Looks like Champ finally crawled outta that cave of his. Come on down and have a seat with the rest of the gang, Champ. Tell everyone about all those job offers you've gotten and all those girls you've been chasing.
No, Champ. We've been over this before. Your hand doesn't count.
>everyone breaks out into laughter
Boomer dad would never disgrace his son like that. You went too far.
>h-hey guys...
>[...]
alone
pros: alone
cons: alone
alone
>champ, what's that in your hand
>oh god hes got a gun
>y-you too
this comment was not original
God, I love these threads. Give more advice or jokes Boomer Dad
>Look who crawled out of his cave!
SHUT THE FUCK UP I HATE YOU
>You won't do it, champ.
>You've always been a wimp. A sissy. A pushover. You're pathetic, cha-*BANG*
I love how you capitalize champ every time like it's his actual name lmao
>reveal my bundled autism
>shit on the table
>stip naked and hug him
i might be going down but youre coming with me faggot
Meeting girls, Champ? Heh, that's easy. I've seen all those girls checking you out back at the supermarket, and you could totally get at least one of them if you showed some backbone and tried. Can't believe a handsome young fellow like you even needs to ask that. The only thing holding you back is you. But you're not gonna meet one on a Shembot thread, Champ. You've just gotta crawl outta that thick shell of yours, hand them a bouquet of flowers, give 'em a firm handshake, and tell 'em you're not letting go until they accompany you to dinner.
Heh, they'll be all over you once you crawl outta your shell and start being more assertive.
*BRAP* fuck you dad. now wheres the tendies?
fuck boomer dad, cough on the fucker hes going to be senile in a few years anyway so he may as well die now
uh!....this is why i walk alone. humans are so cruel.
>itachi pic.
this isnt to imply i am going to kill my family.
>hahahahaha nice joke pops
>but just ask mom im sure she had a nice time
*shoots himself*
im turn into crab.
whatever happened to this simp icon?
Quitters never win, and winners never quit, Champ! Excuses are just that: Excuses. When I was your age, we were facing our cross-town rivals over at Allentown Prep. They were the best team in the entire state, and they had this monster of a defensive end: A huge fella by the name of Chet Anders. He was 6'5 and 260 pounds -- or he was until I dove at his knees on a cut block and took him out. Sheer luck it took the paramedics 15 minutes to get him to stop screaming. And that was with the scouts from Alabama, Notre Dame, and USC in attendance. Last I heard, he leapt off a bridge after he couldn't even hack it in Hacwamanee Community College as a third-stringer. Met your mother at the school dance the very next night, and the rest as they say is history...
The point is that finding a nice girl is as easy as walking up to one, giving her a firm handshake, and refusing to let go until she accepts your invitation to dinner. Tell her you want nothing less than a meaningful relationship! That simple, bud. You've got everything in the bag; you just need to make the first move. Girls will be chasing you so much, you'll have to fend 'em off with a broom.
>tfw you will never even be as great as chet anders
why even live
When are ya gonna give your mother and me grandchildren, Champ? Having kids is important because it gives you direction, a sense of achievement, and someone who'll take care of you when you get old. When I was your age, I had kids. Everyone has kids, Champ! Why the glum face? Oh, l know: Girl trouble. Champ, that Lacey girl wasn't pointing and laughing at you; she was pointing and laughing with you. Girls like a confident guy who can sweep her off her feet with a winning smile. A handsome guy like you ought to have no problem finding the right girl. And introducing yourself to one is as simple as walking up to her, smiling, giving her a firm handshake, and telling her that you're not letting go until she accepts your invitation to dinner.
It's as easy as pie! Girls will practically be chasing you when you crawl outta your shell, Champ. You'll be running around so much, you'll practically have to fend them off with a broom. Better get your Brooks Adrenalines and chocolate boxes ready, Champ!
Dad, I'm gay. Originally, of course.
Champ, if I've said it once, I've said it a million times: A mental illness is just another way of saying you need a kick in that stubborn keyster of yours to get you going. Now finding a nice girl and not being a degenerate weirdo is as simple as walking up to her, giving her a firm handshake, handing her a box of chocolates, and asking her out on a date!
Heh, WHEN you have kids of your own, you'll sit back and laugh at just how much your ol' pops was right.
>giving her a firm handshake
implying i wouldn't be arrested dad
That's just telling me that you need to be yourself, PMAHC, but first you need a haircut to make yourself look presentable for the date. Just a little bit off the sides, and presto! You're ready for a night on the town. Whaddya mean 'you're balding, Champ?' You're not balding, Champ! You just need to STYLE IT. You don't wanna shave it, Champ. You'll look like a hoodlum, and no one would wanna hire you. Besides: Girls love it when you sweep your hair over the side like that. Pair that with your best smile, and they'll be all over you so much you'll have to fend them off with a broom!
"Reeeee"? Champ, I know you're really excited - heard you psyching yourself up all last night - but can you save your battle cry for when we get home?
i don't trust you dad. you're just going to send me to Guangzhou (a city in China)
Hello, glandson. We are very excited but suplised to see you here in Guangzhou (the capital of Guangdong). Get setteld, we help you unpack, and take you to dinnel. But don't overindulge. Tomollow, we take you to local English language school so you can talk with the dilector about teaching thele. They need of teachels who speak good English (the language)! Remember to bow to him in humble glatitude, okay? Print out several copies of your biodata, staple them togethel, and get some lest. What you mean computel is slow? You buy one once you get job. Okay, see you.
Wow this is realy evil.
I tought boomer dad loves his Robot son.
HE IS YA SON NO MATTER WHAT
FUCKING HIPPIE
This. Boomer Dad has hope and just want his son to get it too like the others.
user shoots himself in the foot and cries like a baby
>give 'em a firm handshake
THATS RIGHT BUDDY SO WE DID WONE AGAINST THE KRAUTS IN WORLD WAR TWO
A FIRM HANDSAKE IS ALWAYS THE POWER OF THE WINNER. LOOK AT TRUMP. HE STRONG