/smg/ - Stock Market General

the pits of despair
the economy
the stocks

CNBC:
123news.tv/cnbc-live-stream/


Brokers:
pastebin.com/F1yujtVq (embed) (embed)

Stock market words:
pastebin.com/VtnpN5iJ (embed) (embed)

Risk management:
pastebin.com/sqJUcbjp (embed) (embed)

Live Bloomberg stream:
livenewson.com/american/bloomberg-television-business.html

Educational sites:
investopedia.com/
khanacademy.org/economics-finance-domain
nhentai.net/tag/inflation/

Free chart:
tradingview.com
finscreener.com/

screeners:
finviz.com/
tradingview.com/screener
etfdb.com/

Pre-Market Data and Live data:
investing.com/indices/indices-futures
finance.yahoo.com/

Bio-pharma Catalyst Calendar:
biopharmcatalyst.com

Boomer Investing 101:
bogleheads.org/wiki/Getting_started

Dividend Reinvestment (DRIP) calculator:
dividendchannel.com/drip-returns-calculator/

List of hedge fund holdings:
fintel.io/

Misc:
squeezemetrics.com/monitor

Attached: GookPits_1579131377336.jpg (1275x1661, 218.02K)

Other urls found in this thread:

youtu.be/x6LovY_DdEE
youtube.com/watch?v=7t6DhAkhpq8
instagram.com/p/B8kRFMAHsyz/
youtube.com/watch?v=L_gkhcXGR1c
fox8.com/news/college-students-in-florida-test-positive-for-coronavirus-after-spring-break-trip/
thehill.com/blogs/blog-briefing-room/news/488944-florida-university-says-students-tested-positive-for
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

Digits for complete economic collapse

nice

why isnt SPY crashing? is this the bottom

BASED

Attached: 1584877451258.jpg (594x559, 200.89K)

Attached: 1573081049461.png (657x527, 16.25K)

I'm using my boomer dad as a litmus test for when burger boomers finally start to realize that shit is real and then proceed to start the real crash.

>Call my dad, who's currently 350 miles away doing routine upkeep of our derelict ranch house.
>Tell him I'm worried he could get stuck there if Texas or the nation gets locked down.
>He still says that's not going to happen because It'S jUsT tHe FLU sOn.
But dad, what about Italy?
>Oh, those people are all touchy-feely and constantly hugging and kissing each other. That's why they're all getting sick.
But dad, what about Spain?
>Well, they, umm... they throw parties every week! Yeah, fiestas and siestas, that's it! That's why they're all getting sick.
>He's literally making up excuses on the fly to ignore all of Europe and keep pretending it's a nothing burger.
Fine, if you say so.
>End the conversation and hang up because it's not worth continuing.
>Still wondering how many burger deaths it's going to take for him and the rest of the burger boomers to wake up.

Right now my bet is when we're basically having 9/11 on a daily basis across the country. That's when the scales will finally fall from their eyes. That's when we'll start to see things like:
>It's my money and I WANT IT NOW!

>yfw all the air bnb hosts going bankrupt

Are we going to die?

Priced in

THESE THREADS ARE GOING TOO FAST AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

umm, dare I say, based?

Can something be so funny that even God shits his pants laughing?

youtu.be/x6LovY_DdEE

Attached: 3A6097E8-FCC2-413A-8F8B-E489725DDE40.jpg (2860x1948, 1.15M)

Checked. But the crab will reign for another two hours.

Digits and we are all going to be sissy bottoms soon

doubling

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Is this a bear, bull or crab market?

no

Fed doing unlimited qe and waiting for the stimulus bill

Very nice, can't wait.

All my puts are red.
I can't sell the few calls I made.
I'm down 23% today.
But hey, my intelsat stock is way the fuck up.

This IV crunch is destroying my portfolio lmao. If I make even a single fucking gain today I'm cashing everything into my intelsat and hiding in a fucking hole in the ground until this is all over.

the bogs are waiting for me to sell my puts then they will dump the market

Going to bull tomorrow

Aaaaaaaaaaand we are priced in. Bubble has burst. People are tired of panicking about the flu. In a week when they're all out of quarantine they'd want to buy something nice for their wives to make up for all the infighting caused by isolation, and then we're going to see a pump bigger than this entire fall, the biggest pump in US history. ignore my words, it's your loss, at least you'll still have a folder full of bear and pink memes :)

tell me why i should care about the DOW if im not in the DOW

Attached: 1583952149494.png (655x599, 276.56K)

At this point even big looking bulls and bears are all part of even BIGGER crabs

Im too hungover today for doomers, see you guys tomorrow

>FED trying to print their way out of a extinction level event.

Attached: 1568872961391.jpg (966x941, 91.06K)

kind of based
fuck air bnb boomers
fuck them
they're going to pretend to be "small business people"
but nah, if you just run an air bnb you are trash to me
let them fail

Attached: 1581550881969.jpg (1400x793, 192.08K)

hint: nobody has a fucking idea

Crab market that edges lower throughout the year until Trump's re-election starts the pump again.

dont be silly, this will take a lot longer than a week.

Bear market, crab day

WHAT DIRECTION ARE WE GOING?!!? WHO KNOWS!

Attached: 496-4964447_apu-pepe-png-download-pepe-thinking-png-transparent.png (860x603, 36.92K)

COME ON CUOMO HELP A BEAR OUT HERE

Clown market

This is the start of an economic disaster lmao

Attached: 1584924010186.jpg (255x255, 63.13K)

QUICK HOW DO I SHORT THE DOLLAR???

Attached: 26a8a268e2eb0cd24d87d79650c0e005.jpg (685x1000, 83.37K)

Reminder: NOTHING is actually priced in, this is pure panic selling that we've seen so far. Still to come are millions of deaths, thousands of bankrupt businesses, 30% unemployment, default crisis, and the bursting of every industry bubble. The herd cannot comprehend what is about to happen and therefore none of it has been priced in yet.
EOY: DOW below 10K and S&P below 1K

rip

when will coronavirus be over? how long am i gonna have to hole up in my house, unemployed?

You are fucking insane if you think this quarantine will only last a week longer.

yes

Attached: Honkler nice.gif (607x609, 821.08K)

Buying puts today was a mistake.

>we're basically having 9/11 on a daily basis
Still far from that. When we actually reach that point, stonks will be the least of your problems.

Witnessed

Attached: 9C3805B5-C99F-42CF-8381-62305E10CDAE.jpg (960x720, 127.83K)

Dow won't go to 15k and probably won't rise above 20k for the foreseeable future. I'm gonna say crab.

The first who drew that picture died a year ago

This is the comfy crab thread. Only comfy people are allowed to post.

Attached: 1580869067484.gif (173x261, 217K)

short UUP

We /clown/ market now. In seriousness, what it is is a collapsing market lmao

Already 3000 infections in Gondor.

Attached: middleearth.jpg (570x397, 76.6K)

Somewhere, right now, a boomer who is unaware of corona and the market woes just checked his 401k for the first time in a month.

Kind of a silly question, but are there any sites or a discord or something for gay traders? Like a gay sports club.

you buy btc

>51:51 51
I see now, the bottom of the market is us

>he fell for the global apocalypse meme
R*ddit is paging you

buy things with your dollars?

When should I get back into American semiconductors?

short it by buying an inverse etf with usd unironically

what if i already am?

Attached: 1584883313312.jpg (472x482, 44.28K)

We seeing the bottom yet?

Attached: Screenshot_20200323-144512_Chrome.jpg (1080x1348, 315.99K)

tehere was an user here whos boomer grandparents literally left on a 2 week cruise this week and refused to cancel it because "just a flu" and "we cant let panic and fear rule our lives and stop us from having fun"

these people are in denial and so out of touch with reality due to a lifetime of entitlement and brainwashing

>daily briefing
>trump walks out
>expounds how successful chloroquine is because he watched something on tucker
>questioned about why he's tweeting about 15 days
>vague handwaving
>questioned about millions potentially dying
>what a mean question followed by more hand waving
>fauci asked same question
>pushes back strongly
>trump contradicts
>we'll see, we'll see


it's going to be delicious

Attached: el-risitas-popcorn-maize-junk-food-eating-popcorn.jpg (728x551, 78.19K)

Spring has come. Temperatures are rising. People's moods are clearing up. You think a virus with an 0.2% mortality rate is gonna survive this? Miss the greatest gains of your life, I don't care.

you're already here

Attached: me_at_fry_fest.jpg (1512x2016, 616.79K)

How much do I need to make in this crisis to get an asian gf?

Attached: 1537810013366.webm (426x640, 551.25K)

Wsb

WHAT HAPPENS IF THE STIMULUS BILL FAILS

Attached: 1584033450037.png (747x767, 1.21M)

Temperatures literally do not affect the virus

An investor friend convinced me to get in on shorting SPY. So I'm taking most of my losses through the IV crunch. But I'm holding the fuck onto those intelsat stonks because they're green af

Attached: __hirato_kantai_collection_drawn_by_kagesaki_yuna__0553957da22e4ac83131e31e62f75417.jpg (1448x2048, 470.08K)

Boomers run the world. They control the fed and the white house. Time to buy boomerstox.

This is really the end

Attached: acacac.jpg (326x252, 13.17K)

PLEASE GOD I NEED TO SELL MY TVIX

>tfw sold sqqq at 28.84


Mf

CAN SOMEONE EXPLAIN WHY THE FUCK VIX FUTURES ARE GOING UP.

DO WE NOT HAVE ENOUGH BAD NEWS

>retards resorting to gets when they see the market starting to recover and their doomsday plans are ruined
Stay in your basement big boy, let the adults handle this.

Attached: 1583863330291.jpg (1920x1080, 182.06K)

/smg/

>THEY REMOVED THE DEATHS FROM THE CHART
>INFECTIONS GOING PARABOLIC

Attached: stillupbut5.png (494x293, 7.84K)

30 mil minimum

J-jerome?
Please Jerome t-the pump
please

Attached: 1584556903624.gif (773x1000, 247.81K)

So we hit the bottom?

Your dad is unironically right. Shame his intelligence wasn't passed on to his offspring. Must have married some cheap harlot

>He thinks it has a 0.2% mortality rate
LMAO

Attached: 1581142835283.png (977x948, 1019.68K)

Why do you want one? They look terrible without makeup and literally put tape on their eyes to make them look less squinty and more like white girl eyes.

Denmark just extended quarentine until the 13th of April

Attached: 6f25f114-3.jpg (800x800, 254.71K)

not much, that's the good thing about a depression
just don't lose your job or your house, and you'll live like a king

Attached: 1548617846658.jpg (452x678, 27.4K)

What? Explain, explain.

Attached: 9EBCD909-F046-4A56-8EE8-3A504C7FC0FD.png (606x624, 662.76K)

Stocks are literally free falling right now. Again

Exited SDOW and SQQQ positions, fuck this bullshit.

S&P 500 BROKE OUT
FREEFALL MODE AHHHHHHHH

Attached: 1450401197677.png (1000x908, 948.98K)

There'll be nothing left to stimulate.

Attached: Söze.png (609x357, 341.32K)

where do i read the stimulus bill draft text from republicans?

Yeah, maybe I am overestimating the sheer stupidity of boomers and the real crash will happen before we reach that point.

Yas Forumsbros, do I sell my 4/3 SPY puts? I think we're going down, but not sure if theta will eat me alive. I'm not an experience options guy. HALP

Fun times ahead

Just catch a bat and she's all yours

dave has a comfy place

Why would the bottom be here when corona Chan is not even close to its peak in the us. Or the economic downfall.

What's wsb?

Non-meme answers please, Yas Forums is infested with Yas Forumstards which would ruin any cool gay discussion.

That's what you get for trading options

>silver and gold up 4%

dm me NOW!!!!!

Be greedy when others are fearful.

Attached: 1577982204323.jpg (760x635, 79.39K)

A few hundred for a plane ticket, a few hundred for a hotel room and a few hundred for a dinner + extra drinks.. so $1.5-2k?

And then people are going to start fucking dying like flies and people will be even more terrified to leave the house

My FELLOW oil bro! How are you holding up buddy?

Attached: empty shelf.gif (460x226, 3.64M)

death is a myth
no one understands death, so tracking it quantitatively isn't useful

Attached: 1578203898690.jpg (1280x1920, 1.29M)

Guys, the bottom is nearing. Load up on dividend aristocrats to wait out the crab market and put the divvies into TQQQ. Retire in 5 years. The boomers won.

>haha i bet we are hitting another all time high, let me just log into my charles schwab account

Attached: img.jpg (360x240, 18.45K)

My mom unfortunately

Money cant buy personality :)

0 for 7/10, few k for 8, few 10k for 9. Few 100k for a 10.

Attached: IMG_20200323_202634.jpg (1214x2048, 306.38K)

Good day ahead for bearbros. The question is whether Jewmer will sabotage a vote to prevent Trump from looking good by getting a stimulus bill to help the country. Hint: His name contains an important clue to the answer.

I JUST SOLD SQQQ FUCK

What time should I buy back into SDOW and SQQQ

Give me your source on the .2% mortality rate.

Right now, the death rate from Coronavirus in New York alone is 1 person per hour.

youtube.com/watch?v=7t6DhAkhpq8

Attached: 1584831023652.jpg (675x601, 65.74K)

DARE I SAY

B A S E D
D
E P A R
M E N T

Attached: asfasfasfasf.jpg (638x728, 58.92K)

Mordor hasn’t event tested anyone I hear

instagram.com/p/B8kRFMAHsyz/
Actually just a month ago

cuz it reflets the market bzzzzz

Ok so stocks are beginning to slump again.

>Schwab never called me for my options app
>TD insta approves me.

Lmao

Fuck these fed shekelshufflers

Fauci already BTFO'd him once

SQQQ is based on NASDAQ, you want SPXS.

>panicking
Not gonna make it

Well, sold my GUSH after losing 1K on it.

Oil ain't recovering any time soon at this rate, leverage is just going to bleed me dry for months. I put it in tech stocks instead.

>everything is starting to dip except the one thing I bought put options for
Ok so who upstairs did I piss off

Then go to leftypol you annoying faggot.

Deep state department isn't going to like this

How do I make money on inflation?

>His name contains a clue
>Chuck JewMER
The mermaid supremacists got their amendment in the bill? WE GOT TOO COCKY POSEIDON BROS

Just got Level 4 approved with a simple online app

He sold?

Until the end of this week I'd be more worried about vega

>SPY down 2%

BEEF'S BACK ON THE MENU

ATTENTION FEDS:
FUCK YOU

Attached: 1569709723037.jpg (980x588, 35.49K)

Bought more USO at the bottom.

Attached: 1581889612582.jpg (826x720, 116.58K)

Why the F*CK are casinos up?

Attached: file.png (229x609, 42.7K)

>sold my GUSH after losing 1K

Attached: 1561897978090.jpg (512x564, 41.1K)

My instincts tell me today is the bottom for short term. Rationality says there is more to go. What to do what to do.

>stocks recovering
Oh boy user just wait, the worst hasn't even started

Yes, stop panicking. This is nothing

Attached: 90D638EA-F1E6-4A72-9C67-126E45E33B83.jpg (399x399, 28.11K)

no wonder the stock market is a clown fiesta if everyone is driven by emotion as much as you

Gold
Real Estate

How long have you been consistently wrong now?
like 5 weeks? Maybe pick up a different hobby avatarfag.

Yeah I know, pump it. Buy GUSH now to catch the 100x Bog Pump

Ppt

Holding appreciating assets like stocks, gold, or real estate.

Next dump WHEN

When will trump speak?

What is this pattern called

Attached: C469BBDB-D1C0-464A-951B-52F6266AD360.jpg (1125x1584, 91.45K)

CNBC: "Look, a graveyard -- let's whistle past it"

Nice! I just scooped some up today as well!

Attached: 87142-full.png (400x391, 192.15K)

I want to pump a cute anime girl's womb with infinite liquidity.

MY
PUTS
MUST
BE
IN
THE
MONEY
I
DESERVE
A
QT
ASIAN
GF

THE BOTTOM

Bart Down

Attached: file.png (752x453, 24.39K)

>at the bottom
youtube.com/watch?v=L_gkhcXGR1c

IT'S A NOTHINGBURGER
BUY THE DIP

Attached: 1576290468205.jpg (1500x2250, 464.81K)

Snib

kanzaki urumi

Is this a reddit format meme without an image, are you retarded

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Attached: 2020-03-23_8-03-17.jpg (591x624, 102.48K)

Buy a house

Except that real estate is inflated as fuck and will tank like a brick when the average Joe starts really feeling the pain from this economic crash.

Why would you want a gf with no personality?

The volatility has already eaten away any any gains I could make, it will never reach what I bought it at ever again. The compounded loss is just too much to recover.

You know how leveraged ETFs work right? It isn't going to rebound to like $6 suddenly.

I live here, fuck zoomers

Attached: getfvid_89879966_200287311400570_4939320189784162304_n-[00.00.000-01.24.414].webm (400x400, 2.67M)

My mom said she lost somewhere around 300k. She's smart enough to be holding on though instead of panic selling

i believe oils price will rebound eventually, how do I profit off this? no individual stocks please, I mean the price/sector as a whole.

So we'll get news that the FED will now be directly buying stocks soon right?

exciting

The crab can't help bulls now.

Attached: 1584512302077.jpg (800x800, 627.31K)

Good eye. It’s definitely reddit

california: the special needs child of the country.

close your eyes
take 5 deep breaths

based cali spreading corona and pumping my puts

>18025991
they are already buying ETFs, so its only logical they will buy blue chips next

>I mean the price/sector as a whole.
an ETF/ETN

that image is too photoshopped for me
uncanny valley

Attached: 1572230473365.jpg (1078x1354, 559.77K)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Attached: 1584121660044.jpg (560x448, 84.05K)

I would expect them to start buying corporate bonds first. Today they announced they'll be propping up corp bond ETFs, so that's the next step.

HOW LONG BEFORE WE QUARANTINE JUST THE OLD PEOPLE, TEST EVERYONE ELSE, AND SEND EVERYONE WHO TESTS NEGATIVE BACK TO WORK???

How long until we have enough tests to test everyone young person?

God damn if this IV ever gets uncrushed i'm gonna have a lot of money

>Fed buying corp bond etfs
>cnbc " they need bids for the bonds in the underlying holding, feds gotta be careful, cant buy infinitum"

Was he baiting? The Fed is obviously going to buy the underlying bonds as well. Who else?

Attached: B118400C-74CE-41A9-884C-92D043CD864F.jpg (525x429, 62.27K)

like this
yes i'm poor

Attached: 94E010BF-01E1-4213-92E3-D5E24A8C8591.jpg (1242x553, 52.05K)

>implying i can even control my lungs and i'm not hooked up to a machine to breathe directly wired to the market where each breath is correlated to volatility

2021 USO calls

oh god when cuomo releases the numbers of new cases in new york this whole things about to tank

>Cuomo speaking
>Some people are worried about freedom
>So what?

Attached: 1583720413554.jpg (388x443, 18.96K)

College kids already testing positive from their Spring Break last week in the Florida Beaches. This will just add fuel to the fire.

Attached: 1575272954512.gif (180x128, 801.88K)

Shes a good girl :3

Attached: 100329.jpg (899x687, 216.43K)

Thanks for proving my point about the Yas Forums infestation. Fuck off back to your quarantine board, roach.

you should try not being a faggot

Attached: 1577308088153.jpg (1119x2031, 1.6M)

it literally cant go lower, dear god you have to be retarded to not see this support

Nah looks like we both got out in time, at least before the stimulus likely passes today.

Politicians are gonna be fucked if they can't push it through today, both sides of the aisle.

AG MORTGAGE STRUGGLES WITH MARGIN CALLS, MAY SELL ASSETS: DJ

BUY ZOOM
BUY ZOOM
BUY ZOOM
BUY ZOOM

May god have mercy

Attached: 114C3A3B-8E7E-4A97-871E-89FDF6C50470.jpg (750x412, 46.35K)

Damn that's a pretty realistic plastic doll. Where do I buy that?

>it literally cant go lower
why?

T. retard

any that aren't going to be delisted?

proof? link?

BUY BOEING NOW YES OR NO?

The fed is run by actual retards so reminding them to not be naked is a given.

Just had the weakest nut ever. Could be because I'm losing money

>biz is always wrong

just bought more puts, thanks!

>it literally cant go lower, dear god you have to be retarded to not see this support

Attached: you.png (201x250, 5.37K)

>Americans
>people

This is what people said last Wednesday at 20k

What's the support? 18k? You're completely delusional

Your point

>dow -2.7%
>it goes up, instead of down
what the fuck?

Fuckin cheap

fox8.com/news/college-students-in-florida-test-positive-for-coronavirus-after-spring-break-trip/

Yes. This is the bottom

Are casinos even fucking open? Or do they have online gambling too?

What's your buy in for SQQQ? 24?

thehill.com/blogs/blog-briefing-room/news/488944-florida-university-says-students-tested-positive-for

Attached: 1577993240499.gif (300x150, 96.28K)

what IV % is considered "crushed"

this is the worst feeling in the world