I'm still in love with her

Then she didn't love you in the first place. All the more reason to stop wasting your time dwelling on it and go find someone new.

who hurt you? he was a fucking abusive piece of shit. i was hopelessly devoted to him loooool

user...don't tell her he actually does want to be friends, we both know that isn't true.

Every woman I've dated has told me they've been molested and harbour attraction towards young girls. One told me, I got upset, fucked off, and she fucked one of my friends.
Why does this keep happening to me? Do I attract fucking crazies all the time?

lotta venom in this thread ngl.
more than i was expecting.

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everytime i tried to leave him he threatened suicide, threatened to post our private pictures and videos, would send me paragraphs and paragraphs of verbal abuse, and then turn around and harass me with apologies and "i love you im sorry" i basically had fucking stockholm syndrome. so fuck off

I ignored his message :( I don't even know how to begin to tell him all the things that are on my mind, all the feelings I have for him, and just how much him trying to rekindle friendship is a painful idea for me. We tried the friendship thing when we broke up, and it just felt like I was hanging out with somebody I trusted more than anyone in the world, and loved deeply, but I couldn't put that full trust in him because he was on tinder and looking for his next girlfriend... It was so shit. To make things worse, he tried to get me to hang out with him and the girl he was living with at the time, who was a lesbian, but had slept with his (GUY) friends in the past. She kept making comments hitting on me, but then saying 'x, if you were a girl, I'd so fuck you' to my ex. It was shit... So shit. And now I'm just scared... I'm scared he's just bored because of corona, and now he's moved back to our hometown where I'm staying during quarantine and thinks he can try to hang out with me again. Also pretty sure he has a gf...

E. E. Cummings over here