ITS FUCKING HAPPENING

Get a water bottle, put a hole in the top of lid, fill said water bottle, use it to spray ass.

wtf I didnt know what those are for since i hate babies i assumed there is nothing good in those boxes

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use a shirt

I use 1 case of toilet paper a year. I uses the no frills stuff cheap ass scott see thru stuff but it lasts.

>This will be the first time in his life where the Amerimutt actually washes his dookie hole

happening fags always raid costco

I just came back from my rural as fuck costco and they had limits on everything, including 1 PACKAGE OF TOILET PAPER PER CUSTOMER

lol

why are americans so fucking concerned with muh poopoo paper in this pandemic? 1 thing each, but no limit on napkins or bleach LOL

Buy a squatty potty

Just use your wig, shitface.

>HAVE TO WIPE MY SHIT WITH HANDS AND WATER

but you are american, you are supposed to get used to it

best purchase ever, or just use a box if you're poor or something

Just like the Muslims

Just use a cat. They automatically lick themselves clean again for reuse.

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this

everyone knows this, what's even the point of this thread

Underrated

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OHNONONONONONONO this is your average day in mrrica

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Because our worst nightmare is using our hands to wipe our ass. Like those uncivilized Indians

Also anyone had a crazy increase in icloud scam phone calls?

Use sand!

>be me
>work at costco
>company predicted like 4 million in sales this week at my location
>isn't even the weekend and we're already nearly there
>all because of clowns buying TP and H2O by the pallet lel

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ID check

>archive.is/cHz25
use paper towls just let them soak in the water and split the sheets into 4ths. As long as its properly soaked it wont clog if you dont use a lot.

cats not going to allow you to wipe your ass with it's fur, you're going to get your ass and balls scratched to fuck

Use coffee filters.
;^)

do it like the fucking pajeets do it

order it off amazon whats wrong with you people?
I get a box of 180 rolls every couple months.

You'll never go back to TP after using baby wipes. They are so much fucking nicer.

>company predicted like 4 million in sales this week at my location

That's 1 pallet of luxury soup at leaf prices.

>find pajeet house
>stand on front lawn
>squat
>shit
Problem solved.

Is this what they meant when they predicted India would be a super power in 2020? They know how to wipe shit with their hands and live in disease.

How long should we be prepping for? I only have like 1 month worth of TP, food, and shampoo.

ameriguns need a whole roll each time they shit out whatever cheeseburger/taco ass curry they brew

If you cant improvise with baby wipes through the achoogaloo, then I'm not sorry to say that your brainlet wont even need toilet paper, as you wont survive long enough to use it.

This

never had a "taco" but they sound absolutely vile, don't know how Americans eat that shite

Who the fuck buys toilet paper? I just go into public or restaurant bathrooms and take rolls From there

That's what you get for being a city faggot. I just go out in the woods by the house, dig a cat hole, wipe with sticks and leaves, bury it, and wash off in the creek.

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wet towel rolls my dude

There’s fucking baby wipes right there.

Crik*

Still better and healthier than just wiping it with toilet paper and sitting on your shit for the next 12 hours or so

>1 pallet of luxury soup

nobody is rich enough to afford that

They check IDs

Hey India bros, what do we need to do?

but that's for babies.

you can't flush those. where the fuck will you put your covd19 ridden wipes?

no need to worry OP, just hearken back to the days of the Roman Republic and use a tersorium

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Lel

bought a bidet on amazon last black friday, best purchase in a long time. I feel so fucking dirty when i have to use dry paper only now.

Absolute amateurs. You need probiotics and soluble fiber supplementation at minimum. Stomping down a 2 quart enema in the shower every morning is also nice if you enjoy being ready for some sodomy for the entire workday.

same bro I've been wiping with my n95s

Life hack time.

Use paper towels. I get the half sheet ones, rip into thirds, pre wipe with one, wet the second and deep wipe, then dry with the third. Cheaper than TP, never rips, and doesn't leave residue/dingleberries.

based, the next step in the bidetpill journey is looking on in disgust and pity at all the people who have not ascended

imagine, 90-95% of everyone you see on the daily is walking around with shit smeared around their assholes by dried sheets of bleached wood pulp

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I hate you fucking retards for the amount of trees that have to be cut so you can wipe your ass like a mongrel instead of just using a bidet like a normal human

>1989 Romania used donated bibles as toilet paper.
>2020 US will have to resort to hand wiping.
What a timeline we live in gentlemen.

Coffee filters, newspapers, phone book pages

The supermarket toilet paper is priced like it's fucking gold plated or some shit!

It's uncomfortable for me to wipe my arse with TP anyway, ever sense my kids were born I use Baby wipes, take looks like there are some sweet wips their dinghus!

I can smell your dirty asshole from here.

dip your facecloth in the toilet and then wipe, simple as that

Go outside and get some leaves fag. The cuddle anus of western society.

Wait, Americans use toiletpaper?

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... what so hard shitting in the shower and wafflestomping it down the drain? I havn't used toilet paper in decades, actual toilet is just a porcelain chair these days...

This. I use Scott and I was gonna grab a 4 pack so I didnt have to run to Costco in case I get quarentined

>$5 for 4 rolls
>Can get a 24pk for $15 at Costco

Guess where I am off to at 9am tomorrow

>wiping

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Time to get a bidet, OP. Once you see how much less tp you are using, you won't want to go back. Especially if you get one with a heated seat.