/britfeel/

is it medium-rare?

>>unrealistic expectations of women and sex
surely thats the porn, not the wanking.

Andrew mate, was gonna wait until your birthday, but with all the seething now is as good a time as any. It's a new hair piece for you mate, made from the locks of real Thai women. No, dont thank me, all the other lads chipped in to get it for you too. Happy hair day pal.

>Did you marinate
yes
>shove garlic up its arse
yes
What sides you having with it?
got a bit drunk at the end and couldnt be bothered to make any sides so im just eating the whole chicken on its own

whenever mummy does chicken its always really dry. i struggle to swallow it and it all just gets stuck inside my mouth, no matter how much i try to soak it in gravy. i really don't like it but she always does chicken and she always says it was nice. this one time i said i didnt like chicken because i struggled to eat it without putting the blame on her, and she said she didnt know what i was talking about.

is that just how chicken is? or am i being gaslit? obviously this doesnt apply to chicken from maccies or drumsticks or whatever. i don't think i've ordered chicken at a restaurant.

i just don't understand lads

>is that just how chicken is?
no

that and the imagined scenarios are always better
plus wanking feels better than sex with a condom

What porn is this you mention?

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she is just cooking it for too long

Don't go chasing waterfalls
Please stick to the rivers and the lakes that you're used to
I know that you're gonna have it your way or nothing at all
But I think you're moving too fast

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