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So big und schtinke


Any plumbers able to help connect Andy's toilet to my fridge?

Listen up you bunch of roody-poo faggots. I've been seeing a lot of so-called "tough guy internet trolls" here lately talking a big game about how they think they can handle Andy Sixx and his sopping hot log of shit SLIDDING down their fucking throats. (That's right, bitch. It's spelled "slidding". S-L-I-D-D-I-N-G. Deal with it.) Ha! You make me laugh, kiddo. You really do. Did you seriously think you could just wash up here and slurp that corn-studded behemoth of creamy fucking shit out of ANDY SIXX's sexy, gothcore rectulum? Did you really think you'r sorry ass could just waltz right out for amateur hour and part those pale, black veil buttcheeks and tongue -punch the fecal feeding bar like some sort of ass-shit munching butthole rat? PSHHT come on kid, get real. I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast. Andy's shit. I bet Andy wouldn't even be able to get off a little pre-shit fart before your pussy lips curled in defeat. You think when Andy takes a break from performing on a hot stage in leather pants and goes to craft services and eats two dozen raw oysters that were not properly handled or refrigerated washed down with a quart of whole milk and tequila - that Andy just squeezes out of his skin-and-air-tight pleather slacks and goes easy on your throat? You fucking wish, jr. When Andy says he's ready to blow the walls off a 110-degree warped-tour portajon and your pathetic little tonsils can't even take the first loaf, I'll put my hand on your shoulder and say, "Nothing personnel, kid" and then suck down every last heaping fucking clogger andy pumps out. And I'll come back for seconds. And thirds.You know why? Because I have Logtismo. Because I believe in three things and three things only: the cream, the steam, and the fucking dream, baby. So step aside, keep your little logsucking fantasy in your mind where it belongs, and let the real men do the slidding. His log loaf is mine, bitch. What are you gonna do about it?

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What's that sound, I hear it all around,
It almost sounds quite dirty,
He draws folk in, with a cheeky grin,
Why, it's Andy and his hurdy-gurdy!

He turns the handle and plays his tune,
It almost feels quite flirty,
The people join in and they clap their hands,
Oh, it's Andy and his hurdy-gurdy!

It goes 'Pffft...parp...squelch and plop',
You could even call it turdy,
He plays all day and through the night,
Yes, it's Andy and his hurdy-gurdy!

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user's Guide to Enjoying an Andy Sixx Log RollĀ® The Original and the BestĀ®

Step 1: Wrap your lips around Andy's puckered slop hole.
Step 2: Give Andy a couple of gentle sucks to let him know you're ready for your creamy treat.
Step 3: At this point inhale deeply, relax your jaw and open your throat.
Step 4: Allow Andy's fresh log to enter your fucking throat. Note: Andy's logs are sopping wet to allow easy sliding.
Step 5: Contract your throat muscles to work the dreamy turd down.
Step 6: Burp out excess steam.
Step 7: Beg Andy for another.
Repeat steps until completely clogged.

Congratulations! you are now living the dream.

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Hold the pickle, hold the lettuce.
Special orders don't upset us.
All we ask is that you let us
swallow you log.

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