There's not enough toilet paper to go around, and the underclasses are starting to get desperate

Mmh. I hope you're not underestimating the problem. Intelligence suggest they're behind the sharts in Marts.

A bunch of pretentious old farts playing at the runs, but the world shat them out long ago. We are the feces!

I have about 40 rolls in my house and 4 people who use it. Should I get more? Last I checked the store was still stocked up.

kek

I have someone in place though.

I've got a massive stockpile
Soon you will bow to your new king

Let it spill into the schools and the churches.

Has he shit and been unable to wipe yet?

Oh yes, most certainly. When we mentioned we could put him on the priority list for a bidet he was so willing it was almost pathetic.

Number one: In 1945 corporations paid for 50 percent of employee's toilet paper. Now they pay about 5 percent.