NEET/Hikikomori

>I am sick of being a disappointment
what makes you think you're a disappointment? I think i can understand the rest
>feel guilty about it
why do you feel guilty about being NEET?

Attached: 1584584659763.jpg (480x640, 49.56K)

It is hard for a shut in to be a good partner user. I was with a girl for years and I was a shut in the whole time. I was absolutely terrible as a partner barely ever did anything fun with her was too much of a loser to go out could barely afford to do anything special for her. Had to leech off her in order to eat. I really think you would probably end up leaving your shut in gf and it would just break her even more. I think it really is best for shut ins just to be alone. At least then we can not hurt others or have others hurt us. That and expectations are the worst and I know I never met them.

I have disappointed everyone who ever cared about me and let down countless people. I have no goals and no life. I hurt the person I loved the most by refusing to change my ways. The only thing in my life that is not disappointed in me is my dog. I once actually had the delusion that I was going to snap out of this and be successful one day that was just a cope a fucked up sad cope that was never realistic. There is only one way out of this tomb that I have created for myself.

I find immense pleasure in taking care of my gf. I daydream about bringing her food and taking out her empty soda cans and 2 day old bowls. I think so much about carrying her to the bath tub and bathing her. I want like a nega-real doll. Like a real person but I have to take care of them like a doll. Also I have yellow fever on top of that so.

5 years straight but I was a NEET for long stretches before this. No hope of ever being a functional human being at this point.

you may be a disappointment to other people but maybe you don't have to feel like one if you stopped caring about other people so much.

Attached: 1494671304404-1.jpg (1240x1754, 537.03K)

All I am saying is there is usually a reason we shut ourselves in. We do not make good partners. That is nice you would do all of that but I guarantee you would get sick of it and then when you break her heart you would end up fucking her up far more then she already would be. But I guess you want to live your fantasy but remember we are people not some thing to take care of.
Yeah that is not really possible for me desu. I do not know how to just ignore the fact that everyone who knows you knows that you are a worthless piece of shit. I do not know how to ignore that I have wasted my life I do not know how to ignore that I will never leave any mark on the world. I would probably also not be a shut if if I could turn off caring about what others think of me.

>when you break her heart you would end up fucking her up far more then she already would be
shit man now I feel terrible, i know that feel

Attached: 1587705130854.jpg (2048x1536, 934.57K)

Thats what happened to me at least. Because I have been a shut in for so long when I was with my girlfriend I made her my entire world. I loved her more then anything. I depended on her for everything. I needed her for conversation I needed her for food I needed her for love. I needed her emotional support. I needed her to believe in me. I needed everything about her. I absolutely relied on her more then it is healthy to do so. My whole world was her and when I lost that it made the depression worse it made the void worse. It made me understand how bad I fucked everything up and it felt like a part of me died. She was my rock and when I lost that all I did was regress far worse as a shut in then I ever was before. It has been over a year and I still can barely even leave my bed. It sounds really pathetic but when you lose the part of you that made you strong it kills everything else inside of you.

Christ man, I couldn't imagine doing that to a girl, even if she wasn't trying to get out of her shell. If she relied on me I would do my best to try to distance myself while still helping out. I am sure it would drag me down too but I feel as though I could take it. I hope you find someone else to make you forget her.

I am never going to date again. I never want to experience heartbreak again. Plus it is not very realistic anymore. When you get older and if you are a shut in girls will not date you they may fuck you if they want a walking dildo but not having any of your shit together pretty much eliminates your chances at an actual relationship. The only reason I had my ex was because we were both very young when we met so we were both stupid and both thought I would change. I do not really blame her for leaving why would anyone put up with this lifestyle. Especially someone as amazing as she was she really did deserve a lot better. I think that is what breaks my heart the most knowing that. So when people say oh just stop caring that you are a disappointment well that is just not possible when you disappointed the one person who actually accepted you and understood you.

I was a borderline while in uni especially becoming extremely isolated.

Then i spent a year neetmode before getting a job. Was the worst most depressing time of my life living mostly with my mother and feeling like a loser.

Then when I got the job it just made me crave neet life again. Many good things came with working but ultimately i cant keep up the kind of wage slavery the world is built on.

Then i realised that vanlife was a thing, and despite the annoying rich cunts, it made me realise i could actually live in a van and it would be about the same size as a small bedroom, except i could drive it around anywhere, have a kitchen and bathroom all in one... etc

So now I'm using the huge amount of savings ive earned in 2 years to build a van to live in. I've already got the van, i can already sleep in it but it just needs a lot of things to get myself power, hot water and a toilet.

It sounds crazy at first, but now instead of being a pathetic shut in rotting in his mothers basement, I'll be a a roaming nomad, uncucked by no rent nor bills, owning his own mobile home, able to make the entire world is playground.

>Kindergarden
Functional normie, nothing unordinary
>Middle School
Realization that some are just nasty because they have the option to be
>Junior High School
Creates a mental mask. Later removed when I realize this class and our teachers was fucking chill and a blast to be with. All ganged up on a bully even when I didn't even notice he bullied me.
>High School
Backstabbers, all of them. Only had a maximum of 5 people to hang out after school, 4 of them not even in the same class. Lived as a NEET for 3 years and about 3 more years after. Still managed to grab one fine tiddy (not sure why former classmate girl was into me but it fixed self-esteem).
>Today
Were currently studying STEM until pandemic and now online, having built up decent social skills and jogging to get the body I want for so long. Dating doesn't feel impossible anymore.
>Feels good

Btw, never breathe in hydrogen sulfide. Got a whiff when my retarded russian lab partner played with it and hurt like shit.

That fucker almost got copper sulfate on his sandwich.

Attached: received_735469413562051.jpg (3024x4032, 506.95K)

im physical hikki for 3 years now
existentially and emotionally im hikki for over 8 years.

You are not a hikki unless you are a Japanese shutin.

That being said, if you are a neet / mentally ill/ shutin, you can come here: DvckWTU

No trannies fags or women, thanks

5 years
bitchute.com/video/BGFTrSWjnEjS/

i've been a neet for almost 10 years, i lost count. there isnt much to say about it unless someone cares enough to ask about it but i enjoyed being neet at least

Attached: 1579996324983.jpg (900x929, 208.56K)

6 years, is uncomfortable, I have the impression of spoiling my whole existence, I would never travel, I would never know the experiences of life, I am nothing but a man who ages and rots in a room, my mother is sad, I am sad, I want to die

Attached: november9k.png (434x382, 354.19K)

You try getting on anti depressants?

>why do you feel guilty about being NEET?
I dont really know for certain, if we're being perfectly honest. I hate other people but still dislike the idea of living on hand-outs, I suppose.

About 15 years now, so half my life.