BTFO

fuck pitchfork sucks fuck conde nast

wtf I love The Strokes's newest album "The New Abnormal" even more now!

Hadn't been on Yas Forums for a few years, just got done listening to this AOTY and came to discuss. Looks like Pitchfork has sunk as low as plebtano

0/10 not nearly enough BMWF

WMBF is the patrician's choice

wow they were wrong on this one.

their hate boner for them is crazy lol

>not BMWM

It was like a 7.5/10, which I would have guessed would have been closer to the p4k score anyway

whatever they havent been right about barely anything since 2015

Pleb filtered

"The verses of “Eternal Summer” are sleek and exciting—that is, until the unfortunate Austin Powers impression of a bridge waltzes in to kill everyone’s buzz"
are they serious?

This guy also gave the latest Deafheaven album an 8.5 even though it was complete garbage.

>Ordinary Corrupt Human Love
>8.5/10
holy moly this guy still has a job reviewing music?

pitchfork.com/staff/sam-sodomsky/albumreviews/
they are not all bad honestly

8.5 for Deafheaven going down the drain. 4.5 for forward thinking Code Orange. Pitchfork is an abomination.

They gave comedown machine a 6.1 so this didn’t mean anything.

First paragraph
>Voidz apologist
Second paragraph
>Rick Rubin, a presence so hands-off
Always knew p4k was fucking retarded but this is the nail in their coffin. It's like the writer expects them to maintain the same sound and style they had 20 years ago, and you can tell by all the shitty RoF and ITI references he sprinkles around. What a shit review.

don't really get how he dislikes eternal summer when it's the most Voidzy on the album. He doesn't really have any outrageous takes desu, just lame

>Beck Hyper Space 6.5
Should literally be a 3 at best
>Coldplay Everyday Life 6.8
Should literally be a 2 at best
>Taylor Swift Speak Now 8.2
I think he's actually a 16 year old girl

Though I'll give him credit for the 8.5 to Prefab Sprout. That album deserves an 8 alone for the title track, though the rest of the album is kind of just there. 8.5 seems on the money.

Still, that was just me randomly looking at a few on the first page.

that coldplay album was fine.

They are completely misconstruing the lyrics.

D R U M S P L Z F A B

I've written album reviews in highschool better than this. Can't these glorified music bloggers let go of their preconcieved notions.
>this song is a rip of this
>this album isn't anything like their older ones
And not every lyric is somehow about the music business

yes they are

how can they name themselves "the most trusted voice in music"?

Attached: niggermusic.png (1561x541, 375.7K)

Does Julian really care about reviews?

Most likely not. It's just shitposting fuel

How the fuck does someone become a professional music reviewer? Do they shitpost until somebody hires them?

why are strokes fags acting like they are anti-woke?
>I’m so sorry man. I apologize on behalf of white people, we’re the worst. I’m just. I don’t know. How to atone is the question. I don’t understand why there is any kind of question about reparations and all that. It seems like such a no-brainer.

Pitchfork more like bitchfork

They graduate from Sarah Lawrence and live in Brooklyn off their daddy's money and agree to write for next to nothing because they so desperately want their writing out there.

weren't they supposed to hide their reviews behind a paywall this year? what a pity

half the bands nowadays are liberal, get over it
i like their sound and that's all that really matters

With Pitchfork scores you have to boost anything by white males but 2 points and lower anything by blacks or females by 2 points, then you get typically accurate scoring.

If they don't give lazy mumblerap music high scores liberals will get pissed

I didn’t listen to this record and I never was too fond of The Strokes, but isn’t Julian Casablancas particularly known for not a giving a fuck about ..stuff in general? He seems like the last guy on earth who would care about a review

literally this

he's legit having a heart attack as we speak

I have a theory that Pitchfork and SPIN and other similar sites are automatically giving every fucking Lil' whatever and SoundCloud Rapper™ that comes through the door high scores, so when the dust settles and a few of them actually turn out to be legit quality acts, they can point to old reviews and be like 'see we always knew'.

When it comes to rock music, the critics have always have a very narrow view of whats "good" to them. Its been that way since forever. It goes back to Rolling Stone hating on Zepplin in the 70s I think and trying to say anything punk or more artsy is better. Theres always been a huge divide between the critics and the consumers

>when the dust settles and a few of them actually turn out to be legit quality acts
hell will freeze over before that fucking happens lol

I knew they were praising shitty rap but now they're doing it to reggaeton too? Fuck this, man. That garbage is atrocious. Puerto ricans can't into music.

Interesting but if they're doing it to boost their reputation and credibility, aren't they doing more harm by giving garbage good ratings?

I think they're just doing what most journalism is doing, which is following what brings the most immediate attention (clicks). Unfortunately that renders your brand generic in the longterm. In the short term it will of course drive up profit, but it's not sustainable. Pitchfork was nothing like Rolling Stone or Billboard 10 years ago. Now? I'd argue they are more similar than different. Pitchfork hasn't "made" any artists in the longest time. They literally made entire acts in the 2000s like Animal Collective, Dirty Projectors, Grizzly Bear, St. Vincent, Neon Indian. There aren't any "Pitchfork bands" anymore. Even the acts they are trying to prop up now, they are late to the party (Big Thief, King Krule Alex G etc). Mainstream publications like NPR have already propped those artists up. They shit on those artists early in their career and only now are acting like their prophetic musical geniuses. The only ones Pitchfork has uniquely tried to shill that I can think of are artists like Jay Som and Vagabon, but they're shit and they haven't really gained much traction. Pitchfork aren't trying to be tastemakers anymore. They are in a weird sort of limbo of retaining some of their roots, while appealing to modern hype-driven and poptimist culture.

Most publications really are shit now. I still respect The Quietus somewhat though, because I like their features and their prose-driven reviews. I sometimes read Stereogum, but only for their reviews and not those by that Breihan guy.

I mean, to be fair to them, lyrics can have more than 1 intended meaning.

so i just put some uv light on that screenshot
what did you mean by this

Attached: 1560687911103.png (712x639, 392.89K)

I can't believe there are still people who unironically go to pitchfork in 2020.

Might as well get a rolling stone and teen vogue sub with that.

Attached: 1498723595763.png (339x273, 126.76K)

I get what you're trying to do but uv light doesn't make penises appear

>Pitchfork has never loved the strokes
Bullshit

Attached: Screen Shot 2020-04-10 at 11.49.48 AM.png (1778x794, 747.7K)

>just gonna have to wait to see what Anthony Fantano says
Pathetic hive mind. Grow up, you cretin

If this was the old days...

wtf i thought this leaked already. we're still getting mail at my college radio station and I have an advance radio copy on my desk. haven't listened yet but this version might have any explicit words edited out. will head to the station now and see if the door is locked and upload it to mega.

this is exciting! i never get to deliver stuff like this! it's a 20 minute walk to the student center where our radio station is so hang tight.

shit bait

Fuck Pitchfork, but one glance at the cover of this album, and just by merit of this being the fucking Strokes, I know this album sucks.

Honestly the funniest thing that people on this board go "who even reads p4k in 2020 anymore >:(" and then turn around and listen to the new strokes album in the year of our lord 2020. Especially considering that the Strokes are one of the defacto p4k core bands of the aughts, like wtf the cognitive dissonance amazes me