My wife nearly weights 400 pound

I don't understand what happened. I have been encouraging her for years to eat healthier but she hardly ever tries. And even when she did, it never lasted more than a few days. Now this is the state of things. I'm terrified she's on her way to being immobile.

Problems from her size include pain in her joints, especially knees, ankles, and spine, taking a while to get up or down just a few stairs, doesn't fit in her car, I have to sleep in a separate bed, has broken a chair, always tired and no energy, perpetual constipation, and what I suspect is sleep apnea.

She lives off fast food delivery, packaged junk like chips, and candy. She probably eats more in one day than I do in several.

I don't buy this for her. Well, I don't order or physically obtain it, I mean. It is my money though because we have a joint account and she hasn't had a job since 2016 (whole other post).

She claims I'm abusing her for the following:

Wanting to give her a set amount of money a week for food

Saying she needs to lose weight

Questioning if I can remain in this marriage

Asking her to help out and clean up after herself

She says my objection to her weight is "shaming"

She says I'm trying to control her which is abuse.

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Why are you still with her

This can go a few ways, dude. You absolutely cannot save her on your own without actually going into an abusive place, however:

You can stick around if you love her, and encourage her and maybe make a difference.

You can stick around if you love her, try and fail, and watch her die, and have to carry that with you for the rest of your life.

Or you can leave. I understand it's marriage, and that makes things complicated, but at the end of the day, leaving is just leaving. That might be what you have to do.

divorces are messy. i dont feel comfortable going through it

If no meme, then get the fuck out. Especially if you haven't spawned a kid yet

If you have a kid, then I'm sorry for you.

Homie,

Look up the power and control wheel. If she honestly is making those statements towards you, she's destroying the equality in your marriage, not you.

I can understand 200+ pounds for a TALL woman who had medical issues, a bad pregnancy, etc. But nearly 400 pounds? That's no wife, that's a battlestation...

Honestly, talk to her about counseling, for both of you, for her eating disorder, or whatever trauma is causing her lack of common sense for her health.

If she refuses - you have your answer.

You're fucked, dude. Get a divorce and hope to find a better woman if you aren't too old. No kids helps a lot. And I hope you weren't stupid with how you set up your finances but it sounds like you have everything in both of your names so enjoy having everything taken from you when you separate. Maybe if you remarry you'll be smart enough to have multiple bank accounts that have nothing to do with her.

>She says my objection to her weight is "shaming"
So she's the typical whale in denial. If you have any pictures of herself when she was slim, you'd probably make her react, might be too much for her to handle.

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You got pics to share OP?

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