/cvg/ - Corona Virus General #2021 - PANDEMIC EDITIONS

>classes got delayed to mid-April

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My state just closed all the schools

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everything the news tell me i already know from these threads since january 24
at least i got 3 extra weeks of vacation

I couldn't watch Trump's speech.
What did he say?

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Sauce: ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4266250/pdf/ibpc-7-071.pdf

today
>10,690 infected
>442 dead
Wew, not a day without record... I dont like this happening anymore, lads.

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Will we reach 6000 by tomorrow?

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0: You die of Organ Failure
1: You die of a Heart Attack induced by cornona
2: You die of Pneumonia
3: You die in a car crash as you get carried to a hospital
4: You survive thanks to your prepping
5: You survive by leeching of a good friend, he genuinly doesnt mind
6: You survive by sheer luck, you find a garage full of WW2 MREs and Guns
7: You survive for 2 months only to trip over and hit your head
8: You survive for 6 months alone, then you join a group of 10
9: You get dabbed on by the first prepper who thinks you are a looter

11: You find a cute girl while you bug in, if your ID is yellow she had a dick
22: You are the danger, you join a group of looters, if your ID is red you become their leader
33: You wake up in a hospital 2 months later, you fuck your best friends wife and shave your head
44: You get mauled by Mr. Pibbles
55: You dont leave your basement for 3 years, it was really a nothing burger. If your ID is blue you only ate deenz
66: You are the chosen one, supercarrier and immune
77: SPECIAL stats all maxed out
88: Dirlewanger leads you into the new world, if your ID is grey you get the MG42
99: You survive by being a male prostitute, if your ID is pink you like it
00: It is really a nothing burger

Trips: The entire thread is immune
Quads: The entire thread gets put on a cruise ship heading towards china

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federal student loans no interest
then he paraded a bunch of wellness retail ceos across the podium and said we're gonna have McDrivethru testing stations set up in shart in mart parking lots.
That's about it, i think

Anime wiafu

Guys, is this reverting back into a nothingburger?

Okay so we have some cases, and initial panic and all the issues that comes with it - i.e the DOW

But things seem to be settling down - in a week we'll have to bump these threads to keep them in the catalog

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Roll

Rolling

POLL
>POLL
POLL
>POLL
POLL
>POLL
POLL
>POLL

Which country is handling it the worst??

strawpoll.com/13y5g1bb

oh right, also google is building the new coronavirus.gov test booking site and you will need to log in using a google account

also he has waived a bunch of privacy regulations to 'enable telemedicine'

How long from when you start coughing till you know it's corona?

>been dry coughing for 3 days
>fatigue comes and goes
>slight sore throat

I just want to know if she DIDDLED me or not???! Is it the real thing or discout corona?!

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roll

>less than 50 000 new cases in a day
need I say it

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I’ve had sex with three girls since this pandemic started

Looks like fear if a natural aphrodisiac to women

WALMART WILL DELIVER US

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>"just get herd immunity"
What's his endgame?

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when do things...start happening? This is starting to feel like a lettuce burger....not quite nothing...but not much substance either,,,

rolling

haha money printer go brrrr

Here we go...

What if the toilet paper industry made the twitter posts claiming people always forget to buy enough TP in order to boost their sales?

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Cmon give me something good Corona-chan!

>China +22 (+8)
Why isn't anyone calling out Chinks on their obvious bullshit? The fucking TV here said China has contained it and we should follow suit. How fucking retarded do they think people are? Chinks are fucking dropping like flies death toll possibly in millions since it has been going for 4 months at least now and they claim 3k dead. Fuck them I hope they all die

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Roll

I'm back on Yas Forums after a long break, please post quality corona chans I missed

How do i protect my testicles /cvg/, Yas Forums ? i'm afraid
+ post official list of stuff to buy

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roll for this poor leaf

My days are grey like dirty snow,
A fire's burning in my soul.
Why should I live - love dying in my pain.
My death is reapers gain.
In solitude I can not tell
Just of my deepest sorrow.
All time that's left is freezing me,
I'm waiting for tomorrow.
The fire in my mourning soul
Burns all my feelings to the ground.
And all my hope has gone away.
I simple will decay.
Of war in mind I ran away,
The chaos lies behind me:
But desert plains,
Where I can see the golden bright sun blinds me.
No strength, no help to break this spell.
This curse that grinds me down.
My mortal life runs out of me.
I'm dying on my own...
The fire in my mourning soul burns all my feelings to the ground.
And all my hope has gone away. I simply will decay.
The fire in my mourning soul burns all my feelings to the ground.
And all my hope has gone away. I simply will decay.

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oh shit

kill pensioners
boost economy
save a TON of money on this bloody virus bollox

youtube.com/watch?v=qQzdAsjWGPg

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I'm doing my once allowed reroll

Corona chan reminds me of my eternal waifu azula

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Rate my Corona-setup

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You need to operate on the assumption that everyone in Denmark is infected.

ROLL

Reminder that all you can do at this point is pray, even if you prepped.

Prayin for Yas Forums. We where right, they didn't listen, and now they reap what they sow.

Stay strong brothers.

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fuck my shit up

roll

Yes. Every since they started canceling everything, my nothingburger sense got stronger and stronger. I've been pretty accurate in my happening assessments. I feel like this thing is going to start slowing down now.

>BREAKING
>Donald Trump Tests Positive For Covid-19

worldhealthwebsite.now.sh/donald-trump-virus
>ITS HAPPENING
worldhealthwebsite.now.sh/donald-trump-virus
>ITS HAPPENING
worldhealthwebsite.now.sh/donald-trump-virus

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all of them.

It's fucking crazy that people are praising those things. Why are you all so fucked over there?

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>Walmart
>the parking lot of the GODS

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garlic as fucking currency WHEN

Corona-kami confirmed BASED

exciting

>amerimutts

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LETS GOOOOO

>145,695 infected
>5,416 dead
>OMG THE END IS NIGH!
stop shilling this stupid bullshit already, this faggot little virus won't cause a big pandemic.

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Rolling

roll

はいそですよ

Holy fucking based

don't kill me Corona chan

>shooting gibmedats at the border

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FACT
A
C
T

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testicular gas mask, must be p100 filters

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Empire 2.0 starting next winter vs a weakened world when the reinfection comes around

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boutta finna die

SHUT THE FUCKING SCHOOLS
SHUT THE FUCKING UNDERGROUND
RESTRICT NUMBERS ON BUSSES
CANCEL SPORTS EVENTS
CANCEL MASS GATHERINGS
CANCEL LIVES SPORTS BROADCASTS
FUCKING
CALL IN THE 3MILLION GORILLION EN HAYCHE ESS
STAY INDOORS
DO NOT GO OUT
WORK FROM HOME FUCK TELEWORK FUCK IF YOU REALLY FUCK HAVE TO
FUCK FOOD SHORTAGES
FUCKING REEEEEE
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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any good boomer stories? From parents to people in line at the store... anything?
My boomer mom is doing well but she still isn't totally there. I had to remind her that going to the mall right now would be an unwise move.
>just go to the places you need to go to, no where else.

It IS contained, though. You can't have an outbreak if everyone is dead.

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Roll

gutenberg.org/files/35155/35155-h/35155-h.htm#CHAPTER_XXXI

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i don't know what people are praising specifically.
he pleased the market though and it rallied back in the last 10 minutes to almost cover yesterday's losses.

roll

...

Please!

Rolè

roll

>OH NO THE SNIFFELZ!!!!!

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F

USA user here. Prepped, ready, supplied. All that's necessary is to lock the door.

The hard part is knowing when the right time to do that is. We're close, but not quite there.

hehe xd roll

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>you will need to log in using a google account
Oh fuck no for real? I don't have a fucken Jewgle account

spreading in the US is out of control. as testing picks up in the US over the weekend and next week, panic will get worse. hospitals don't even know who has it yet here.

the worst is yet to come for all of us

Rollioni

rolled

>new virus goes viral
>people cluster up in stores stocking up on toilet paper thus increasing the spread
there are not enough darwin awards for all these retards

Just give me the sweet relief of death

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>35.8ºC body temperature
I'm stilll alive for another day!

ACEII is not ACE2

Where the fuck is Chen, China give chen back.

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ROOOLLAN btw

YEAH!

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>rivm.nl/monitoring-sterftecijfers-nederland
so this hasn't been updated in a suspiciously long while

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Chrona chan finally turned me on to 2d. Thanks chrona chan now go do your thing

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maybe because people keep clustering up in shartmarts

Jeez this guy is an asshole

go

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>block your path
nothing personal user...

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yeah that seems about right. it was too good to be true.
back to cagie

we will see...but with so many states shutting things down we may just be looking at a nothingburger

11 with yellow id pls

Do you still have the meme where the nothing burger face gradually becomes infected

0/10 no mobile toilet paper carrier

Woah

I work in a pharmacy. Give me advice on how to troll customers. They are mostly
>russian kikes
>white boomers
>run of the mill chinks and arabs
>poor filipinos

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Yep. Even the people picking out the last items of food off the shelf today looked tired of the bullshit. This virus is not a happening.

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google is building it so whatever account you do use will be a 'google account'
but in this fucking dystopian timeline it will probably require an actual google login for 'security reasons'

ok lets roll this

But that would slow the spread.

When the RT PCR test comes back positive

You mean PP100 filters

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yea totally after the >100k deaths total burger, remember to kiss your mommy, mommies kisses cure all ailments.

happening cancelled?

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I seriously hope he catches it so he stops tweeting.

Did it please the market, or was that another 500 billion being pumped in to make it look good?

This one's good, I'm rolling.

rollin

ROLP

at best he is wishing he was dead in some chinese internment camp

FIVE MINUTES
In numbers -> 5

youtube.com/watch?v=AB_A2HKmZgI

>federal student loans no interest
yeah not clicking on that shit.

Get the virus, spread it on the pills and give it to them.

Will there be there any way to find out the real numbers?

Welp

then italy should have been immune dipshit

I hate them so much bro

>family didn’t prep
>don’t have any money to prep myself
Guess I’m fucked

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Color me curious.

Govt lockdown on wednesday.
You heard it here first.

TO ALL ANONS WONDERING WHY PEOPLE BUY TP IN DROVES
>TO ALL ANONS WONDERING WHY PEOPLE BUY TP IN DROVES

The book in pic related explain this and much more psychological (and irrational) behaviors.
A must read. can provide PDF to whom is interested.

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Lol

HAHAHAHAAHAH nevermind

HAPPENING'S BACK ON BOYS

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Rollerino

Roll

agreed. this is the worst time to panic-buy, the things people are buying are the ones the market will do anything it has to to keep them on shelves. they'll be back in a week and tons more people will be affected.

*sniff* Chen... he was based when no one else was...

EZ

I waa very ageinst all that waifu nonsens until she showed up. It's like dhe infected my brain

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Rollin for 11

Fuck my life into the abyss

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rolling

just don't get corona

GOOGLE STATES SITE AND PORTAL WON'T BE READY FOR SOME TIME
ONLY BEING ROLLED OUT IN THE BAY AREA
twitter.com/lrozen/status/1238580641425432576

lmao, Trump lied

Give me death or give us all death

R

*Coof*

Thank you alot user. My intention is to use it for when I have to get out in the public, which is not often.

ONLY THREE REMAIN. PLACE YOUR BETS ON THE LAST STATE TO FALL!

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rollin

Is anyone else getting more pussy flung at them than normal?
Is this the natural reflex?
>It's not quality pussy I'm not that chad

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roll

Doomer wannabe faggot. Virus is already no big deal. If it gets twice as bad as now I’m SoCal it will still be a big fat vegan nothing burger.

Is everyone doing their part to infect everyone else?

Röll

Kino

can someone post the january prophecy user?

Anyone sick of Lookner talking about Trump so much?
Agenda Free TV? He is becoming more whiny liberal tv?
Handshakes are not news
Loaded questions are not news

Keep using them. Might help (no guarantees)

An excellent book.

Hey user i hope your mom will be OK she's probbaly just a little spooked.

d

empty the shelves, hide all the shit and let them find you rolled up, crying in a corner

Toilet paper roll

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DIRLEGANG

give me cute gf

Average number of car accidents in the . U.S. every year is 6 million. More than 90 people die in car accidents everyday. 3 million people in the U.S. are injured every year in car accidents.

Just one example. 8,000 people a day will need medical care just from car accidents.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Motor_vehicle_fatality_rate_in_U.S._by_year

Get ready to die in the Hospital parking lot.

North Korea knew about Corona Chan from the start.
youtu.be/tz8eruY9HoE

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>socal
Your already dead memeflag

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F

It's a pretty common reaction to fear and such.

>prophecy
Literally everything has happened

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Rolling

I mean I suppose it will be revised after the pandemic like with SARS, the numbers then were much higher then what was reported during the outbreak but still obviously fake as fuck. Depending on how long things last the chinks won't be able to hide it forever. Multiple major cities are in total lockdown that isn't sustainable.

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deaths are going to the moon
make it stop pls

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only based chink died that day.

When we can start looting stuff ? when will be best time ?

Kek

,006 infected in Wuhan alone
What are the real stats?
I feel like China is lying big time.

lol

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banana

Rolling

Montana

montana will be the last state to fall
> check'em

LET HER IN KIM, SHE WANTS TO HELP

AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Do people not understand they're making it worse by flooding stores?

>twice

*sigh*
we're now exponential, bud.

Montana

user I think my breasts might smell like huwan coronavirus can you help me to destroy your country?

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How bullshit is the chinese numbers?

Wear a disposable face mask, but upside down.
Refuse to sort it if anyone notices.
People will deffo not be happy with the idea their pill pushers don't know what they're doing in a pandemic.

whats the difference between a dry and wet cough

> polish
> already thinking of stealing
checks out

roll

based

Like every google project, it will fail. They'll test 20 people and expense 1.5bn and then close it.

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I take it liverpool lost this game?

DEATH

>make it stop

But user, it hasnt even begun yet.

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Rollin

Washington schools closed till the 24th of next month

Well, might as well roll...

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Women go into overdrive mode in every disaster.

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My throat hurts and nose run because last week i came back from the gym in short and without my jacket and yesterday i was out with friends and it was cold and
Am i pozzed ?

youtube.com/watch?v=AB_A2HKmZgI
live now

German hospitals begin testing remdesivir (ebola medication) on patients.

spiegel.de/international/world/coronavirus-the-urgent-search-for-a-cure-for-covid-19-a-fd4c9a3a-ab4e-4590-b95b-a1c01d8b9d61

please favor me with luck

are you 8

killedbygoogle.com/

I will be the lord of the diseases

rollin

my country just closed all the schools, the entire public sector and will deploy the army at the borders starting tomorrow, get on my level

Easy 4

I wouldn't be surprised if there are 5+ millions dead by now.
They lie too much about it, and put too much of censorship.

Add Uruguay to the list (4 cases)

roll

Better do it soon Warsaw is going martial law monday. Soldiers in the street

I'm not falling for Jewgle's tricks.

BASED LOOKNER AT IT AGAIN

LOOKNER GOING NUCLEAR AAAAAAAHHHHHHH

With all this confusion and quarantine going on European nations should be getting in some needed ethnic cleansing
Fucking pussies at every level of power though won't do shit and the sheep public tacitly support globalism and degenerates
Technically we should contain to reduce stress on the medical infrastructure
But emotionally hoping it burns like a wildfire

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Whats the worst that could happen?

he's losing it KEK

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rollerino

tell me why i should watch this man

66 please

oh god I want see the future now

Lookner pls

dry=corona
Wet=no corona

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>US +510 (+7)
>US 2,207 (48)
Holy motherfuck niggers, it's really happening.

go ask a doctor

I’m gonna go with Italy.
You know, the nation with a death rate of over 7%.

>make it stop pls
No, this is necessary and good

Yes I'm very based indeed.
Times are hard man, what can I do ?

nah NoKor is already infected.
only a matter of time as well before a shitload of corpses there, either burned or buried, will be noticed by fags in outer space.

STEVE SIX MILLIONING AGAIN HAHAHA

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post it

fuck niggerolls

Based Germbro, rollin

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Nevermind look what I did!

Rolling it

take me

Literally no one under the age of 30 has died from corona, why are you all so worried?

roll

Hello

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corona is confirmed at work since saturday last week, information they kept from everyone until today. I started showing slight symptoms earlier today, fatigue, cough, possibly fever although i dont own a thermometer

check deez digitz

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Don't pull out stats and figures..it hurts the normies brains.

>6
based WW2 MREs

Runny is not a symptom. It's almost always a fever, dry cough and breathing problems.

rorr

roll

Hello, based department?

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>Incel destroying virus
Frankly I wasn't expecting it to go down this way.

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Here's how Iran's handling the virus.

>TAKE THE FUCKING HAND SANITIZER

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BASED ROLL

>disaster happens
women: ayyy where da men at?

roll

kek just sitting in the middle of the streets and nobody gives a shit

thanks doc

Dont forget, when the site invaraiably collapses from overuse or gets hacked it'll be the fault of russians

>Don't be racist by saying it came from China, goy.
Faggot.

He had a rant like this when Trump was apparently going to start WW3 with the situation in Iran

He was massively wrong then. Wrong now.

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Roll

Roll

ahahaha

aaaaa

>10 new cases in shithole Lima
>it seems community spread already happening
mfw

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Rule of thumb:
N1=N0*R0^G
It’s exponential until it’s not

English/aussie accent turned off immediately

Kek

>An experimental drug initially developed for Ebola could be promising. Tests are already being conducted on patients.

I hope those poor cunts enjoy their brain damage from those experiments, just like the nig nogs did in Africa.
How nice of the germans to become the guinea pigs for the tests.

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Yes there are deaths.

For sure this nurse in Wuhan

t. Swedish onions tranny faggot who doesn't know what a family is detected

He is annoying the fuck out of me today, he is dwelling on liberal things and presenting them as news. Pedantic stories. Handshakes are not news. People are not idiots for not wanting to hear this "gotcha" stuff, I unsubbed and unfollowed. He needs to get a grip on his audience, and he needs to remember what "agenda free" means Fuck him.

>it's gonna wreck the United states no question

Rolling

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Even Steve says it’s OVER (because of partisanship)

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>No Madagaskar
>No Greenland
Yeah Im thinking its gonna be fine

Yea but they won't be standing there all the time. Plus when riots start they will be busy with it, right?

Why no video or photos coming from New Rochelle containment zone?

I JUST LOST MY JOB DUE TO THIS FAGGOT VIRUS

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We’re saved!

Even the lolis are prepping. It's serious now.

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Thank you

archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/184699280/#q184710514
The end really is near.

>Survives 28 days in bacteria on surfaces at 4°C
>archive.is/HsmZ9
If this is true, we are completely fucked until there is a vaccine. It's over.

Lookner did nothing wrong.

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Shelves are already empty but morons still ask if we have anything "in the back."
kek. Also gonna start coofing more.

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If i'm pozzed my balls are dead and they'll give me medicine i already have at home. Might as well treat my throat like a classic cold
Are you sure ? wet would indicate mucus and shit

Situation is pretty fucked gentlemen
Hope you prepped weeks ago.

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He's not wrong

boomers were a mistake

jews arms are falling off
youtube.com/watch?v=Vic2zt4yTxQ

me too, i'm a fucking loser but my knowledge of covid spread from shitposting in pol is attracting women.

>OMG I CANT BELIEVE HE HANDSHAKED
>OMG AND LOOK AT THIS, THE WEBSITE SAYS EARLY DEVELOPMENT - GOTCHA TRUMP!!!!!!
>IDIOTS!!!!!
I am done with him

>China +554 burned alive

Ckd
Thread is very safe

DU FUCKING DØD BRORMAND DU FUCKING DØD

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you shitty serrano

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I started prepping at the end of January. I have masks, 100 gallons of water, etc

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rollgato

lol

gofile.io/?c=fd8Q17

Rerolllllllll! Dont fuck me healthcare career

Solid Photoshop keked hard.

implying that kike isnt desperate because hes losing money on the market
16 march 2020: blackest money. all the bull will eat the biggest pile of shit they've ever ate in their entire life

RIP

Why name yourself Agenda Free TV if you can't even stick to it?

Remember to take advantage, I fucked a care worker over a sink raw today.
I've had more sex in these past few days than I have in years.
>I'm kinda sad I didn't know I could do this sooner, just present the works

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ikr

take me corona-chan

Time for your inoculations goy

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I prepped so well I saved everyone

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...

that was an epic rant
fucking trumpanzees

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>Italy +2,547 (+250)
>Italy 17,660 (1,266)
FUCKING KEK

Imagine living your life as such an afraid beta bitch. It’s gonna be ok lil guy.

Noice

In a week

It’ll either be fine or well be racing to the liquor store one last time as the door welding team makes their way down the block

>26 confirmed cases

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>google tied to ssn

amazing

Fuck if you loot my biedronka I want the wódka

how so?

IT IS JUST THE FLU!

I just got trips twice in one thread wtf is happening

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RURAL Oz Bumfuck Nowhere pop 5k.
Live near military base.
Yesterday I saw something Ive NEVER seen.
Am OldFag too.
Militry camo Jeep type vehicle with big trailer, somewhat flat style.
FOUR of these.
Camo military standing around. Maybe a dozen of them.
They were being trained to drive these vehicles and trailers. This was in a huge Leisure center carpark, which is huge and in the middle of town.
NEVER Happened Before.
I think they might be training for when lockdown occurs. Might be using leisure center, which has huge rooms for sports etc, and carpark as some kind of supply depot to deliver food when SHTF.
Not joking, not larping.
Middle Victoria, OzBros will know the Base.
Stay Safe Mates all over.

>53 confirmed cases

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roll

He can get fucked, his main viewership is Yas Forums so why the need to interject all this...know your audience man

Rolly

>onions tranny faggot
buzzwords
>who doesn't know what a family is
wrong

Only China matches their depth of human trial candidates

Thank you nigger

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ROLL

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Why do so many western experts trust Chinese stats? Why trust them when they are actively fueling conspiracy theories among their population?

rollll

roll again

immune get

rollin

Pdf? Interested. What language?

>0 confirmed cases

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>995 confirmed cases

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plz no

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>Survives, lives in a basement, yet saved us all
based.

Roll

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I can always say
"It's gonna be better tomorrow"

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>dude I have the corona
*voice recondition script triggered
*google sends info to local authorities
*knock knock
just a couple of dudes with some beer, nice job google