/brit/

smeg me arse la!

Going to bed fuck all of you

when they mention "yanks"

yesterday government announced 80% pay for all of em so
rent is back on the menu boys

teasing the irish

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pour one out for all the niggas who couldn't be here tonight due to the coonvirus

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*teases the irish*

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honestly though right
most women are dogshit at cleaning and cooking
like every gf I've had, her flat/house has been a tip, her room is an even bigger sty, her kitchen is disgusting, and when she does cook it's either some frozen premade crap that's been in the oven for 20 minutes, or the ever-so-british dish "spagbol"

then when I cook something instead she'll be like "wow you're like gordon ramsay, you should open a restaurant!" just because I can chop up an onion and add salt to things

ktim

really want to look at a woman

mental that virgins are a thing past 18 in 2020

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*ahem*
ladies and gentleman please be seated I have an anouncement to make
*coof coof*
N

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mental that poor people are a thing past 18 in 2020

I know it's over
And it never really began
But in my heart it was so real
And you even spoke to me, and said :
"If you're so funny
Then why are you on your own tonight ?
And if you're so clever
Then why are you on your own tonight ?
If you're so very entertaining
Then why are you on your own tonight ?
If you're so very good-looking
Why do you sleep alone tonight ?
I know...

'Cause tonight is just like any other night
That's why you're on your own tonight
With your triumphs and your charms
While they're in each other's arms..."
It's so easy to laugh
It's so easy to hate
It takes strength to be gentle and kind
Over, over, over, over

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>1 confirmed case in my town of 60,000

It's all over lads

cheadleposting

unironically in self isolation guys

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true

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chinese virus

chinky flu

usual Friday for me

mental
why

chinese coronasars-covid-2-19

thats just white girls

how many times did we tell the janny that his reign of terror wouldnt last and that he'd give up eventually
lasted longer than some, but he's gone and we have taken back /brit/

new york is buggered

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is being asked for your snapchat by a bird a sign
>t. behind yonks on phoneshit

Based Janny

youtu.be/FuKpcmW0Vnc

Did anyone watch that borneo orangutan programme? Its good, orangutans are just like hairy 5 year old humans who can't speak and can climb trees

don't tempt fate de lad

Chang cough

very glad the border was closed desu

was in close contact with a confirmed case just under 2 weeks ago and as of thursday im symptomatic with some kind of coof, headaches and swollen lymph nodes, but desu it feels wet not dry to me, like im coofing but theres loads of phlegm and shit so it might just be something else, either way its a like $13000 dollar fine if i go outside

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whats the last book you read lads?
reading a book on William Marshal, last fiction was Crime and Punishment

in fairness they only started testing recently
but ultimately yes

gook coof

depends on the situation, I have girls asking for my snap all the time on nights out, it’s kinda the equivalent of adding someone on facebook these days
not like they expect you to message them though

zhusta fru

imagine the bills these lil niggas gunna receive

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(8) i would never dream of blaming it on you (8)

youtube.com/watch?v=WccfbPQNMbg

you miserable nerds

>5'8
IT'S OVER

youtube.com/watch?v=6Q3Axbg759g

ahh time for some quality weekend entertainment

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corona is PLOUGHING through the population right now

Nearly finished nocturnal animals. Away to start world's end after

youtu.be/I92WlD-bJx0
reminder that over 7million chinese people have gone missing but only 3000 are dead (apparently)
prease don worry e'jursa fru

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We survived 9/11
We'll survive the flü

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Liberty City

I'm this close to cabin fevering me mum

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test

no good mate
ah well just have a comfy one in, you covered by work?

Rorke and leftypol

Quarantine situation turning ugly in Cheadle

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whats that stephen king story about the painting that kills everyone

something virus goes north maybe?

>work

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die neet die

>7 million missing
?

>tfw your life savings are going to be destroyed by hyperinflation

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ello jeffrey
it's me - schitzy - yer ol' pal from canada eh?
while you were enjoying your life of leisure, I was build a dam
how aboot those apples eh?

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*filters cheadle*

Australians are the worst posters, they are Reddit incarnate

getting sick of beating my mum at strip poker

any other good card games which you can learn easily?

Just want things to get worse so that my life can have some meaning

forgot your vpn didnt you lad
silly cunt
nobody will like your boring shite without your funny epic spurdo vpn

getting money from the govt at least?

7-8 million chinese had there telecoms account removed ( telecoms account is tied to your social security in china) in feburary

yeah

not eligible for linkies for another year
(recent immigrant)

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Canadians are getting arrested for breaking quarantine

Sktz should be okay considering he only leaves for essentials like beer and ciggies

Europe and America are going about this the completely wrong way. Japan and South Korea are not locked down. SK has thousands more cases but a fraction of the deaths compared to the UK. This is because of constant testing and as soon as someone has Coronavirus they're isolated and their movements and people they came into contact with are tracked. Quarantine did not work for Italy. It will cause more deaths and the UK will face a similar fate.

nah I'm just ripping off the finnish poster
I am a cheap chinese knockoff

BREAKING: G7 summit to meet in April to discussing unfolding situation in Cheadle.

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Shithead

what's the most degenerate thing you've ever done?
one time my mate sneakily sucked my dick while our other friend was in the same room as us. we wanted to fuck but we couldn't because our other mate was there so we put like 5 xans in pint of whiskey and convinced him to chug it. when he passed out we went into the bedroom and fucked. about 2 hours later he came stumbling in and saw us half-naked wrapped around each other and proceeded to lie down next to us on the bed and put his arm around us trying to join in the gay cuddling. after about a minute he said he was going back to bed and walked out. he doesn't remember a thing LOL
how based is this?

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>'rents have to go to supermarket at 6AM to procure food despite there being no confirmed cases in my town

People are idiots.

And a good arse fucking

Singapore is the best example
they have systematically tracked down any potential carrier

sends me into hysterics whenever I see it

and thats a good thing

>mmmm das rite
Good morning Australia! Nice to be here, how are you all doing today?

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war

just called the police

Got a mild cough

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uh i didn't know being based was a crime

they're doing random door knocks in victoria lol

>SK has thousands more cases but a fraction of the deaths
that's because a disproportionate number of 20 somethings got infected in the church

>neet migrant
how are you even here

Didn’t happen and you’re a mong

Five Xanax in a pint of whiskey would kill somebody

It’s what Sweden used to be about

Were you bummer or bumee

mad how the greeks understood that prevention was better than cure yet we dont

you mean to tell me your money isn't invested? are you just keeping it in a bank????

Imagine trying to track every scrote here, nightmare

the dream is living in a mobile home in a yank trailer park

wouldn't you like to know

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Being homophobic pretty much exposes you as a gay desu :3

:o

Govt considering a nuclear strike to end the cheadle kesselschlacht

>US renews sanctions on Iran while they're in the midst of coronavirus
Heartless

Yeah, investing it doesn't seem like it would have been a good idea either before you go all Yas Forums

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they have those in northern england

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>I went to the pub.
>what pub?
>the one down the road

with a pitbull called thor

yeah not too bad anime foot lad, was on the beers last night so quite happy

youtube.com/watch?v=_qhLPWcm-0w

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hmm yes i'll just down a pint of whisky to entertain two poofs

Yeah well it's easy when your country is the size of a football pitch.

just find a good unmanaged retirement mutual fund with a brokerage

Bruh you need a ssn to get everything in China even train tickets

yes, hence me asking

had a corona(beer) myself but kept it light because of the corona(virus) situation not sure if you've heard about that

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President Donald Trump told his top national security advisers last week that because of the coronavirus pandemic he didn't think an aggressive response to new attacks on U.S. troops in Iraq by Iranian-backed militias was the right move, according to one former and four current senior U.S. officials.

Trump expressed concern that hitting back hard at Iran at this time would make the U.S. look bad given the extent to which Iran and the rest of the world are struggling to contain the spread of COVID-19, the officials said.

im not lying at all
>Five Xanax in a pint of whiskey would kill somebody
no it's not. the danger of mixing depressants is massively overstated. i used to take fuck loads of painkillers and xanax and drink 350ml of vodka quite regularly and i've never came close to dying. 5 xanax is a lot but it's nowhere near enough to kill someone. the very first time i took xanax i took like 4 bars over the course of a night alongside codeine and tramadol. dont remember anything but i didnt die.

the bummer
my mate is a trap and very passing imo so it wasn't even really that gay really

Wonder if mikey has a fixed address

*growls*

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oh right fairo
partner visa innit

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prions or a mutagenic retrovirus lads

yeah precisely

based Trump

there there pet
*chucks you a sardine*

maybe if they werent lying about the numbers people would have more sympathy

Is Doom 2016 worth getting for £6?

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oh righto
bit young to be married (i'm assuming cause of the neetness)

>Five Xanax in a pint of whiskey would kill somebody
Lol virg
t. used to bang 20 xannies a day minimum

prions prions!

coronavirus

Full of holiday makers who pay less than £150 to leave with their families for a toilsheds for a week

moop

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yess

twitter.com/cp_conlan/status/1240624959891877894?s=21

not at all will be waiting till i have right to stay before marriage but we are engaged
have had 3 mates want to be my best man so far

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No because you can download it for free

Amazing how they found a way to communicate with the Intelligence governing Cheadle.

not true
medical and humanitarian goes on unimpeded
UNimpeded
stick THat in yer pipe and smoke em

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going out for dinner tonight lads

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it's a humanitarian crisis

lol

"Can you tell me where my country lies?"
Said the uni faun to his true love's eyes
"It lies with me!" cried the Queen of Maybe
For her merchandise, he traded in his prize
*Does a tune on the lute*

this the fabled italian supercat?

maybe if they werent lying about the numbers people would have more sympathy

You on Yas Forums, just how new are you nig?

good lad

Where?

youtube.com/watch?v=cmiOKL5pBuM

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Can't deal with being at home for so long lads.

it's a humanitarian crisis

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mmm orange

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Are you implying everyone here is closeted?

unblocked.tw - then choose pirate bay

youtube.com/watch?v=MU7ARjl0eUE&list=OLAK5uy_nwzeO-Wux2Y3Kt8MzAA07pTvgbXrWQPe8

can't remember GCSE biology and not going to pretend i can

we kept our gayness secret from him until my bum-friend revealed it to our mutual mate while he was having his first acid trip. unfortunately i wasn't there to see his reaction. apparently he was quite upset and kept flirting and covertly asking if there was a possibility he could have sex with him too. i've heard him hint for a threesome several times with my own ears.
there is no good time to find out your best mate is a cross dresser and has been fucking your other mate but an acid trip is definitely a bad time to find out. i feel bad for him but it is quite funny and it makes me feel like a chad.

mmm

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with the proto?

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that's a guaranteed way to get a virus

In January there were 280 flights a day leaving Wuhan

he do be making copies though

take up Racquetball

That’s boring, shit Genesis. You want great Genesis:

youtu.be/pN60DR5GQpg

mental how zoomers can't pirate things