Is he the greatest turn around story on the internet? I've never seen anyone own up to intense cringe like he has

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I have so many questions.

I mean, it's obviously just meant to be a quick way for the artist to let out some steam after getting his bike stolen
He just worded it so clumsily to the point where it became such a huge meme

Again, it's literally coping. The thief's already happy and he can do realistically nothing about it. What he can do is rationalize the situation in a way that will make him less frustrated/more happy.

I think what really convinced him is the simple fact that there's no measure of "total happiness in the world"

He's smarter than 99% of Utilitarians.

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The great irony is the people ITT bashing shen for being a cuck are probably the first to defend the systematic theft inherent to capitalism.

Go away, Shen

The two things are completely unrelated. You can see that utilitarianism is invalid regardless of whether or not you support capitalism.

This.

Remember the Hooded Utilitarian?