No second arc where everything suddenly has a purpose. The probability that I, you and everyone either of us knows will die unremarkably and will not be remembered in 3 generations is practically 100. There's nothing more. You live. You die. You are forgotten. In the grand scheme of things, your existence has not contributed to humanity in a noteworthy way. Everything you do amounts to a rounding error 100 years down the line.
And even the things you can enjoy now are not going to be a net positive on your life. Friends offer solace, at least superficially . But you're not going to find romantic love. Or maybe you will. I hope. But I certainly won't. The thought of someone caring for me in that way that just comes naturally to most people is completely foreign to me. Every relationship I've been in has ended on bad terms. I decided to just stay away from them now because it's not like the heartbreak is worth the incredibly tiny chance of partial fulfillment a working one would offer.
I have a very supportive group of friends. Most have troubles but they stay optimistic about them. But how the fuck am I supposed to tell one of my buddies to stay strong and that things will get better when I've been chuckling at that very same line of thought for years. The greatest fear I have right now is getting drunk/high and just bursting out crying because I can't contain it anymore. I don't want to burden them with something they probably can't solve but could never stop trying to. They'd be worried sick about me for no reason.
I don't even know why I'm typing this out. It's not like one of you autists can whisper some satanic phrase and teleport me to magic pink everything is always good land. I honestly hate being the self pitying prick I am right now. Rationally I expect nothing from life, but somehow emotionally I just can't accept that. I just want to give up but something is keeping me from it. There's this glimmer of hope I dont want
Well instead of crying about the inevitability of death and your lack of impact, use that to your advantage. No one will remember your success, so no one will EVER remember your failures. Try, be the best you, and stop making excuses. You can make it, we all will
William Cox
This.
Also if you insist on being an overly deep sentimental faggot just read Meditations and then go to bed and also fuck you I hate you go die
Liam Rodriguez
I don't have number one and I've not gone a day without contemplating pic for the last few years. Glad there's someone out there more bitter than me though Well, I will have to live with my failures. Fuck that. I'd rather just exist with as little that can go wrong as possible
Dylan Williams
Fuck that. Nihilistic hedonism is the only way to go once you realize how pointless everything is. Try it, user. Just do what makes you feel good.
Christian Jenkins
>talks about how pointless and dull life is >still dwells on his failures
I know what you're talking about but I could never get into it. The only things I enjoy are drugs. Probably due to the dopamine kick. But most of the more fun stuff will fuck you up in the mid to long term. I don't want 5 years of empty enjoyment in exchange for 50+ years of health complications
Caleb Roberts
>No second arc where everything suddenly has a purpose. You don't know, actually. Our lives being just a product of meaningless star dust with no afterlife is just one of the possibilities, not the definitive one, maybe THERE IS a higher meaning. Maybe when you die you rejoin your interdimensional friends laughing at you for spending decades here taking all of this so seriously. You don't know.
>it's not like the heartbreak is worth the incredibly tiny chance of partial fulfillment a working one would offer. Yeah it is. That's love in a nutshell. Hell, some people just have five marriages and it never works. You think you're deeply flawed because why? Your last two GFs broke up with you and you aren't friends? Please. There's guys out there who's exes slash their tires and cave in their windshields.
>I honestly hate being the self pitying prick I am right now That's a good way to feel. Keep feeling that way. Hate is a pretty good motivator.
Jordan Moore
Maybe do the fun stuff every two weeks, and the rest of the time smoke weed, and maybe a little booze? I personally NEET while playing video games, watching anime, and smoking weed. I really want to get into psychs eventually though.
Adam Rivera
>Fuck that. Nihilistic hedonism is the only way to go once you realize how pointless everything is. The problem is that your hedonistic capability deteriorates with age, your brain physically gets old and you slowly lose the spark and energy, then you are only left with the non-hedonistic things you build up, like a good family, good job, good health, comfy lifestyle, etc, in which you won't have if you focus 100% in having pleasure. >b-but I'll just kill myself then No you won't
Bentley Thompson
So what lmfao just kill yourself at 40 what the fuck do you have to live for when you're old?
Ryan Turner
I don't understand this fear people have of not being remembered. Who cares? That's the least of my concerns.
What really keeps me up at night is the fear of dying in pain; scared or alone. For this reason I have considered suicide (later in life) many times.
Nothing we do here matters, and nothing happens once the curtains finally close. That I can accept, but then I begin to wonder about the millions of children and adults who have died at the hands of a violent predator, or in a tragic accident....what was running through their minds just before they died? Nightmare fuel. I want my exit from this evil world to be peaceful. That's all that I ask.
huh, that's actually a pretty curious way of thinking about it I had three relationships of which one tried to stab me, one tried to cave my skull in with a nightlamp and one OD'd after we had a fight one night. Two of them also cheated, guess which ones I have a kinda high tolerance for weed (I usually have to smoke like 4g) and genetic liver problems. you should try shrooms and lsd, very interesting experiences, although not strictly "fun" I feel like the fear of being forgotten is related to the fear of dying alone. One is just and extension to the other
Levi Brown
Yeah, but it doesn't deteriorate that much until you're old; and it never fully goes away. What are the odds that anyone here is gonna be able to do all that anyway. Then you'd have just wasted your "hedonist years" on trying and failing to build all that up. Also, I stay in good health. When I was fat, I didn't enjoy things as much. Besides, maybe I'll meet a girl that has my same view on life.
David Rivera
Yeah, I definitely wanna try shrooms and lsd. Changing the way my brain works has always been interesting and fun to me; even if it's intense and uncomfortable. Salvia, and dxm are fun. Too bad salvia's illegal in my state now.
Colton Rogers
When you get to 40 you will very likely have a different mindset and won't want to kill yourself, only regret that you didn't make something out of you when you were younger.
>Yeah, but it doesn't deteriorate that much until you're old Are you sure? I'm 25 and already don't have the energy to play videogames like I used to. Who knows what will make me leave the bed when I'm 40
Nathan Hall
I heard good things about salvia but I'm very undecided because one of my friends that does drugs a lot more than I described his first and only trip as worse than heroin withdrawal
Adam Collins
I'm pretty sure. I'm 31 and still feeling great. You might be depressed. Try non ssri depressants. I'm on bupropion xl, and it has completely changed my attitude. I now only see possibilities instead of the negatives, and can think much clearer. The same exact thing happened to me around 26. I'm pretty sure that drugs can fix anything if used responsibly.
Matthew Morales
Nah prescribed drugs(vyvanse) was what made me a chemically imbalanced mess in the first place. I'll just get off this shit, maybe try some psychedelics see if it changes my perspective and try to fix my shit habits.
James Thompson
When I did salvia, I did 20x extract. I was pretty sure that I was dead, since I flew out of my body and only saw a black void under my body and the couch. I was at peace with it though. It was tranquil. Then eventually I slammed back into my body at mach 5. I think the bad trips might be from going into it with a bad mindset, because a lot of people have bad trips.
James Hall
I have heard of that working for a lot of people. Might be a solid plan.
Jacob Lee
huh. sounds like something to try out after all. maybe if there is an opportunity
Adam Scott
Almost everyone says that salvia results in a bad time, that is only worth it for the curiosity. Other psychs seems more promising like lsd, shrooms and DMT.
Jason Rodriguez
That is what I've heard too. The 6 times that I did it were fun though. My brother did it with me once and had fun too. Maybe happy, well adjusted people have bad trips. Who knows?
Julian Mitchell
THAT'S BECAUSE YOU DOING SOME WEAK SHIT BRO BUILD SHIT PEOPLE WILL USE GENERATIONS FROM NOW.
Daniel Walker
I wish I could. I really fucking wish
Lucas Torres
>It's not like one of you autists can whisper some satanic phrase and teleport me to magic pink everything is always good land
I could, actually. But what can you offer me in return?
