/cvg/ - Corona Virus General #2111 - PANDEMIC EDITIONS

► Detected: 169,126 ► Died: 6,492

>NEWS
Spain police clears the streets, "Go back to your homes!"
archive.is/98OTl

Germany to close borders with France, Austria, Switzerland
archive.is/du2Du

Austria under lockdown, 8 million people
archive.is/X8GWA

Serbia under lockdown, affecting 7 million people
archive.is/Totbu

UK cancels "herd immunity" plan amid controversy
archive.is/LPzA5

>RESEARCH
23 year old football player dies in Iran
archive.is/RQEby

Patients infectious after "recovery"
archive.is/tjjat

South Korea "recovered" case reinfected
archive.is/Gv1iu

Virus hides in neurons, indefinitely escapes recognition
archive.is/6NGuH

HIV-like mutation made it 1000 times more infectious than SARS
archive.is/xwQVe

>REMINDER
Infected come out negative 50 to 70% of the time
archive.is/yyGJm

Indian man tests negative, dies of pneumonia next day
archive.is/HpyTu

Australia expects 1.5 million infected
archive.is/KqjHY

China province outbreak 52 times worse than admitted
archive.is/N3xns

China industrial capacity estimated to be at 50-60%
archive.is/MrQFb

>LATEST CASES
19:44: 1,228 new cases and 3 new deaths in Germany.
19:41: 1,452 new cases and 96 new deaths in Spain.
19:39: 924 new cases and 36 new deaths in France.
17:10: 3,590 new cases and 368 new deaths in Italy.
15:40: 232 new cases and 14 new deaths in the United Kingdom.
11:03: 1,209 new cases and 113 new deaths in Iran.
08:39: 10 new cases in Norway.

>MORE
pastebin.com/raw/qy5RFpVX

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Other urls found in this thread:

mega.nz/#F!iLBgGQgB!-bgtUnvelP_YBpZW1zcLMQ
youtube.com/watch?v=C1ZEOApXiyM
cdc.gov/flu/pandemic-resources/pdf/pan-flu-report-2017v2.pdf
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Welcome_to_Germany_(2016_film)
youtube.com/watch?v=yhQ4uOcYk1s
youtube.com/watch?v=fFBxhOwQz1I&feature=youtu.be
theguardian.com/world/2020/mar/15/uk-coronavirus-crisis-to-last-until-spring-2021-and-could-see-79m-hospitalised
youtube.com/watch?v=fFBxhOwQz1I&feature=emb_logo
buzzfeednews.com/article/jasonleopold/nsa-coronavirus-influenza-pandemic-plan-protect
archive.is/OpR1d
t.me/coronavirus_timeline
10tv.com/article/gov-dewine-announces-closure-ohio-bars-dine-restaurants-2020-mar
youtube.com/watch?v=fFBxhOwQz1I
youtu.be/nSrhE80AhDc
youtube.com/watch?v=ZXGWZonPNjI
twitter.com/NSFWRedditGif

>LATEST CHANGES
China +25 (+10) Italy +3,590 (+368) Iran +1,209 (+113) S. Korea +76 (+3) Spain +1,452 (+96) Germany +1,214 (+2) France +924 (+36) US +678 (+6) Switzerland +842 (+1) UK +251 (+14) Netherlands +176 (+8) Sweden +79 (+1) Denmark +28 (+1) Japan +35 (+2) Greece +103 (+1) Australia +52 (+2) Philippines +29 (+3) Algeria +9 (+1) Hungary +2 (+1) Norway +141 Belgium +197 Austria +205 Malaysia +190 Qatar +64 Canada +65 Cze. Rep. +64 Portugal +76 Finland +19 Singapore +14 Slovenia +38 Bahrain +2 Israel +20 Iceland +14 Estonia +56 Ireland +41 H. Kong +7 Romania +16 Egypt +16 Poland +21 Iraq +14 S. Arabia +15 Indonesia +21 Thailand +32 India +12 Kuwait +8 Lebanon +6 UAE +13 Luxembourg +26 Chile +14 Peru +28 Russia +4 Slovakia +17 S. Africa +23 Taiwan +6 Vietnam +3 Pakistan +20 Bulgaria +10 Brunei +10 Croatia +10 Serbia +2 Mexico +17 Albania +4 Ecuador +9 C. Rica +8 Colombia +10 Georgia +3 Cyprus +7 Latvia +4 Morocco +10 Armenia +6 Bosnia +3 Azerbaijan +4 Moldova +11 Oman +2 Malta +3 Tunisia +2 S. Lanka +8 Afghanistan +5 Maldives +3 Cambodia +5 Lithuania +3 Macao +1 Faeroes +1 Jordan +9 Jamaica +2 Venezuela +8 Kazakhstan +3 Liechtenstein +3 Reunion +1 Ghana +4 Andorra +4 Rwanda +4 Guyana +3 Ivory C. +2 Ethiopia +3 Uzbekistan +4 B. Faso +1 Guam +3 Kenya +2 Seychelles +1 St. Lucia +1 Bahamas +1 Cen. Afr. Rep. +1 Congo +1… Total +12,524 (+669)

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>"COUUUUUUGHHHHHH"

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Listen here Jack, let me set you straight. This thing isn't going anywhere. Back in my day we didn't call it covid whatever; we called it the "Shanghai Shivers". I used to know a guy, went by the name Cornflake Jackson. Ol' Cornflake used to play guitar down at the pool hall. Here's the deal, fat: if Cornflake Jackson says the Shanghai Shivers, "Ain't no thang" you can take that to the bank, buckaroo. That's how I know you're full of shit. I'd punch your daughter straight in the mouth.

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>surge of cases reported in broward county

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>Corona-chan Vending Machine
>v3: mega.nz/#F!iLBgGQgB!-bgtUnvelP_YBpZW1zcLMQ

Send new coronas, I got unbanned after three days.

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COVID-19 is actually SAVING lives:

>babies killed each day through abortion ww
~60,000 (~32,000 white/european, over 53%)
>95% reduction in abortions
~57,000 babies saved everyday (~30,210 white babies) if the whole world is put under complete lockdown
>COVID-19 deaths after 3 MONTHS
~6,500

That's a net gain of more than 56,000 lives per day. And that's obviously not taking into consideration other lives that would be saved: less car accidents, less homicides, etc.

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Thread Theme
youtube.com/watch?v=C1ZEOApXiyM

cdc.gov/flu/pandemic-resources/pdf/pan-flu-report-2017v2.pdf

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It was already the #1 film in Germany in 2016, made 20 million euro

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Welcome_to_Germany_(2016_film)
youtube.com/watch?v=yhQ4uOcYk1s

youtube.com/watch?v=fFBxhOwQz1I&feature=youtu.be

Chinks did this

Can someone redpill me on Powdered goods? I've got a friend who owns a Supplements place and he can get me a big discount on a fuckdown of protein and dried vegetable mixes that even come loaded with multivitamins. Sounds like I could get all the greens I need for the day in one scoop?
Normally I prefer fresh but I hate having to brave the coofers every week and the fact all the veges at the market aren't covered at all makes me fucking nervous, even if I do thoroughly wash and cook everything I buy.

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>BREAKING: Federal Reserve slashes interest rates to ZERO in massive emergency intervention for the US economy

BREAKING: Federal Reserve slashes interest rates to ZERO in massive emergency intervention for the US economy

>BREAKING: Federal Reserve slashes interest rates to ZERO in massive emergency intervention for the US economy

BREAKING: Federal Reserve slashes interest rates to ZERO in massive emergency intervention for the US economy

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theguardian.com/world/2020/mar/15/uk-coronavirus-crisis-to-last-until-spring-2021-and-could-see-79m-hospitalised

it's ogre

Finland has clean air, excellent health care, healthy people and plenty of "social isolation" already. We'll be fine.

anime

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Can we make it 700 deaths before midnight?

UPDATE OF SITUATION IN RUSSIA
Universities and schools all across the country to suspend presencial classes and move to online. My university (St. Petersburg state university) has cancelled most classes for tomorrow, an official statement is expected to come out tomorrow and university is to be closed from Tuesday.
Info from teachers and students in social networks. Official information tomorrow morning.
IT
IS
FUCKING
HAPPENING

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Only Americans know this feeling btw.

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GET IN THE CHAT WHITE HOUSE TRUMP CONFERENCE youtube.com/watch?v=fFBxhOwQz1I&feature=emb_logo

>TEN (10) NEW CASES IN TURKEY
TEN (10) NEW CASES IN TURKEY
>TEN (10) NEW CASES IN TURKEY
TEN (10) NEW CASES IN TURKEY
>TEN (10) NEW CASES IN TURKEY
TEN (10) NEW CASES IN TURKEY
>TEN (10) NEW CASES IN TURKEY
TEN (10) NEW CASES IN TURKEY
>TEN (10) NEW CASES IN TURKEY
TEN (10) NEW CASES IN TURKEY

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>A family member from DC sent this text out to family members today. Anyone seen or heard anything about this?
Fwd:
Please be advised, within 48 to 72 Hours the president will evoke what is called the Stafford act. Just got off the phone with some of my military friends up in DC who just got out of a two hour briefing. The president will order a two week mandatory quarantine for the nation. Stock up on whatever you guys need to make sure you have a two week supply of everything. Please forward to your network..

buzzfeednews.com/article/jasonleopold/nsa-coronavirus-influenza-pandemic-plan-protect
>The Department of Health and Human Services has recommended that intelligence community personnel have at least three months’ worth of food on hand in the event of an uncontrolled pandemic.
>Since 2013, BuzzFeed News has filed more than two dozen public records requests with multiple federal agencies seeking their influenza pandemic plans. Many agencies have refused
>The NSA did not respond to a request for comment about whether the contingency plan it issued a decade ago has been updated and if it can be applied to the coronavirus pandemic
>“The IC has numerous missions requiring a global workforce presence, Agencies are developing preparation and response plans consistent with federal guidelines and regulations.”
>The top level is at “Category 5” — at which at least 2% of infected people die. “Assuming a 1918-like pandemic and no effective response,” the document said, more than 1.9 million Americans would die and 9.9 million others would require hospitalization.
>HHSupdatedits pandemic influenza plan in 2017.
archive.is/OpR1d

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So... this is a nothingburger, right?

Where are my anxiety bros?

Hello guys, I’ve developed telegram bot to tracking ONLY new cases and death, no shitty news and other stuff.

t.me/coronavirus_timeline or @coronavirus_timeline

Pic strongly related

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luv me gas mask
luv me filters
luv me hazmat suit
'ate the chinks
'ate the herd

simple as

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Sauce nigger

yea,you spergs should be fine

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third inning

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what happens if i post this screenshot?

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good

>tfw coronachan is making me cook dinner for first time in months
Corn chowder or mac and cheese with Vienna sausages?

I have to do something with all this milk...

not gonna make it.

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might be infected after starting to wage again, how fucked am i?

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Ohio is a hell now 10tv.com/article/gov-dewine-announces-closure-ohio-bars-dine-restaurants-2020-mar

My cuntry lying for sure. No way only 8 cases. 9k in self isolation atm.

Is tomorrow the day when we eclipse 1k deaths/day

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>theguardian.com/world/2020/mar/15/uk-coronavirus-crisis-to-last-until-spring-2021-and-could-see-79m-hospitalised

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I have some of those powders. Can't red pill you on it but its not like they wouldn't work. You'll piss it out quickly if you rely on it so make sure it stays what it is: A supplement.

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Remember that you will have to retreat from Syria

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(((URGENT))) PRESS CONFERENCE LIVE
youtube.com/watch?v=fFBxhOwQz1I

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Rumors are Russia is going to quarantine next week. Fuck. Knowing my people it will be complete and utter panic here. Also, fuck normies who laughed at me for "flu hoax"

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gake and fay

coof droplets stay in cold air longer though man, stay safe

Made a video for you fellow frens enjoy.

youtu.be/nSrhE80AhDc

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Get protein powder, healthy fats (butter, coconut), multivitamin, C, D3, zinc, potassium chloride, non-perishable carbs.

OH-NON-NON-NON

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>turkey tested 10 people
ah congrats

>BREAK GLASS IN CASE OF EMERGENCY

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Fake news.

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Why are gen x so insufferable?

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Sauce?

I OFFICIALLY REPENT
I WAS A NOTHINGBURGERER BUT NOW PARIS IS GOING ON LOCKDOWN

AAAAAH BROS I HAVE 2 PACKS OF PASTA AND ONLY TWELVE TP ROLLS

OH FUCK

Welcome to the party, Pierre.

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If Germany hit around 25.000 cases by Friday next week, all German anons should start praying to corona chan. Only she can save you.

GET IN HEREE
"URGENT PRESS CONFERENCE"
ETA 5 MINUTES.
GET IN HERE MUTTS
youtube.com/watch?v=fFBxhOwQz1I&feature=emb_logo

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That's adorable

>you
I don't care about that shithole

I don't understand.

‘ow can i be racist, yeah, if me mask wos made in china yeah?

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>THROW MORE MONEY AT IT!!!

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youtube.com/watch?v=ZXGWZonPNjI

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stop attacking greece
retreat from syria
fucking islamist pieces of shitfuck

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Mac n cheese, save the sausages use bacon

Yesss yesss, good Mr. Rothschild. Now decrease supplies of toilet paper by 25%

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ELDERBERRY SYRUP.

GET ELDERBERRY SYRUP.

He didn't buy the dip.

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güldür güldür bölüm
yörüm görüm dörüm

>people are panicking so hard phone-lines are down
fuck this is actually surreal
i didn't think it would get this bad

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First case confirmed in my county of about 250k people
Kinos for this feel?

>herd immunity meme
How does it feel to be betrayed, yet again, by your own government?

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waving white flag already, frenchies?

Cool, I can't wait tio see Macron get himself injected with Corona on live TV.

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merely delaying the ineviteable.

Gen X, the first and only to grow up in a shitty broken home. Thank God the nuclear family was fixed and perfected after them.

That’s basically the panic button for the Federal Reserve to keep the markets steady. The only move left is negative interest rates.

Truly patrician - happy with your own shithole
lul