Why dont you fit into society?

Jesus christ where do you live? Is it really that bad?

OP looks like an apartment in Japan.

Most Americans would actually look down on this and consider it undesirable (too small, cramped, overpopulated)

I know I'm gonna get hate for this but I can blend in for very short bursts but it never lasts. I'm good looking, charming and have been engaged. I am extremely violent, suicidal and a diagnosed schizophrenic and nobody wants to put up with that shit. My fiance left when I started jamming a knife in my arm while cooking her dinner, I was mad at the time but realize it was a breaking point for her..

i dont because im too apathetic but i pretend to. i think im doing a pretty good job because i think people view me as a pretty normal person

good. mentally ill losers should be isolated and abandoned.

Bad at math, lacked good personal hygiene habits as a kid, most of my childhood friends moved away, played video games but not the right kind that everyone else plays.
I was unironically too intelligent to be a normalfag but too stupid to be useful or exception in any area. I over-complicate simple things and over-simplify complicated things.
I under estimate myself where it matters and over estimate myself where it doesn't.

When I go to bed I just focus on all the great things I'll never have in life and imagine myself nearer to them, not out of depression but as a form of escapism. I'm happy to imagine that, it puts me in a good place because I know in reality I'll always underachieve no matter how much I out perform along the way.

I also had a moment where I stared myself in the face 60 years from now and know for a fact I'll die alone and forgotten.

I don't often get praise for my accomplishments so I don't feel like I've ever done anything worth while. As a result, I don't react well to praise, typically thinking it is not genuine. I have never felt like I have impressed anyone.

I've moved to 4 different states, had at least 10 jobs, went to so many high schools, colleges, started over so many times in my life that it's damaged me psychologically

What's the point of making friends and fitting into society when you're just gonna start over? Whats the point of anything long term?

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I can fit in with society. However, I don't like people, it disgusts me when people try to "bond" with me, and I'm am repulsed by physical contact with others.

People can't help but like me for some reason though.

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Because I don't laugh, and don't have any interest in making small talk. People say they get the feeling they annoy me. So basically everyone hates me even though all I do is mind my own business.

bad social anxiety. It is impossible for me to open up to people and talk about things I like with them. most of my interests aren't normal so I have almost nothing in common with normies, and the few things I do have in common I'm still afraid to talk about because anxiety. even if I have a good story I could tell, or thoughts about a movie/anime I recently watched, I refrain because I know I will fuck up the delivery and it will be more cringe than anything. so I basically don't ever speak in society unless spoken to, and when spoken to I cower like a fucking mouse. I am very lucky to have the few friends that I have now, because I have no idea how they befriended me in the first place.

as for studies/career, I recently dropped out of uni due to social anxiety, I couldn't take it anymore. I work a dead end minimum wage job that I've had since high school, and even that is nightmare anxiety fuel for me (it's not even retail). I've realized long ago that I'm not going anywhere in life, and it doesn't matter how smart I could be or how good-looking I could be because I don't have a fraction of the communication/social skills of a normal person.

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making friends is hard
keeping them is harder
also finding Yas Forums too young, fear of rejection, and some imposter syndrome

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Lol what are you on about, are you some kind of richfag? OP's pic is clearly in a high rise, if not the literal penthouse suite.

People nowadays have a way of jerking themselves off a lot Im not really into, they all think theyre better than you, and just talking about it gets me dragged into this needless and pointless shit and Ive learned its just better to avoid these kinds of people and let their malice fester on their own time instead of mine.

I am unironically a tranny and have massive socialization gaps that make me the emotional equivalent of a 16 year old even though I am 27.
Also intractable AvPD.

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wtf are you me
not original btw

This "society" doesn't really exist, it's just lies we all tell ourselves and others. People always put on a friendly, happy mask. One day the facade will shatter

Aww, you'd fit right in with us nerds (pro tip: we're not that smart)

Then you're not a real nerd, brainlet

I actually have pretended to fit in pretty well. Have a respectable job that I work from home, live in nice apartments, have a phone call with my boss once a week... paranoia episodes, panic attacks, agoraphobia, depressive episodes, no friends or human attachments, mood swings, break down crying or start breaking things randomly, drug problems, binge eating, self-harm, memory and identity issues, disassociate hours away each day, people scare the shit out of me, noises scare the shit of me, age regress and hide in my closet for hours sometimes, insomnia... I always wonder if anyone knows how completely incapable of taking care of myself I have become. Hygiene is a luxury for rare days I have some energy. My mail keeps getting shut off because I only get it like twice a year. Some day I will lose this job during a depressive episode and it will all come crashing down I guess.

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because having the feeling like you don't fit into society, constitutes a huge group of people and as such is a crucial and integral part of society already, just doesn't feel like it. if everyone was alpha there would be no such thing as alpha, it would just be a constant which we wouldn't even notice. betas are the necessary contrast society creates in order that alphas may know that they're alpha. without us they're nothing.

>People always put on a friendly, happy mask.
Lol in what paradise do you live

Heh, alright then whatever you say