Thinking of doing a detox / colon cleanse this weekend because I've got nothing going on

Thinking of doing a detox / colon cleanse this weekend because I've got nothing going on.

Any experience with this/recommendations? I want to clear out the sludge in my body and feel more clean

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coffee enema? how?

there's no such thing as a detox

if anything you're harming your body by consuming things that it will reject violently.

Chloe deserves a strong husband that can beat her through her anxiety

Are you a basic bitch?
Post belly button

The only "detox/cleanse" that has any value, and thus is worth doing, is a 24 hour fast. Anything else is snake oil garbage.

Just chug mineral oil until your intestines are a water slide

cumcumber and lime into water is the best detooooooooxxxxxxxxxxx

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There is no “sludge” in your body. As a human physiologist, the biggest fucking scam in the world is the concept of “detoxification”. I defy anyone to explain to me how something you drink or put up your ass can magically cause the concentration, metabolism, and elimination of a supposed illness causing compound. Your liver has some of the most efficient processes in your entire bids, and can regenerate from only 10%. It doesn’t expect, nor need assistance from some shit you try to eat or shove up your ass.

Heavy metal chelators are only useful for people with profound renal issues or overdoses from eating lead paint or drinking mercury or some other dumb shit that they deserve to die from.

You are the result of millions of years of evolution. Start acting like it. And if you don’t believe me, you deserve to have your money and time taken from you.

>Thinking of doing a detox / colon cleanse
jesus fucking christ people really do believe anything

just dry fast all day and drink smooth move tea at night with water

Based af.

> drinking healthy juices won't make your body better

Some parts do work, and the benefits are numerous enough to only be not defended in forums such as these.
Now go and study.

We have toxins in our body as we speak.

>because I have nothing else going on
buddy you gunna just fuck with your body because your bored?
eating wholefoods and not blending or juicing help keep fiber so if your going down the route of pintrest smoothies your going to have the opposite effects.
just eat some bran if you want to take a shit, any "cleanser" is fake because nothing does a better job then your kidneys and its only certain things that was mentioned that is medically necessary for some but definitely not to cure boredom.
do some push ups and learn to do it right that takes up some time right there.

Cardio/constant exercise is the way to do it. And to lose excess fat. That's how you will be able to feel "oxygenized" and fucking good, nothing will affect you. But all the things we are consuming are killing our cardio and oxygen levels, thus causing toxins to bulid up and us to feel like shit.

Cabbage soup makes you poop.

Anal shower, fast, clear simply

Antibiotics and activated charcoal

A sterile intestine isn't practical, but if it was it would be ideal

americans are legit insane. in what kind of odd as society is this normal. why do they all have such a weird dysfunctional attitude about health?

true, and all food is poison. forget about it and live life because there's nothing you can do about it

there are only two ways detoxing is possible, and you have to do them in combination to see results.

the first is aiding your liver by eating clean and abstaining from alcohol and drugs for a while.

the second is exercising (cardio/lifting doesnt matter, as long as you exert yourself) and taking hot-cold showers to stimulate your body sweating out the "toxins" (the shower doesnt have to be autistically hot and cold, as warm and cold as you can comfortably bear is completely alright)

there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ELSE you can do, anything else people might tell you to do is actually harmful.

luckily these two methods I mentioned are literally the only thing you need to stay healthy forever so congrats you are now a super human

woodberry

Aint that too short ? 4 real ?

There is no such thing as a detox. There is no "sludge" stuck in your guts unless you have literal parasites, which you can get tested and take medicine to kill (very quickly I may add).

Sudden change in nutrition level is novel enough to cause the body to release dopamine, which is why the imbeciles who do a colon cleanse say they feel better after. Same effect as fasting.

It has no actual health benefit, on the contrary you can potentially fuck up your gut bacteria by inducing what is basically artificial swampass.

Leave it to your body to decide when it needs to liquid shit everything out, because it usually has a good reason unless you have dysentery.

And no, you don't sweat out "toxins". Sweat is sweat. Your sweat glands produce sweat.

The benefits of hot/cold showers are psychological.

Try a salt water flush. Just mix 2 teaspoons of a non-iodized salt into a quart of water and chug it all at once. Wait like 30 minutes or so and get ready to shit water for like an hour.

Just fast for 3 days on nothing but salt water
Then break the fast with coconut oil

>I defy anyone to explain to me how something you drink or put up your ass can magically cause the concentration, metabolism, and elimination of a supposed illness causing compound
Papaya seeds for parasites
Coconut oil for fungus
Coriander for mercury

All of these are proven to work

>You are the result of millions of years of evolution. Start acting like it
I wish I could but you fuckheads force me to take vaccines

The other day I heard a woman chatting with another saying her friend took a "detox juice" and got thin as fuck
It all comes down to losing weight