>Wake up in the middle of the night will a ranging boner and a full bladder
How the fuck do I make these night erections go away? My dick is bent upwards so I can't piss with an erection otherwise it would spray all over the ceiling, I literally cannot point it downwards to piss so I have to stand around for 10 minutes for the boner to go down. Every. Fucking. Night.
Just piss whilst doing a handstand.
If you're already awake for a piss, you may as well get a bit of a workout at the same time.
Squeeze your glutes as hard as you can - the blood flow has to go to your ass (largest muscles in the body), diverting it from your penis and slowly ending the erection. Plus you get a mid-night glute pump
Two things. First you shouldn't be drinking 2 hours before going to bed, that solves the problem.
If you must, just lean against the wall at an angle and aim down it'll help.
What the fuck did you do to your dick that its a fucking howitzer?
Most men by your age have figured out that if they bend at the waist and stick their ass out, it allows them to piss just fine with an erection.
If I don't ingest liquid just before bed I'll wake up because my throat/mouth is parched
I feel like this can’t be true, because your glutes are your main fucking muscle
The slight discomfort from have to pee with a boner is nothing compared to the emotion toll of being impotent. Be happy you're healthy.
Go pee while jacking off
That's gay tho
I'm not joking it works. Think about it, if x% of blood that flows south of the heart is originally going to your dick, and suddenly you squeeze your glutes hard af, y% of blood needed in your ass will have to pull from the blood going to your dick. They're in the same hemisphere of the body so a bit of cannibalization of the resources occurs
>walk outside
>see how far your piss stream can go while boner'd
>go back to sleep
if this isnt a troll, just anteriorly rotate your pelvis and lean over to get it into the bowl. And a rock hard dick still has some play to push it down. Stop drinking 2-3 hours before you go to bed, and then pee right before you go to bed. Come on user, these are easy solutions.
Do you breathe through your mouth when you sleep? Whenever my nose is stuffed up end up mouth breathing while sleeping and wake up with dry mouth. Chapstick helps too
Need the original image, bud. I want to see that chubby lass
Who is this?
If youre regularly waking up in the middle of the night with a full bladder, you might have benign prostate hyperplastia, caused by excess DHT. Could be an early sign of balding or prostate/heart disease. Get it checked out.
turn on the shower, piss in the shower will full boner.
Shower needs to be on else it'll smell like your piss
>Stand in bathtub
>Piss
>Turn on shower after you're done if you're not a complete degenerate to rinse piss from tub/shower walls
>Go back to bed wondering why you got your reassignment surgery and if you can sue your doctor for not telling you about piss boners
Post dick
I just stand really far back
Just bend down at the waist. the dick's position when erect is fixed relative to the upper body, not the lower body. As you would know if you weren't impotent.
Your dick is hard so you don't piss yourself while you're asleep.
Use a short hose, stick your dick in the hose, then let loose while the other end is in the bowl.
Just do the superman
push your hips back and do a hip hinge movement basically think you are on the top of your deadlift going down a bit. then you can aim even with a boner.
No need to thank me user.
the boner is there BECAUSE you need to piss. it's an anti-piss mechanism your body initiates as you sleep. stop drinking water 2-4 hours before bedtime.
I unironically do the Lunge, it works every time
Go to the bathroom, then do curls or squats there. This will redirect the blood to your muscles, so you won't have to wait 10 minutes.
No joke, when I was a coomer I would need to pee every 30 minutes or so throughout the night, even I hadn't drunk anything. Now when I'm on nofap+noporn I get a full night's sleep and only pee in the morning when I wake up
>kekked
just lean your pelvis so your cock is facing the toilet, fuckin idiot.
this
Why would you pee with morning wood? Just wank and then pee flaccid.