ITT: Something you did/are that sounds like bullshit but is actually true

Ah I got ya. sorry I assume everyone here is a gross robot[\spoiler] I would guess status and social circle or this picture is out of context

Are you employed or not?

wouldn't be surprised if she was fucking tall chads behind his back, even if she genuinely loved him

Spent a week straight only watching movies. Had 2 hours of sleep a day and about an hour for food and other stuff. Don t know why I didn t but I m pretty sure it caused brain damage.

>tfw i pooped in the sink at school
>never got in trouble for anything, so no one suspected it was me

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>got asked out by roughly a dozen different girls through school
>never accepted any of them
>incel now
Feels conflicted man

since youre good looking, why not ask out other girls then

I'm not good looking anymore. And I'm a NEET anyway.

Im into femdom and I managed to get a goth girl use me as her personal urinal for 3 weeks straight
I drank literally 100% of her pee during that period
in exchange I had to do all the chores for her, and had to wear a chastity cage for the full duration

That sounds disgusting but also kinda hot.
Got any pics of her? How big are her ass and tits?

yeah, a few
she has a pear shaped body, big ass, small tits

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When I was in 7th grade I masturbated during a test.
Someone got caught for doing the same thing that year, I got lucky.

Looks nice. Got some that show her ass more? How tall is she btw?

you should be my e-bf then

im a childish 21 year old, average as fuck dude, that has slept with 35 girls since losing my virginity 1.5 years ago

34 of those girls were from tinder, and most of them were around a 6-7 with a couple being lower and a few being higher

i met my current gf on tinder

people at my uni were shocked to find that fact out, not because of my average body/face, because of my autistic, childish as fuck attitude

as kid i was a stowaway in one of those big army helicopters

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please tell me the pic is related

unfortunately not
i wish i knew strong chloe

I created cripplechan. I didn't program it but I gave the entire idea to the cripple that did. I'm not sure re if anyone would ever believe me but it's true.

me too, a travesty of our times that we didnt meet such a beautiful meat stick

you're right. but at least we can admire her from the distance

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I used to be friends with two people who were very high up in east european criminal organizations. I made friends with both by just chance in situations completely unrelated to criminal activity.

The best I have is that I was the most popular guy in a roleplaying chat room when I was 13 and had cyber sex with twenty girls, and five times that liked me. One sent me a video of her masturbating and another spent years trying to convince me to meet her irl. Most guys hated me and any girl I spurned or didn't stick around with started hating me, too, so after two and a half years I became something of a pariah. At that point, the only people who liked me were guys who looked up to me, but I had turned a new leaf and no longer condoned that behavior, so they ended up hating me, too.

I don't know what's less believable, that or my 14,000 hours in FFXI.

i sucked a tranny's dick and i it scarred me

>i'm more of an idea guy
Lol, you didn't create shit. I'm sure a bunch of people had that idea. I had a shitty Yas Forums clone and tried to implement a board creation feature but I can't program for shit and couldn't get it working.

Made a bunch of white girls strip for me on omegle by just pretending to be black. Got a perfect score on part of the ACT by guessing on at least 50% of the questions. Made a genuine 9/10 14 year old girl fall in love with me and made her carve my name into her leg and send me all her money she made at her summer job. Had 35 year old hapa milf fall in love with me when I was 17 and begged me to impregnate her.

Fucked 5 females in a single day. Made every single one of them choke on my dick and call me master.
Wrecked them so bad they could barely walk.
Good day.

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A brazillian broad once showed me her breasts, true story

Drove a prostitute home and she gave me a free blow job.

I was on shrooms and when I told him the idea I thought we were telepathically communicating also in that moment I heard voices telling me about the spree shooters and urging me to stop saying what I was saying. Lol. This is the truth. It wasn't a good idea tho. I never thought he would make it. I have Twitter screen shots of me loosing my mind at him and apologizing & him kinda admiting it's true but not knowing what to say and obviously thinking I'm insane
.

I manage to summon a succubus which would give me multible orgasms for months until it turned evil and started raping me every night. I couldn't get it to fuck off and it would tickle my asshole every night and I would have to cross my legs and tighten my butt cheeks so it wouldn't bother me. Even then it gave me night terrors every night and would still rape me in my dreams. Eventually I just simply chose to ignore it and not be afraid anymore until it went away.

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Got an inbred family with mom. We keep it secret obviously though.

Well, don't keep it to yourself user, how'd you pull that off? How do you communicate with these things?

>lost virginity /ss/ style to a 16 year old tomboy
>had ffm threesome (drunk, shit sucked sexwise but was funny)
>cracked three hymens
>nearly all ex-gfs still like me and occasionally try to reconnect for friendzone stuff
>for all that still an aged robotic giga-loser who cant make a first approach to any unknown girl to save his life

I created the corona virus

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how inbred are we talking about here?

I believe you. What more can you tell me? Did the voices ever say anything else?

Well the kids are, we aren't though.

wait, you fucked your own mom?

Just said, we've got a family together, three kids. People assume we're a normal family but we keep the truth secret.

This isnt r/askreddit fuck off

original

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She is fucking tall for a woman, most men aren't attracted to tall women and a lot don't even bother hitting on them because they're scared of rejection even more than usual since she's taller than them. Most likely the fact that he had the guts to hit on her at all was half the work needed to score her (the rest of the half just being a "average-good" guy, well-dressed, nice hair, etc.)

>wouldn't be surprised if she was fucking tall chads behind his back, even if she genuinely loved him
If she's fucking Chad behind your back, she doesn't "genuinely love you", she just hates the beta part of you that provides money and security for her. And their body language doesn't indicate that at all. His entire body and face is facing the camera, while her body is halfway between facing the camera and facing him. That indicates that he's focused on himself ("Take a picture of me"), while she's focusing on him ("Take a picture of us"). His hand is also right on her ass while she has her arms around his neck.

They never said spree shooters specifically. The prophecy caame in 3 parts. First was that the idea would get famous. They were telling me this as I was telling him. I was basically saying to him like Yas Forums but u create and mod the board and there can be infinite ones. And I remember him saying what would u even call that. And I was so happy he asked and I said that's easy either infinite Chan or infinity Chan and we can use an 8 cos that's an infinity symbol turned on it's side. As I said that is when I felt total brain to Brian contact with him like I visually thought up that image then just transmitted it. Into his mind. And his eyes lit up and he was saying that it was so genius. I was so proud. I never got the idea from Reddit cos I just didn't rly go there back then. I got it from tumblr. Cos I was thinking of Yas Forums but a micro blog.

The first part of what the voices were saying was that the idea would blow up. I imidiatly was saying to it inwardly like no nothing me or this loser could you ever make will have any success. We r both losers. Then it said people would die. It never mentioned spree shooter specifically but it was saying ppl in the hundreds would die b.c of the site. That's the nz & elpaso shooters. I think the voices meant those to guys specifically. The day of nz shooting I felt it happening. I didn't know where or anything I could just feel a spree shooting occuring before my phone updated me with the news. With elpaso I didn't know till a month or so later but I really really felt that one and cried for hours cos how all the news sites mentioned cripplechan being the place where he posted his manifesto.

The last and 3ed part of the prophecy, the part that hasn't happened was that this would somehow start a war.

Was there anything else or was the war and the shootings the voices' endgame. Feel like there must have been something more, like some good thing coming out of it despite those bad things or was that it?

fr, how tall is this bitch? would let her step on me

Wait nvm I get it, the voices were discouraging you from doing this. Most interesting

nvm, I've been lied to

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This is definitely something that happens, entities will try to discourage or encourage people to do things at crucial forks in a timeline. I have experienced this. I suspect malicious entities, they have a thing for guilt tripping people, make you feel like the shitty state of the world is on your hands when really it's all about their personal agenda

lmao thread ruined

I know right? Would have buried my face in her ass? Would probably still do it but now its not as hot

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Tbh the voices ever actually speak in words like we are rn. Usually images and feelings but this time it was just words tho I don't remember the real specific phrasing. So I'm a typical crazy and if they use words sometimes those words are downright silly and retarded like an imp is playing tricks on me. So when it was speaking in words using my own voice I was imidiatly like "NOPE not gonna listen faggoot" to it. Because like I said sometimes it's just stupid and unwise bullshit when its using actual human words. So there was no feelings whatso ever attached other than my own disbelief and trying to silence it. There was no doomsday feeling or anything epic at all. The only even remotely good thing was when it said the site would be a success. But even with the murder there was no emotions attached at all. Which normally they just telepathically only communicate with emotions and images and like to bypass human words all together.

Yep, that's basic telepathic communication right there. I experienced it the same exact way