I just had to take a shower after having a shit because I have no fucking toilet paper...

I thought aussies still used their hands...

Congratulations. You are now a sandnigger... Of course, they tend to have water to handwash their ass, making you a degenerate snadigger.

I dry wipe then wet wipe. Then dry wipe again. Till I see blood

3 seashells

Why didn't you just shit in the shower? It's all pipes

Cock and baww towtuwwe (cbt), penis towtuwwe ow dick towtuwwe is a sexuwaw activity invowving appwication of pain ow constwiction to the penis ow testicwes. This may invowve diwectwy hpainfuww activities, suwch as genitaw piewcing, wax pway, genitaw spanking, squweezing, baww-buwsting, genitaw fwogging, uwwethwaw pway, tickwe towtuwwe, ewotic ewectwostimuwwation, kneeing ow kicking.[1] the wecipient of suwch activities may weceive diwect physicaw pweasuwwe via masochism, ow emotionaw pweasuwwe thwouwgh ewotic huwmiwiation, ow knowwedge that the pway is pweasing to a sadistic dominant. Many of these pwactices cawwy significant heawth wisks.[2]
devices and pwactices
top weft: ewotic ewectwostimuwwation. Top wight: twampwing the penis. Bottom weft: wax pway. Bottom wight: chastity piewcing.
simiwaw to many othew sexuwaw activities, cbt can be pewfowmed uwsing toys and devices to make the penis and testicwes mowe easiwy accessibwe fow attack, ow fow fowepway puwwposes.[3][4]
baww stwetchew

a metaw baww stwetchew and cock wing, which fowces penis' ewection.
a baww stwetchew is a sex toy that is uwsed to ewongate the scwotuwm and pwovide a feewing of weight puwwwing the testicwes away fwom the body. This can be pawticuwwawwy enjoyabwe fow the weawew as it can make an owgasm mowe intense, as testicwes awe pwevented fwom moving uwp. Intended to make one's testicwes pewmanentwy hang muwch wowew than befowe (if uwsed weguwwawwy fow extended pewiods of time), this sex toy can be potentiawwy hawmfuww to the mawe genitaws as the ciwcuwwation of bwood can be easiwy cuwt off if ovew-tightened.

whiwe weathew stwetchews awe most common, othew modews consist of an assowtment of steew wings that fastens with scwews, cauwsing additionaw buwt onwy miwdwy uwncomfowtabwe weight to the weawew's testicwes. The wength of the stwetchew may vawy fwom 1-4 inches.[5] a mowe dangewouws type of baww stwetchew can be home-made simpwy by wwapping wope ow stwing awouwnd one's scwotuwm uwntiw it*

god forbid you wash your stinky ass retard pointless thread

>Literal dumbass.
If you're hopping in the shower after taking a dump use a spare wash cloth you fucking tard, then toss that shit in the washer and bleach the fuck out of it

COPE HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

if this thread is political incorrect, then what's the political correct version of it?

>i pooped so hard I bled
>no, you WIPED so hard you bled.

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shoulda stocked up normie, I bought a 20 pack before the panic started which should last me about 4 months.

>and then the kangaroos clapped

Literally me

>not using the 3 seashell method

Lmao pathetic

I just see blood immediately on the first try.

degenerate

This could be a good doomer or consoomer video

wipe your ass with money, its going to be worthless soon anyway

>Bathtub on
>Butt open
How hard is it, faggot? How is it that nobody fucking understands what water is? Oh, you don't have toilet paper? Boo FUCKING hoo, you god damn retarded nigger. Do we have to spell it out for you? Do you need an adult to give every last refined detail so that you can finally learn how to operate a faucet, you dirty donkey? I can't wait until the moment one of lot enter my humble abode so I can magdump on your brainless, shitty ass.

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>distributing your shit all over yourself and the toilet and possibly the toilet's surroundings with a water jet
What's it like falling for a meme practiced primarily by >people with the reputation of stinking like shit, namely the french and the middle easterns?

Obligatory Ach Kevin.

6 rolls
$1
Lasts 6 weeks.
You mad?
Kick all the females out of your house. A six pack of this lasts 5 days with women here.

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>overcomplicating cleaning your asshole with a shower
yep, you have autism

Cringe m8. You don’t put down three tiles of TP on each side of the toilet seat to sit on so your ass isn’t directly touching the surface other asses have touched?

This would’ve allowed you to realize there was no toilet paper to begin with

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>I thought it was a nothing burger so now I have a dirty ass
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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>because I have no fucking toilet paper.
You are literally the only nigger in the world that doesn't.

>this terrifies the "first worlder"

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Is TP still sold out? Lmao. I felt like an asshole buying it last week.

Is it just me or when you stretch your asscheeks to wash it in water it stings like a bitch and feels like an earthquake in my asshole has just happened is it just me or does anyone else expierence this?

Also I drop a few tiles on the surface of the water to prevent my droppings from splashing and acting as an involuntary bidet

use a tabo or bowl u dumb groid

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Bidets are relatively clean

Showering shit out of your ass is disgusting and dirty. You could get a blood infection.

Yes, I dont like water up my asshole or anything for that matter

Yep. Even in my small town of 13k people

>it stings like a bitch and feels like an earthquake in my asshole has just happened is it just me or does anyone else expierence this?

are you on PCP?

There’s so many low IQ people.

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>he shit so unhealthy, sticky and unformed that he needs to shower

Dude, poo is supposed to come out pretty much trace free.
You don't see any other animal wipe their asses outside of a few licks here and there.

But humans with their slave grain diet need to fucking wrap their hands like a medieval gauntlet to keep the pitchblende coming out of their diabetic anuses at bay.

you get used to it. use soap and get in there aussie bro. Your asshole will appreciate the extra cleanliness. Don’t forget to get under your fingernails and make sure everything washes down the drain

fpbp

Use a water pistol or a spray bottle. Easy cheap fix.

You should bathe more regularly. It's important to wash your asshole to avoid shartmart streaks.

>India furiously writing down notes

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Just get some Napkins son. Sheeeeit.

You say hoarding I say prepared.
No one to blame but yourself. What, do you only keep 3 rolls in your house at any given point in time? Moron.

Yas Forums was warning about this for months

Good, you finally became civilized.

This

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>mfw I just stockpile out of habit
>even when I moved with nothing I still showed up with toilet paper
>also have over 1600 wipes and cannot make a meaningful dent in that number even if I tried
So far life has been peaceful. It has showed me that I need to introduce more food variety though.

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the Pajeets were ahead of us in using hand to wipe ass all the fucking time. They knew. That what they mean when they said superpower by 2020.

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I always wafflestomp, saves a load of money. Don't need toilet paper, don't need to clean the toilet as often, hell I probably don't even really need a toilet. Shit during my shower every morning, clean my asshole with my fingers and soap so I can feel if there's anything left, and then go about my day completely assured my butt is cleaner than anyone else's who's been smearing it with a dry paper square.
Of course this doesn't work for amerisharts with awful diets who have unpredictable explosive diarrhea five times a day.