How does one stop being the guy that people avoid and start being the guy that people go after?
How does one stop being the guy that people avoid and start being the guy that people go after?
Colton Lewis
Connor Morris
Re-rolI until you get some good stats.
Charles Roberts
Every reply is just gonna tell you to be good looking. Are you new
Isaiah Thompson
I mean in general, not from girls or even people irl for that matter so i don't think appearance matters in this case, personality, social skills, likeability, charisma, inteligence or whatever else that would matter here, how do you get good on that?
I wish i was someone else but that works too.
Jonathan Carter
I don't know, I wish I was liked. Not even romantically, just fundamentally. I just want someone who can enjoy my company.
Angel Evans
be content with yourself and be interesting by sharing what interests you
Wyatt Collins
What if others find those interests boring
Samuel Allen
then there's a fair chance you also find them boring
Logan Jenkins
spend 2 years being productive developing highly curated interests, tastes, and hobbies and just generally challenging yourself and your brain as much and often as possible
step one would be figuring out what all that would entail for you
step two would be to cut away all bad habits such as coming here and other procrastination fuel websites
you'll also have to take care of your body, work out and take care of your skin, it sharpens the brain too and makes you feel good
Julian Smith
Nope, it's just too niche for 99.9% of people
Xavier Miller
if you were interested in them, then you'd be more interested in the stuff their interested in to have things to talk about
Cooper Phillips
I wish someone would give me company regardless and selfishly that they made time for me and not anyone else, can't really have that if they don't enjoy doing it i guess unless i make someone my hostage but i don't want that.
>be interesting
What if i'm not interesting? I think the way things are conveyed, as in the conversation is more important than the content itself most of time.
I don't know but it sounds kind of artificial, isn't being the right type of person inherent, if not that it's made up of everything they did unconsciously ever since they were born, people just do thinks they like and acted the way they want to and it makes them interesting.
Ayden Flores
If you interest yourself than you're interesting to yourself, which is all that matters. From there you can talk about stuff that interests other people, but if you barely care, than you mineaswell move on. People don't seek out other people just because they exist, it's because they're entertaining in some way.
Easton Gomez
How can i be interesting to myself? That's weird, i don't talk to myself i just am, if you mean if i think i'm interesting then that would be a hard no. If i don't care about the other person or the subject? I can't say i would care about every subject but i can't make an interesting conversation regardless, it's less about the subject or the interest and more about the way it is said itself and the conversation, so it would be personality, social skills, likeability, charisma, inteligence or whatever else not if i'm knowledgeable or interested in a especific thing. I think people seek people because they have some value to them, i'm most cases yea it would be entertainment, just existing in the way you used is kind of weird because by existing you are doing more than just that, most people produce value just by the way they exist and are.
Adam Martin
maybe don't ask the reject board
earn money and social parasites will naturally suck up to you
Andrew Myers
>reject
But not really, most people here have people that want them, often multiple friends, etc, etc, maybe someone knows a concrete answer as to how, or just want to talk i don't know, also, i don't want to be sought after because of money that wouldn't be me they are after then it would be money.
Brandon Wright
nobody would care about an avatarfagging animeposter with nothing to say but spread his insecurity
you might attract gay coomers but nobody with self respect would want that so work on having self respect first, get a job and earn money
Asher Morris
I have a job and 5k saved up, i also spent thousands on a new computer, i'm still buying peripherals and i'm going to build a new table, this arrived today, you're full of shit if you think that's advice. What self respect even entails?
Carter Rodriguez
not watching gutter trash like overlord to start with
Andrew Wood
interest is subjective, by choosing to pursue anything, be it video games anime whatever, you're choosing something because it interests you most, thus making yourself interesting to yourself. It's inherent, people only start getting confused when they forget that.
Applying your self-content self from that to any conversation, whatever commentary you naturally apply will be commentary that interests you. If someone's talking about snowboarding and your brain thinks, "that'd be awesome if you could eat a ramen bowl while boarding", but you hold it back because you're assuming weebery is inherently uninteresting to other people, yet by doing that you're forgetting it's interesting to yourself, so you make a choice, are you this person's slave or are you you?
Dylan Walker
Find people who will go after you.
Aiden Gomez
>watching
You're letting it show, your lack of taste, i've finished the light novel not the anime.
What you're interested in is not really inherent, it changes a lot and of course the people you're with have a massive inpact on it too, also by doing something that interest you makes you interesting to yourself? I don't understand that it just means you're interested in the thing you're doing not you. Moreover it is completely ok to do something you're not interested in or don't enjoy for the sake of something, in fact that's the way tastes change and evolve most of the time and i don't think you should be cooped up in only things you enjoy and i think you should conform and be open to other things you wouldn't be interested, of course no one does anything without a reason so you usually do that when there's something for you in it but peoples values are too convoluted and different for that reason to be really known but i think you usually come out gaining something in the particularly new tastes, enjoyments, experiences, etc, etc, also you're talking about being interesting, sure that's a good thing, but very much not the thing that makes people like you, for the most part. You're not getting it i don't think, you're talking about being myself basically, sure anxiety, nervousness, etc play a part and being self content would help but in that same example, if someone is talking about snowboarding i wouldn't have any commentary other than "cool", "nice", or asking things, if someone is talking about something that interests me and i know about there would be more to talk about sure but that would run dry really quick, also i don't think there's anything wrong with the things that interest me, communication isn't just interests, of course not, it's more about the person inherently, who and how they are, or so i think.
Jordan Flores
>are you this person's slave or are you you?
I'm me regardless, what is the problem of wanting to be interesting to people? If i get their interest, which is what i'm interested in.
Well, people need to see value before that happens.
Josiah Morales
Don't be yourself. Everytime I talk to my friends I try to act as approachable and easy to talk to as possible. If they knew what I really felt like and who I really was, they would probably never want to talk to me again
Xavier Thomas
Well i do, sort of, model myself for each interaction depending on who it is, circumstance, mood, etc, i wouldn't say i'm faking it or not being myself in any of them, if i'm to be nervous and unable to say anything that would also be myself, i do try to be approachable and easy to talk to but i think i fail on doing that a lot, again, because of how i am, the nervousness you have and how uncomfortable you are that moment with those people and the not talking about how you feel and not being the way you would want to be are also part of yourself at those times, you're the one that makes the reason to hold back in any way so the way you act for that is still you, you're the one that can make the effort to talk about the thing you're not comfortable to talk about too, if they would act a certain way or another if you have enough confidence in the communication between the both of you, you can steer the conversation towards that area, or at least dip into it see what they think, of course do it in a disarming way if you want what they think really, it could be that even them feel like they have to act a certain way around you, if it's something they really wouldn't be ok with then it's up to you to find someone you trust to not act harshly because of it, not to agree with it necessarily, personally, if it's not something that effects me and we could still be friends normally i wouldn't mind anything if i was already their friend, as in i could have someone tell me they are a serial killer, i wouldn't agree with it, i would discuss it with him and tell him why and that he should stop but i also wouldn't leave or force him to stop or tell people on him, again, that's assuming it doesn't affect me, as in i trust him to not want to kill me too.
Austin Brown
Be interesting. Have interesting and useful skills that people may want to know about
My coworker keeps in contact with me because he knows when shit hits the fan I'll be living it up cause I'm prepared, and also because he thinks I'm a shaman but that's beside the point
Colton Williams
I wouldn't want to be useful to someone, rather i want people to be interested in me not what i offer, sort of, kind of hard to explain.
Angel Cooper
user, people are shallow scumbags. If you can't offer them anything they won't like you
Life is a game of networking and politics
Anthony Brown
What will you do with the pursuit of gaining their interest? Be their jester?
Elijah Mitchell
I want to offer my personality, if that makes sense, my attention, etc, things like that, manly, i can be useful in other ways i think but that's what want primarily, i don't think people are shallow, they just aren't thinking in this sort of way because they take for granted and have a bunch of things and people interested already.
Caleb Sanchez
>it just means you're interested in the thing you're doing not you
We're comprised of the things we do.
>i don't think you should be cooped up in only things you enjoy and i think you should conform and be open to other things you wouldn't be interested
That comes after dissatisfaction starts coming up on someone being to repetitive with their lifestyle, it's still a reaction of "I want to be more interested than this, which isn't cutting it anymore", which doesn't mean you need another person leading your way, you can try things yourself.
>but that would run dry really quick
"That" being your interest, because talking doesn't need a plan and doesn't have rules or needs to be confined to any particular things. It's just sharing life experience, interests, and about learning. But if all you do is learn in conversations, that'll probably bore the other party.
Cooper Bell
Make an effort to memorize people's names. When you talk to a person, try to say their name as often in the discussion as possible without going overboard. People like to hear their own name.
>Hey, Jeff, how are you?
>I'm good, thanks, you?
>I'm alright, Jeff, thanks for asking, Jeff. By the way, Jeff, I really like that deodorant you're wearing, Jeff, mind if I ask what it is, Jeff?
>Oh, thank you, you're so charismatic. I'm wearing Pretty Flower Aroma
>Jeff, that sounds fantastic, Jeff. I just might start wearing it myself, Jeff. It was good talking to you Jeff, I always enjoy these little conversations we have, Jeff.
>Me too, new best friend.
See how easy that was?
John Nelson
Look...If you're good looking then people will just naturally approach you and take an interest in you.
If you're ugly, then you're going to have to bait them with something they'll be interested in. Artists and musicians have this the easiest since they have something tangible to show and impress people with.
To a lesser extent professionals in certain fields like history, medicine, ect...
But at the end of the day, no one gives a shit about you unless there's something they can get from you.
Oliver Wright
They for one don't have to ask how to become that guy. Some people are just naturally like that. People can sense you're being fake no matter how much you try. That's we're the socially awkward losers stuck here.