It's over

Fuck. I think I might have given myself a testicular torsion. Went for a swim at the beach this morning and my balls started feeling weird whilst in the water. When I got out I noticed that one of my balls was not in it's usual position and was a little swollen.

Now I'm sitting at home with a stabbing pain in my abdomen and a ballsack that has swollen even further. I really don't want to go to hospital right now anons. Don't want to get the 'rona but I'm scared of losing my balls.

Is there a way to self-medicate a testicular torsion? Can I reset my ballsack?

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doctor here, you're dead buddy

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Good luck fren, it might be blue balls from cooming
Also you can try a manual detorsion but that shit's painful as FUCK, it is what it sounds like- try and untwist that shit

Reading this shit is giving me anxiety. I hope your ball is saved. I don't think there's much you can do on your own.

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If you can figure out which way they're twisted you can literally just untangle them.... But you'd want to be careful!

Btw this was almost definitely caused by sitting at the computer too much.

The thought of untangling your balls holy shit.

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Dont try it yourself, it could make it worse. The faster you get to the hospital the more likely you'll save your balls

>testicular torsion
>during a pandemic
I don't know how to help you user and I definitely would not want to be you right now. Godspeed.

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happened to me last year. have a shower and try ease the painful one back into positionby rotating it. you'll feel the most pain if you turn it the wrong way but naturally it will want to turn back in the right way

Go over to /lgbt/ they'll show you how to cut that badboy right off yourself.

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god i am so sorry

knuckle through the pain until the darkness consumes you and you will fly to heaven

it's just corona-chan giving you a pickle tickle with her feets. cut them off you'll be fine.

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LOL top kek!! XD

You can do it but make sure you don't untwist them clockwise when should be going counter-clockwise. Ouch!

>user corrects his twisted balls in the shower by himself

Jesus dude...just reading it makes my balls hurt.

What the fuck.. Okay well I am going to give 's suggestion a try. The warm water will probably soften my balls up.

Wish me luck anons. The pain isn't actually too bad right now but it's coming in waves..

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Damn that sucks

I took a giant shit a couple days ago and tore my asshole and now I have blood streaked turds for the time being.

We have to fight through the pain m8. PAin is weakness leaving the body.

go to a doctor jesus christ
the longer you wait the higher chance you will lose them

Call the ambulance now! No bill is worth losing your balls

Doctor here user, the only hope you have to save yourself is first understanding what a torsion actually is, your balls are essentially twisted, so in order to untwist them you've kinda gotta manhandle yourself a great deal, it'll be very painful but how I usually do it for patients is first I warm the room up a bit to get the sack loose and then stretch the balls apart and slowly untwist them. Hope you know what direction they're twisted but if you send 'em the wrong way you'll find out pretty quick.

sounds like you have aids.

how does such a thing even happen? what can i do to avoid being in op's position?

Go the hospital right now unless you wanna lose your balls or even your life.
They might've twisted around so much that blood flow has been cut off. If so, they're gonna go necrotic soon, and then gangrenous, and then you'll go into septic shock and probably die.
Even if not, if you're in pain then that means that your boys are getting put in places they shouldn't be, which might cause permanent damage if it's not fixed soon.
Godspeed user.

Go to the hospital retard. Unless you're 80 years old, in which case I dont think youd be worried about your balls anyways.

Please keep us updated
Make sure that it's actually testicular torsion don't bust your balls trying to fix something random and actually need to go to the hospital

Jesus Christ

Get to the ER my man, no shame, hurry up and save your future faps.. I went to the ER in February over some breathing difficulties, thought I had corona but it was mild pneumonia from being outside all night.
Better safe than sorry.

Go to the hospital dumbass

If you feel throbbing and pulsing, your only a few moments away from complete circulation loss

>I noticed that one of my balls
how many balls u hab?

Why the fuck have I had both Of these problems. I can manually untwist my ball as it barely goes 180. Also shit out a burrito and had bloody painful shits for a couple months until it healed.

I'm a doctor. If you post a picture of the affected region I can tell you if you have testicular torsion or simply inflammation.

you are going to have to operate user
get the following items
a knife, a coffee cup (to sharpen knife),
booze (sterilize the wound), jar, some glove(dish washing gloves will do), thread and needle.

>blood streaked turds for the time being.
Is the blood fresh red or dark black? If it's dark black, you might be bleeding into your intestines or have colon cancer.

one benefit of being a tranny is youll never have this problem :)

Become a female user.

What the fuck I had no idea my balls could do this, wtf man I already live life with enough paranoia now this just added more fuel to the flame FML

same, I've been feeling aches around/in the tubes that connect to your balls but lately it hasn't been so bad
the first week I tried to fap it off but it ended up giving me great pain in the left nut, I was just laying there paralyzed with a hard cock and pulsating nut pain

The fuck? But it doesn't even feel that bad right now. Fuck it i'm going to the hospital. What is the mortality rate for coronavirus?

Based and pink-pilled.

Find the nearest leaf and get him to suck your balls for you

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It only happens if your balls are deformed or something like a bell clapper

Go to the hospital user. The sooner you get professional medical advice the better

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Thank God dude. you had all of us worried for your ballsack.

I hurt just thinking about it.

Godspeed user

Don't risk a hospital, lad. Just pop it out with a spoon and be glad you still have one more to play with.

Good luck man
We're all praying for your nuts

fuck i once had mondors disease..literally broke a vessel on my penis...shit looked like a solid cord inside my dick..took a couple of aspirins and literally hot and wet compresss for a week until it finally subsided.

It's a parasite

Punch yourself in the stomach really hard so your balls inch upwards and then punch yourself in the nuts just as hard to stretch them back down and into alignment. The timing has to be just right so a partner would help. The rule of thumb is to listen to Dre's next episode and gutshot yourself on "Up" in "Hol up" and then nutshot yourself on "Hey".

Trust me. I'm an expert.

You will be fine unless you are a boomer
Go to the hospital now

first sharpen knife on the rim of the bottom of the coffe cup, sharpen blade cutting towards the cup gliding it not cutting into it until sharp enough to cut easily

Thats a trip to the ER bud. Don't take chances with your balls. Circulation could be cut off and you could die at worst but probably lose your balls. Happen to a buddy and he has a fake ball now because he waited

Go to the ER you retard. It's probably epididymitis from being a faggot.

Watch a yt video first to see if it’s something you can fix.

hurry up m8 you've got less than 2 hours before you lose them for good

Fuck that sounds painful

Don't worry about it m8, you live in Australia, health care is covered. This is what we pay tax for. Do not take the chance of having your testicles damaged. Best to know, even for peace of minds sake.

For whatever it's worth, I went to the clinic 3-4 years ago because I had a pimple on my dick. I didn't know what it was, maybe stds, turns out a regular zit, on my penis.

In the process got my cock and balls checked out by female nurse, doctor and ultra sound tech. Great experience.

Get it checked out, m8.

yeah dude that sucks, shit happened to me when I slept on my side. left ball was massive and throbbing pain in the morning.

Going to the hospital now is absolutely fucked but go if the pain gets worse. If you actually were at risk you'd not be posting because the pain would be so insane.

Not politics. Post some BBC

Have you tried rage jerking it until your balls bounce to see if they suddenly rearrange themselves correctly?

HOLY FUCK OP, I WISH I KNEW HOW TO HELP BUT JFC

next sterilize gloves, needle thread and knife, lay ontop of kitchen table, and spread your balls on the table, make an incision centre of sack where ball is contained not the sack itself

Yeah killing yourself prevents a whole swarth of potential problems

Sounds more like a hernia
Go to hospital unless you want half your intestines bursting through your ball sack

GO TO THE HOSPITAL NOW IDGAF
IF YOU GIVE FUCK ALL ABOUT YOUR BALLS YOU WILL GET THAT SHIT FIXED NOW. Usually its 12 hours but it could be damaged severely just fucking go you pussy get it taken care of or you you end up offing yourself from having no balls or no children

Oh shit FREE HOSPITAL VISITS. OP confirmed a fag for waiting so long.

I hope he posts an update from his phone when he gets to the hospital

god speed

That sounds very very horrible and I feel for you lad, glad you're better now though. I had no idea of such a condition.

BOMB NUTS

pull out testicle now, oh shit i forgot you need rubber bands, ok try to get some rubber bands quick tuck your testicle in or hold it while rummaging around for rubber bands

Hahahahaha same!

do you have the rubber bands?

I'm sorry buddy, when I was a lad I was riding my bike on a sidewalk with a bunch of parked cars on the curb and I accidentally slammed into the front of one full force and send my tender dick and balls flying right into the handlebar of the bike and split my sack open. The pain was worse than anything I've ever experienced since then.

Wtf is this thread. Omfg. Lmao. Is this just a bunch of faggots injuring themselves from over jerking it? Lol

Calm down Ellen

>They were going to operate to fix it but they suddenly just untwisted themselves and it was fine.
based.

Good lols bro.

It's red as fuck like very red. Like I said, I tore my asshole from a big ass shit. Sometimes if your butthole is dry and you have sandpaper tier TP, that can cause a problem too.

Never had ball twist disease thankfully but I can say that my ass kinda hurts. If someone ever retorts saying that I'm butthurt, they aren't technically wrong. BA DUM TSH

You should masturbate. If it's blue balls, masturbation should help. If it's a torsion, nothing will help.

Probably should go to the doctor anyway.

Jesus I don’t even have balls and reading this hurt me.

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Man get to the hospital now. It can kill you, I've had a twisted nut and had to have it operated on to save my life.

HEY AUSSIE NIGGER! You better reply when you come back from the hospital/make a new thread updating us! Good luck user! I want you to make it so you can live long enough to teach your kids to properly shitpost to my country

Oh shit I just found out that testi torsion is only the one ball doing 360s, my friend who had it told me one ball wraps around the other and I was trying to figure out how that's possible since my balls seem to be separated by some sort of internal membrane.

Well why the fuck would you have to go to the hospital for that?
It's easy to rotate your testi, I've done it out of curiousity, and it can't be hard to figure out which way!!

bright red blood is fine
if it's dark that means internal bleeding

Anyone else feels really dizzy when someone talks about the balls not being in the right condition?

If it's as easy as you say, surgery for testicular torsion wouldn't be a thing.

HILARIOUS, THANKS FOR THE LAUGH AHAHA

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>wtf
>omfg
>lmao
I assume you can't read, but none of us said it occurred from fapping retard

I've had two friends who got it, both during their peak WoW days. Sitting on your hot sweaty ballsack for hours on end makes those little fellas go crazy.
You've got to give them some relief every now and then!

>testicular torsion
>not in its usual position
I went to the hospital because I had nut pain when I was 18. I wore jeans that were too tight in the nut region and that's how I figured I got it. When I went to the hospital/ER and told them why I was there, they moved very fast. They immediately moved me into a room then got me an ultra sound on my sack. Very soon after, they put an IV into me to prepare me for surgery if I needed it.

Turns out it was an enlarged vein which was causing the pain. I was very relieved.

But user. Whatever you do, don't try and fixing it yourself by twisting your nuts.

You should consider going to the hospital because of your abdomen pain. I don't know the full extent, but if you can self-quarantine after going to the hospital then maybe due it. Even if it's more rural one a few hours away. This is serious. I'll be praying to Jesus for you.
It can fix itself. Just let your balls kind of hang out. But the pain you're feeling makes it sound like you should get it checked out at a hospital and then just self quarantine.

Was it left nut only or did the whole thing ache?

this

lolz

left nut only, it might be cancer desu

Rotating my testi right now as I write out this post.

Goto the hospital have a nurse untangle for you

>testicular torsion
How the fuck is this even possible? FUCK.

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SEND HELP, MY SIDES ARE GONE

Lmfao!!!! So basically you saw op getting attention and then your balls started twisting too?

Just kill yourself.

Just cut them off, throw in frying pan with some seasoning. Might as well now.

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Keep us updated.

This happened to me once. I slept in my underwear and one of my balls made it's way out the side. It didn't hurt at first, but about 36 hours late I was limping around and had to take two days off work. I used ice to ease the pain, but it didn't do much. I went to the doctor and the female pajeet did not seem to care. It took a couple of weeks to heal and I still feel pain from time to time, two years later. Sorry user, you have to live with this. I have had a child, confirmed mine, since then though.

top fucking lel

I don't think pain from cancer comes right after the fap, have you done a lump check or something yet?

Take your meds lmfao

>confirmed mine
Nice.

yes user I know lol. I wouldn't have posted if it was serious, t b h

I saw it today and thought, "damn, what the fuck did I eat"

I think not shitting for like 2 days was a bad idea. Then again, never had to go until that shit.

I think OP is either driving to the hospital or getting his nuts cut out by the doctors right now

My balls hurt now.

x2

also cheked

If you're losing blood flow you could go sterile, go to the doctor.

I had this when I was 11 years old. I needed surgery to get both fixed and I was good after that. Good luck to you OP don't wait too long or otherwise rip balls.

What a fag

mate i had torsion when i was a kid, if it stays twisted for about 6hrs, your nut is gone, i had to have surgery to split my sack and rotate it back, then they put stitches in to stop it from twisting again. Couldn't run for 3-6 months. Fuck it was painful.

no but sometimes it feels numb, which I read is a symptom of cancer

Btw all you lads stretch your balls out regularly right?
Healthy stretched out hangers are less likely to get themselves into a torsion.

You really should check it just in case

Testicular pain is also a symptom of Corona, so you might already be fucked OP.

(Or not, ever again for that matter)

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God was wise enough to give you two. You'll be fine.