I've been failing college for 3 years straight, whats a painless way to kill myself without using guns or gasses

What this guy said.
And what the fuck are you being a little bitch for, anyway?
Failing 3 years of college. Oh wow is me. Now you gotta get a job and pay off your loans like you were going to do after college.
I mean, you're here, might as well have an adventure. Go be like Thoreau. Just don't cash in your chips.

That's supposed to say woe is me. Fuck autocorrect.
And furthermore, OP, no one wants to have to come collect your dead body or clean up a fucking mess. Remember that the living gotta deal with what you leave behind if you decide to call it quits.

because i have no marketable skills and would rather die then live like skidrow scum

Or just get high. Fkn adventure is overrated. It just feels like work or the same thing in a different place.
Korean BBQ will cure depression tho, so go there and teach English.

If you die, you'll spend the last few seconds of your life wishing you could stand on top of that roof again.
If you live, you'll probably be paralyzed. That's going to make life way worse and you'll be hard pressed to off yourself in that condition.
50/50 chance. Good luck.
Btw I've heard 50'+ is the "dead zone".
But people have survived falling many times that, so again, good luck.

College sucks. Go into the mortgage industry. It’s booming right now. It goes up and down, but there’s always work. If you don’t want to be in sales go into processing. It’s fairly easy, constant, you get paid well and you can make more than 10k a month if you’re really good at it. There’s always loans to process even in a bad economy and you get paid for every one

Before killing yourself, just disapear, go, get high as fuck and try to move on, start a new life in a new place, and sttart over. Killing yourself is losing the game, at least try to trick the game

This, also seriously you just need any degree to teach English in Korea. You don't need to know Korean.

old age

What do you mean by 'processing'? Can you be more specific?

I fail to see how wandering off and living a hobo lifestyle would feel like work. But different strokes.

There are plenty of jobs out there that don't require a degree where you can work your way up. But it sounds people could find a million reasons and you'd find a million excuses.

Or just go to the Tibet and try some new ways to live, go and become a hippy, go live in a comune, or volunteer yourself in some ONG, they will maintain you OP

What major?

You trully need a work? Or society wants to?
Plenty of ways to live dude, just do it, crying like a bitch is not gonna get you anywhere, start and all will slowly start moving to a better place, mood, friends

comp sci, failed trig 3 times already.
im already at the part where i want to die, not keep existing in case that wasn't clear before.

Well living is work to me, so yeah, a hobo adventure just sounds like.. if every day is a day off is any day a day off?

>comp sci
You fucked up.
Get a generic IT degree instead. 3 times as many potential jobs you can do, much easier and cheaper. Don't fall for the comp sci meme, literally all you can do with that is be a code monkey which is miserable.

Dude it sucks but there's definitely lots of fun and joy to be had in your life, not to mention all the people you can help. Past mistakes have to be dealt with but they don't determine who you are.
Imagine you're just starting a game right now and you are the character with those cards in your hand. What are you going to do? You have endless possibilities and interactions, and failing is not only normal but inevitable. Find a goal. No matter how hard the difficulty is (and it is much harder than average games) just keep on playing with your head up, a focused mind and you can get anywhere.

Got my associates in 18 months, another 2 years to get my bachelor's in Mechanical engineering and some machining certifications.
Little sister took 7 years to get a teaching certificate.
Some people are naturally human, others, like my littler sister, are subhuman failures. Family obligation prevents me from telling her to suicide.
The least painful way to die is terminal impact, a thrilling few seconds then a sudden trip to the great unknown. Jump from a building at least 5 stories high, avoid hitting anything before reaching streetlevel. Head first. Enjoy.

I'm not sure if this will work but try chilling in a hot tub at 110 for half an hour. I almost passed out after 15 minutes so you can probably drown after becoming unconscious and it certainly doesn't hurt

I'm doing comp sci too its my first year. I relate to you so much, im failing it so hard not even looking at my work or submitting fuck all. Just wanna end it cos i feel ive wasted a year n sooo much money. Im trying to bounce back tho and do another degree in something more artsy idk

>comp sci
Alright I'm gonna give you some VERY SHORT advice because I was like you at one point. First off are you at a 4 year school or 2 year school? Are you taking financial aid or do you parents pay for it? If your parents are paying for you to fail, then stop wasting their money and drop out. Otherwise, stop being a jackass and get serious about your courses. Seriously dude, it's not THAT hard if you apply yourself. Now it's even easier because everythign is online so you can basically cheat your ass off if you wanted too. That's all I'm gonna say, either get serious and go to class and STUDY, or drop out and get a job. Also stop smoking weed everyday and/or cigarettes or if you're drinking alcohol. I was there at one point, it's seriously not that difficult. Don't worry about bitches or money or parties or any of that shit for now, if you're gonna stay in school. You can do all that shit when you are done. Focus on your courses and you'll do fine. Getting a C literally just takes effort and acting like you give a shit most of the time. So do with that what you want.

worse, its community college. i can do fine at the coding but i've already tried and failed trig 3 times and thats where im at now

>people struggle with getting C's
I will never understand this. I half ass literally everything, never study at all, and feel like an absolute worthless failure if I get a C in a class instead of an A. The only exception to this are math classes because I have no natural talent at math...like at ALL. I struggle with regular algebra, despite having done it for over 10 years. I just can't remember all the bullshit formulas and what order to do them in or the pointless jargon they come up.

I guess I'm just fortunate in that I'm naturally talented enough in most subjects to coast by and get As without needing to try, so I never really learned 'how' to study or put forth an effort, so when a subject like math comes along that I'm NOT talented at, I'm completely clueless, then I feel like a cunt since I can barely get a C in it.

P.S. FUCK statistics.

and ive been using money from my own savings