/r9gay/ - #988

>have to run errands for my mom because of this virus and she's high risk
>haven't left my hikicave in months, the house in about 3 years
>so anxious I want to vomit and/or pass out.
>tfw no bf to help me through this, since I'll have to be doing this from now on.

>go vegan
We're gay, think of some meat pun on your own, its not that hard

no, you know what, ur probably quite alright user, im sorry i called you heartless, you dont deserve that, it was wrong of me, and for that i sincerely apologize
some people just dont mix, maybe thats my fault
ok im sry NOW im leaving for real
but i will leave you all with this fine bird, pic rel :p

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gays can't be vegan because they like sucking on nice fat sausages.

i was under the impression that most people liked sausages...except for vegans, of course

g(ay)o vegan lmao nice one

>tfw no cuddly, handholding bf who lets me suck their penis

Whites be like: Just turned 30

Meanwhile 60 year old blacks still looking fresh

Black dont crack

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Reposting since I I want to know if such a service is a thing or not.
>seriously thinking about finding some professional ''top'' who would act sweet, be nice and kind to me, get drunk with me, do some activities and maybe some intimate stuff before I off myself in the near future
I'm scared of any kind of socialization or human contact but If I find someone like that who also speaks English, I might pull myself together and try it out. Being with a professional just seems less stressful since they'd know what to say to keep the conversation going or whatever. I just want to feel what it's like to be with someone who's kind to me and enjoys being with me, even if they're just acting, just once in my life, before it ends and I join the void, ceasing to exist.

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Is..is that Jerma?

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You're a fucking retard. And I would never let your retarded bitch ass anywhere near my humongous dong.

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tfw no e bf to sleep on mic and talk me through my problems that arent real problems

That's fine, I'm not looking for dong anyway.

>tfw no upstate new york bf to fucking die with

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>tfw no bf who whistles In the Hall of the Mountain King

sounds like an escort service. They are like hookers, but much more professional, and its more about the entire experience rather than the sex. Usually you would rent an escort for an entire night, not just an hour. So you could go on a date or what not.

regret telling my younger brother to watch Berserk

>and its more about the entire experience rather than the sex
I don't even care if there is sex or not, honestly maybe It be best if there was none. As I said I just want to drink with them so I'd be less nervous, maybe do some kind of activity and if they want to end it with some intimate stuff, like cuddling or something idk, I'm alright with that.
>So you could go on a date or what not.
That'd be the best thing ever. Just thinking about this is making me nervous and visibly shake though. God damnit why am I so pathetic.
I'm also afraid of breaking down in front of them or not being able to even speak. Fuck. They don't sign up for such things. That and they're probably an ordinary who doesn't understand how someone can be like me.

Thank you user, I'll look into it more, I doubt I'll find one in my country but maybe nearby or something. I doubt I'll actually make use of the service but at least I know of escorts now. Well, I knew of them but I though they were just a more polite way of saying prostitute.
Should've told him to read the manga instead, what a baka you are.

thats even worse, werid how perverted and degenerate it is yet nearly every edgy poltard I know likes it

Friendly reminder that your comrades won't spare you no matter how good of a gay you are

>tfw no cuddle whore bf

Are you really just taking Berserk at face value like that and have no idea why people enjoy it or why it's considered one of the best mangas ever? It's like saying Vagabond is for edgy weebs who love violance. Well, that's alright though, just refrain from shitting on things you don't understand it. Thank you user, have a nice one.

I'm a whore for cuddling I'd do anything to hug someone

>my lowkey doujin with guro, cuckolding, horse porn, interracial rape and pederasty is high art that only intellectuals understand muh stoic simp

hug hug user, there, all better!

AAAAAA now I want a hug IRL. Should I download grindr to see if some wholesome guy is on there who'd cuddle me??

I've never met someone from grindr bcs they wont come and hug you, they'll want to fuck and dip

How does a guy get cuddles in this day and age bros?

What is actually wrong with you user? Who hurt you? Are you alright?

i get cuddles from my friends but not the kind of cuddles i really want

*steals your dairy mozzarella and replaces it with this*

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why do vegans try to replicate regular food so badly just eat your plants and shut up?

Why are Germanics so fucking awful at food? Literally everything they touch turns bland.

>Not posting "just eat the big Mac you stupid bitch".

>tfw pretend to be a shy virgin top just to make r9gay bottoms feel secure and then I steal their virginity and dump them

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i would believe this if it wasn't borderline impossible to do this more than once or twice

Tfw no bf to hold like this and watch scary movies with

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I've only done it to two guys, one a swede the other a brit

Currently looking for new target

>Tfw did that before and got ghosted after helping him

I'd love to be hold but I'm not really scared or frightened my scary movies. I'm also too tall to be held, that and not cute enough.

>tfw cant watch scary movies at all
I watched a scary movie when I was like 15 and couldnt sleep for like the following two weeks

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I'm tall enough to make guys over 6ft feel short
You're probably cuter than you think

One does not simply steal someones virginity, one takes it.
Larper

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I knew I wasn't good enough for him. I knew he didn't really like me. I wish I hadn't been so stupid.

who are you talking about anonie?

>tfw bf forbade me from calling him since his mom suspect he's gay but he has been gone for a week now in the middle of corona crisis
>tfw super scared

Got a raging boner right now wish I had someone to stuff it in

>tfw no bf to save from homophobic parents

Anyone got a thing for being hatefucked by someone who's antigay/ god i want to bash some fag with my cock.

If you have to ask: it's you.

Why are you doing this?

Sorry, I don't associate with faggots