This it

Wash your asshole.

Honestly you people laugh at toilet paper hoarders, but you really dont have enough toilet paper yourselves. The average person uses 1 roll per day. If you have a family of 4, that's 28 rolls a week. Over 100 a month. TP rolls will be worth their weight in gold in a few months, because everyone needs it.

>not ripping the carton apart and using that as a last resort

you had months to stock up
this shit has been hyped up here since january

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>what is a shower
Lol you fucking retard. Shit thread

honestly though nobody actually needs toilet paper. I just leave the poo in my butt and walk around with it keeps normies at bay too which is good in these times. Just clean up in your shower at night.

slide thread!

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F. May your shits not stick to your asshole.

>The average person uses 1 roll per day

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you can wipe your ass with the roll bro. batchelor tips 101.

>he didn't stock up

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I know it's just a copy pasta but it actually makes sense when you think about it. The average person takes 2 shits a day and if you wipe like a normal person it goes like this
>wet TP wipe to loosen up the dry blood and poop
>use dry TP to get the rest
>then you pop
>Wet TP wipe followed by a dry TP wipe
It usually takes about half a roll so when you do the math it adds up.

You people arent going to believe this but I found an alternative to toilet paper tonight.
So my girlfriend and I finally decided to get some extra supplies and when we got to the store all the TP was sold out.
She said she wasn't worried cause she could always use her pads or panty liners in an emergency.
She bought a bunch of extra pads and we went home. When she wasn't looking I tried using a pad and it was amazing.
Going back to the store tonight to buy the rest of the pads, and get a bunch more panty liners.
So thankful my girlfriend suggested this.

Going to be a lot of shameful showers in America.

I never thought about it like this.

The inability to dominate your bowels is a sign of weakness. This is how it's supposed to go...

> sit
> take a shit
> know when you're done
> wait until you're done
> two squares for the main wipe
> one square for the follow-up wipe

If you're having a bad day or suffering from IBS on some days, you're allowed to use an extra square in the second wipe.

Imagine not having a bidet in your toilet and walking around with a squeaky clean butthole. God whites are fucking subhumans

F

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leave

I shit once every 2 or 3 days. 215lbs. 6'. Mostly muscle.

My body absorbs almost everything I put into it.

Yes, I'm an ubermensch.

I use 1/10th of a roll everytime I shit.

If I shit once every 3 or 4 days on low rations, it would take me a month to use 1 roll of TP.

uline, probably

More like a wipe thread amirite?

you can't flush those though can you?

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Go see a doctor

audibly chuckled

Too add, I go on week long camping trips a couple times a year. I always bring 2 rolls because its light and useful for starting a fire.

I have never used more than 1 roll in a week, even being liberal with it.

>not using that spray bottle as a makeshift bidet to ration your shit tickets.

Used to fill up empty TP tubes with shaving cream and fuck em when I was going through puberty. Graduated to humping pillows. Been my go to ever since.

I guarantee I am far healthier than you. I have advanced medical knowledge and have worked in the medical field.

I just dont gorge myself on un-nutritious golem fodder every day.

Time to get bidetpilled, user. Join the clean ass brigade.

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I used to fill up toilet paper rolls with an explosive mixture and I wrapped them in tape and added a fuze. They were smoke bombs.

Guess it's a difference in how we were raised, you disgusting brainlet.

Klenex, napkins, paper towels, wipes, coffee filters, cut up old cotton shirts but don't flush this one (throw that away each time outside)
>we're going to be fine bros
>think about those in the great depression, this is nothing compared
>fuck this leftist attack, we will win

>bidetpilled
I LOLED

For most of history. Humans have used sticks, leaves, and water.

All paper is a luxury.

A fire or rain will ruin your day m8

>dummy not using your socks

Did you dress it up first?

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>I was a dental hygienist and am on a keto diet based on some youtube videos I saw.
> My urine is supposed to smell like that.

>A fire or rain will ruin your day m8
What in the hell do you mean by that bro, is that what this is, ok maybe I figured it out
t. drunk retard

F

shit happen I guess?

>I shit once every 2 or 3 days. 215lbs. 6'. Mostly muscle.

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the future is now paperfags

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Am done. Why didn't i listen to prepperz? It's getting really tough on Poland. Stores are empty, people are going to churches despite fact gatherings for 50+ has been banned. I am afraid it's over

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so this is how it ends ...

Your ass must be the most disgusting place on the planet.

Not at all. A properly trained bowel doesn't contaminate the skin around it.

Completely wrong, m8. The buggers have gotten to you

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Paper is useless wet and very flamible.

Of course, being indoors solves the wet.
I just think prepping by buying TP is redundant and NPC-pilled.

One of my previous posts:
Only the most retarded normie NPCs are buying toilet paper.

I could literally wipe my ass with anything I find outside. I'd wipe my ass with a fucking wet rock before I panic buy toilet paper like a dumb faggot.

I cant believe it. When these people are starving to death, dying of illness, and getting raided, they will eat that toilet paper.

These stupid fucking nigger golems have no sense.

Dry food. Water. Guns. Medicine. All else is unnecessary luxury that will be looted or traded.

Don't you people have showers in 'murica?

>the virgin aussie is flabbergasted at the sight of an American Chad