and I start discussing plans on where to get TP
>few days later, sister still sick
>mom takes her to doctor, it's corona
>who gives a shit
>my father and I sit down and talk about acquiring TP
>discuss for a few minutes
>we go out
>dad tells me "be prepared to fight"
>we come home empty handed
>I got my ass kicked by a 19 yo fat chick with three kids
>I have two black eyes, and a broken nose
>dad can't stop laughing uncontrollably
>sister can't stop laughing uncontrollably
>mom just coughs uncontrollably
>try to get sister to suck my dick in exchange for TP
>denied.webm
>whole family laugh-coughs at me
>climb in shower
>water is as hot as it will go but feels lukewarm
>shit, now I have a fever
>reach out and grab TP and pull into shower with me
>TP gets heavy as it soaks up water from shower
>last roll of TP in house
>I may be a virgin and dying, but I'm taking the TP with me