Back in middle school, there were several tards. Not many to get excited about. The worst was probably a kid who we'll call "Johnadurrrrn", who looked to be about 35, with a nasty case of the downs. At the Christmas Concerts, he would just sit there, staring into the soul of whomever was unlucky enough to make eye contact with him. There was an Asian girl with the downs, who my friends and I called "Sum Ting Wong", for obvious reasons. There were also your basic aspies, like "Drew", who would burst into classrooms and turn computers on and off if people were using them, or "Geoff", who tried to get me to pay for his minecraft antics by threatening my family with black magic, or screeching at people then staring into my eyes. Kid looked like if one of the Mass Production Evangelions raped Shmuel from The Boy in Striped Pajamas, and the kid was raised by hilly billys in the mountains. He always wore a leather jacket that looked like it was used to soak up the oil from a certain 1975 Chrysler New Yorker missing its passenger side door, spray painted black, then, soaked in horse manure while being run over by a John Deere 4020 combine, then finally sat underneath a leaky Detroit Diesel 8V-71 out in the hot, West Virgina summer. In other words, it looked like the most crackhead shit ever to exist. There was one kid, Mongoose, who thought he was a zenomorph, and would his and spit at people in the hall. Another kid, Niggadiah, was your typical nig nog, but with an awkward twist of actual humanity in him, for good measure. A kid that was short and changed his name every 5 god damn minutes was there, too. We'll call him Timmy The Tooth. He'll be important in later tales. However, there was one to out-sped them all. Chris Ruth, or in his native tounge, Queese Woof. This is his story
>be me, 13 >7th grade >lot of tards at my school, as there's a lot of inbreeding where i live >don't be one of them >winning.jpeg
>don't have many friends at this time, but don't need them >5th period >hear a loud screech, followed by fake barking outside >WTAF.jpg >in bursts some short chubby kid, with a screeching in tardanese about something >wrangler enters, and drags him away >k then. >next day >morning >go to bleachers, have to sit by grade >hear a commotion in the 6th grade area >IM QUEEE WOOOF IM GONNA EAT YOU AWOOOOOOOOOOO >ohgodohfuck.jpeg >AGSWEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOO >REEEEEEE >look over to see what it is >short chubby kid from yesterday is clawing at Timmy the Tooth >kden.wav >apparently Timmy took his Pikachu plushie. >whatever >go on to class >get lunch detention for saying nigger in class. >have to eat during the 6th grade lunch >fuck you >see the Chubby kid, with a whole row of tables to himself. >screeches QUEEEEESE WOOOOOOOOF with the force of a thousand young suns >k >must be his name, then >watch as some short kid witha mop for a hairdo walks up to him to sit near him >almost as if he was allowing his prey to escape >poor kid didn't take the hint >woof kid leaps up like a ninja on meth, jumps on top of is table, and on all fours, runs at speeds towards mop kid that would put John Hennessy to shame, and starts bark at him >wtf >woof kid thinks he's a dog >enter the makeshift tard wranglers, aka the poor janitors forced to deal with this shit, valiantly charging towards the ongoing shitstorm >away our mentally insane, furry, retard hero goes, carried like the sack of potatos he is. >oof We got more, folks
Jack Wilson
I once had sex with a hyperhorny girl who probably had aspergers. It's not very fun.
Thomas Gonzalez
Why do they get sent to school? Who could possibly benefit from that?
William Sanders
wdym its not fun
Luke Rogers
More Woof Tard > 2 months later >new integration program starts >fuck >Woof tard gets less supervision as a result >thisgonnabegood >be at line to get picked up >My stepfather's car, an audi that looks like it has been through hell, pulls up. >Behind it in line, a green Chevy Cavalier that had at least a 1 inch rust hole on every panel. >in the distance, I hear a GWUUUUUMBMUHHHHHHHHHHHH >woof tard dives through the open window of the chevy >I laugh >stepdad glares at me, then clutch drops the audi and we pee out in a cloud of tire smoke. >look in the rearview mirror >wooftard shook his family's car to the point it steered into the school garden and got stuck >my sides are in orbit >next day >be in bleachers before class >like the horns of jericho, wooftard screams gibe awae frum meeeeee >se someone beating him up, with a crying girl behind him >turns out, wooftard tried to finger his sister >emphasis on the word tried >her older brother, aka avenger, saw and walked over to confront the tard >woof tard growls and snaps at avenger >avenger ain't putting up with that shit >with the force of a runaway Peterbuilt, avenger sent his fist itno the rotted grille of the rabid tard >this isn't that important, but it made wooftard's already bad speech impediment about 10 times worse >avnger then takes wooftards lightup sketchers and yeets them onto the HVAC unit, where nobody could get them >ff to class time > be preassigned to the health cass for my 1st period >mfw wooftard was there >try to sit as far away from him as possible >he sits there ,mumbling incoherently with an occasional woof thrown in >k >ff 20 minutes, be bored as fuck >out of nowhere the loudest fart I have ever heard shakes the classroom with the violence of an edgy teen wielding an ar15 >metric truckloads of shit start exploding from his khaki shorts,splattring nearby students, staining his pokemon shirt. >with a toothy grin on his disgusting face, he says WAFN"T MEEE continued in next post
James Jones
Last Wooftard post, for now
>As soon as wooftard reaches the door, he looks at the teacher with the face of a floridian serial killer on bath salts and undiluted absinthe, and says I GOTTA GO PEEPEE ROOM KAY >he naruto runs to the bathroom. >10 minutes later, he hasn't returned. >at lunch that day, I sneak off to check the CCTV in the main office >it shows him entering the bathroom, but never leaving >hmmmmm.redneck >go to bathroom, and immediately noice the vent from the ceiling is smashed on the ground >wut >2 days later, wooftard exits the other bathroom, and s immediately pulled into the office >I gotta hear this >when asked where he was, he would only say ME FORGOT TO REMEMBER >later that day, I noticed he was wearing the Sketchers that were on the hvac unit >megakek > school ends two weeks later, and never hear from him again >FF to now >be me, 17, 11th grade >on group phone call with friends >mop kid brings up a kid named "Chris Ruth" >describes all of said incidents, in detail After I hung up and left the call, I decided to tell you beta fags the tale of the tard, known now and forever, as Chris Ruth
Jace Brooks
Want any tales of the other tards from my middle school?
Cooper Cruz
>Be me >A while ago, 3rd grade Back then we had a fair share of tards at our school and we called the tard classroom “room 5”, since that was the room name and because they were quite the special kids. >Have this kid named Xander in my class who would frequent room 5 >would constantly stare at people or whine/scream >basically a 3yr old in a 8yr olds body >was reading diary of a wimpy kid like a normal person, minding my business >Xander approaches out of the corner of my eye >wut arre yiu weeding >Xander also had a cohort, Lauren, who was a tard even worse than him, but didnt come to our class much >our class would constantly make fun of him behind his back >tell him to fuck off as kindly as i can >wont listen >”go away or ill say it” >the it im talking about is merely saying awwww which would send Xander into a fit >his one weakness >the fucker wont go away, doesnt understand how to actually exist >i tell my friends the plan >we get ready, and yell >AAAAAAWWWWWWW >Xander runs around the room crying while we all laugh >go back to reading my sweet Diary of a wimpy kid Dog Days in peace >serves the fucker right I have more stories of the room 5 gang if you guys want them
Isaiah Jones
More 5 gang stories
Mason Hill
More room 5 >Be me >3rd grade, a while later >having goldfish at lunch like the chad i am >hear “eiiiieiHhhhahh” aka the screeching and squealing of this witch of a tard, the one and only Lauren >know that whatever is going to happen today let the wrangler rest in peace >lauren is looking pissy >mauls wrangler because they wont let her walk around by herself >proceeds to run around the computer room >shake my head in shame >hear her getting closer >oh fuck no >she proceeds to put her drool covered finger she had in her mouth ON ME >still get chills >yell what the hell lauren >Round 1 FIGHT >proceed to smack her onto a computer >Didnt KO, need more damage >as revenge i decided, with my long nails i had at the time, to scratch and make her bleed >wasnt as damaging, but i knew it hurt like a bitch since she started having tears now >no turning back >with all my strength i grab her hair and smash her skull on the floor >get in trouble, but regarded as a hero of the class I have a bunch more still, my school was a freakshow
Adam Scott
Bump
Charles Torres
Um whatever kid. The writing sucks to the point that nothing can be visualized. Its just words strung together. Had to reread several times to make any sort of continuity
Owen Edwards
k faggot
Zachary Powell
k faggot
Grayson Sanders
moar
Evan Myers
More op, this is gr8
Parker Moore
i fucked a full on retarded cunt and it was extremely fun
Bentley Ramirez
You get your wish, I'll do The Alien Aspie,next
Daniel Long
did this happen yesterday?
Anthony Gutierrez
Do you have tard sex stories asking for a friend
John Lee
>Be me, once again >4th grade, our class is doing normal school stuff i forget what >finish whatever shit we did >reading >all of a sudden i hear running sounds >a wrangler bursts in the room >he looks scared >shit this isnt gonna be good >turns out one of the downies Anthony, who frequented running away and being a dickhead had gotten loose in the building >every class had to shut the door and put the curtains on the windows so he couldnt get in and shit like that >pretty much full lockdown >all because of one kid >proceeding reading because nobody fucking cared >start hearing yelling in the halls >getting closer >the tard himself is speeding at rates even Foxy the Pirate Fox would be amazed >Starts riling the tards who were already scared because darkness in class >Xander starts crying and screaming and kicking like a big boy Cailou >Lauren does her classic wail/shriek >everyone gets worried >hear the door get hit >everyone goes quiet >another hit, louder >people get nervous >silence >everything is silent >start whispering to my friends on what the fuck is going on >Anthony has almost been apprehended >Teacher calming girls down >Final hit, door almost crunches at the force >Anthony is now down, the wrangler horde had finally caught up with him >peace is restored for the remainder of the day
Hunter Thomas
This is the story of Mongoose, The alien aspie >16 years ago >be satan worshiper >do ritual to summon the dark prince >works, get preggo >move to hick state so his oddness will blend in Fast Forward 8 years and 9 months >Be me, 4th grader >9 years old >Go to After School Program, let's call it Home Plate >Arrive, have to sit with the kids in my grade >2 thots, 3 niggers, 1 aspie, 1 hick, and 1 emo kid >fuckme.jpg >ignore the barrage of insults from the arguably obese thots and the jungle bunnies, >boredom.wav >notice some kid looking to the left and the right, very spastically >He's at the 3rd grade table >kden >He then screams, like a Chrysler FirePower Hemi Air raid siren "I AM MONGOOSEY, GIVE ME GOOSEY FOR SNIVELY REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" >WTAF >kid seems to calm down, for about 2 minutes, then takes off his velcro lightning mcqueen sneaker and tries to bean me in the head with it >wtf >big black guy, who I later find out is The Tard wrangler for the home plate, restrains and carries off the screaming hellspawn Part 2 coming in a bit
Jaxon Ward
We had a short female tard that used crutches to walk wherever she went. She would sit in class and stick pencils up her pussy. Nasty ass shit.
Carson Long
Heres a tard smexy time story for us anons Room 5: The prequel >Be me, 2nd grade >heading to bathroom >skipping class because it was art class and fuck art class >as usual, bathroom smells like piss >playing on the hit mobile device the ipod4 >waiting for the class to be over >all of a sudden two tards come in >one very fat downie, other autistic tard >proceed to hear the snerfs and moans of the male tard >hear screeching of female >had already known the stuff that was probably going on >feel sick just from hearing it >hear the male get close and he roars a mighty tard roar before cooming >Hear the two leave >still scarred >walk back to class >user where were you you were gone for like so long >guys what i just saw is worse than art class Can share other stories
Anthony Hill
...Are some of you guys tards yourselves or is it just normal in 'murrica to shove tards in normal people classes?
Eurofag here, always had tards and normies separated like it was apartheid.
Room 5 had the majority, but we had some occaisonally be in class, maybe for about 3/8 times of the day, like 2 classes and a food break, but not full integration. My school was in Canada.
Zachary Gray
>or is it just normal in 'murrica to shove tards in normal people classes? lots of retard parents are so unwilling to accept the fact that their kid isn't normal that they'll shove the kid into normal classes, ruining everyone else's ability to learn, just so they can continue on with their absurd denial.
Also, lots of schools in poorer areas (like most of the south) just don't have a budget for teachers, let alone special ed teachers.
Cooper Adams
That makes sense. Shit sucks with the poorer schools, hadn't considered that.
Carry on, I don't have tard stories to share, unfortunately. Was just wondering.
Matthew Allen
they are separated. but in public school at least, many parents will fight the school system so their kid gets put in regular classes. school systems typically acquiesce unless the kid is a problem to the rest of the class.
> be me > do civil services > drive patients around clinics, retirement homes, dialysis clinics and so on > sometimes it's school students in wheelchairs > rarely we also transport mentally disabled school students for one particular school > transport chick in wheelchair > she goes "awuwuwuwuwuwu OOOOOYEEEE!" randomly in the car > "I'm gonna like this one" > sometimes she gnarls and breathes like a wild beast > "nevermind" > sounds dangerous and psycho asf but what's the worst she's gonna do? Right, co-driver? > co-driver: "I'm told she might bite you." > sure sounds like it > have to unload her wheelchair out of the car with her in it > lean over her to undo seatbelts > feel something tug my collar and squeeze my neck skin really hard > ow > co-driver : "uh maybe get out of there real quick bro?" > "what's wrong?" > co-driver: "you ok? Looked like she bit you in the neck" > check collar > there's drool and deep bite marks on it, even two holes > the collar blocked off the teeth from my neck but it still hurts > thank fuck it was winter and we were wearing thick ass coats > other co-workers hear of it > nobody wants to push her wheelchair or undo the seatbelts > squirm around her like she's Hannibal Lecter > every time she's in the car, I hear her breathe and gnarl right behind my seat > sweating intensifies > so scared she might bite my ear off while driving > flip up jacket collar to at least protect my jugular > co-driver constantly makes comments how we wouldn't be dealing with this shit if Hitler was still around > dude we got 3 of these kids in our car > bruh > "as if they understand anything we say" > no idea honestly, but still. bruh.
Goosey part 2 >be me >watch wrangler take the screaming child away >never seen a tard before >don't understand why he did that >next day >Be on bus >justchillin.jpg >playing my ds >bus stops at a new stop >wut >look out the window >sitting there, is a dilapidated Chevy K1500 Suburban, pic related >in front of it, is goosey, holding the hand of what looks to be the ugliest woman ever >fuckmylife.jpg > gets on, holding his arms like a god damn t rex >he looks slowly from side to side as he walks down the aisle >looking like a skinny samsonite, he pauses >he lets out a short screech to get our attention, then continues down the aisle >as my luck would have it, he stops at where i am sitting, and before i could flee, he plops down on the seat next to me with another short screech >the smell alone makes me wanna cry >he sees my DS >ohno >he looks me in the eye and says >WE AM FOR SNIVELY FOR MEEE. GIMME UR BIDDOGUM SO ME PLAY POKEMON. >I calmly try to say no and that I don't have pokemon >he glares at me, as he cannot compute >me no get wut me want? >see the shit in his eyes about to go nuts >stuff my DS in my pocket and hop to the next seat forward, then move to the front. >goosey no like >like the trumpets of the apocalypse, goosey lets loose his battle cry, a louch, high pitched screech, combined with an ear shattering whistle from the kid's tonsils. > he storms after me, running to the front of the bus >car in front of the bus slams on brakes, because deer >goosey goes flying like cannon fodder, to the front of the bus >hits the windshield with a bang >he is K.O. >He slowly gets up >he seems calm That's about to change, fellas
