In your own words, explain your mental illness

I have PDD-NOS (atypical Autism), ADD and OCD, along with depression and a family history of suicides and paranoid schizophrenia.

I'm 21 and it... really took a toll on my looks.

Life story and diagnosis. I'd like to say I'm a good boi now

>dad is a violent schizophrenic paedophile from a rough city
>my mum was also violent
>parents moved from Manchester to Taunton in 1981 because racist
>had my sister in '89 and me in '92
>used to beat me, lock me in cupboards and wash mouth out with soap when I was as young as 3
>had to watch and sometimes get caught inbetween parents physical fighting
>mum and dad divorced in '95
>mum took me and sister to Manchester women and childrens home
>met a guy called Frank
>he used to beat me and my sister, swung us by our ears until they bled
>dad set up a meeting and took us to Exeter
>sexually abused me, physically abused me, mentally abused me and verbally abused me
>used to go crazy a lot, heavy drinker. extremely violent
>dropped sister off at cop station in June of '97
>I'm with this crazy bastard until late '98
>go into care
>am withdrawn
>I molested kids when I was a kid (even living with my dad)
>my foster dad cheated on my foster mum so there were a lot of fights there
>foster dad has punched me on occasion
>I tried to fuck foster sister
>killed her hamsters and a dog
>pyromaniac
>thought about mass murder a lot
>thief
>vandal
>I attempted burglary once
>zoophillia
>foster dad rinsed my mum out of 30,000 quid last October and the resulting animosity between them made me fucking worried
>but they renewed their vows for 25th anniversary so whatever
>in 2018 find out paedo dad died in 2015

PDNOS

I can't accept gifts from other people without getting paranoid whether or not they're trying to get something out of it.
I always get really uncomfortable and nervous around birthdays and christmas, I hate it.

I've been diagnosed with OCD and I very much believe I have it, but not in the way it typically manifests. I certainly exhibit typical OCD behaviour to an extent - I find myself having to repeat words until it "sounds" right certain times and I'll have to do certain things in patterns and when I don't I feel uneasy and filled with mental fog - but I think the main differentiation is that to have obsessive thought patterns and random, seemingly unimportant topics take control of my mind like a parasite and never leave my mind no matter what. I've tried to do some Freudian psychoanalysis shit and I guess I've come to the conclusion that a lot of it is, on the surface level, reflective of deeper anxieties I have and have had since childhood. So in general, it's more of an OCD/anxiety hybrid.
Beyond that, I've gone through - what I feel to be - periods of legitimate depression (I contemplated suicide last year) and have often suffer from mood swings, where I can go from being super fucking energetic to feeling like I want to die to feeling angry to feeling existential.
This is probably the best explanation I can give of it.

i kekd.

I cope being an over emotional, paranoid, lazy, depraved failed normie by substance abuse, mainly alcohol.

Im abnormally (I dont want to say irrationally because its a reasonably rational fear) terrified of pain and discomfort

This is bullshit. And I know bullshit.

Thsi is the most based comment i have ever seen on this board

>"Cured' my BPD by taking therapy seriously but the underlying personality traits that cause it don't go away, so I'm at constant war talking down my knee-jerk reactions and ruminations on social situations.
>Anxious but it's more somatic than mental and not constant
>Can hold down a job and friends and keep up appearances of a normal but offbeat dude but I am always just barely taking care of myself and my surroundings

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I have anti social features (drive drunk, break laws, steal from stores, plan how to get things in my mind, fantasize about rape, derive no enjoyment from relationships except for amusement) while also havcing extreme mood swings. It can literally turn from pretty content to sudden despair and apathy in a matter of seconds.