I am an airport security screener. Ask me anything

I am an airport security screener. Ask me anything.

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How often do you see boobs?

I had an NSA guy touch my pee-pee while he was patting me down. We made eye contact when he did so. He left his hand down there for a couple of seconds while he looked at me. I discovered myself that day.

Why do you insist on grabbing my dick when I clearly don't have any weapons?

whats the smallest thing someone has shoved a dog into

Whats the weirdest shit you've ever seen/dealt with?

Which drug is the most common to catch someone with and which is the least?

1. What shit annoys you about people? Stupid things they do all the time.
2. What's the weirdest thing that has happened?

How many people do you sexually molest on a given day?
Are you sad that covid has deprived you of a steady supply of rape victims?

Are you truly stupid and incompetent or just highly trained to act that way?
I fly several times a month and the results are pretty consistent at every airport.

ever touch some boobs

In the summer, it's not rare for women to came through security with more revealing clothes. During winter, not a chance.
Good to know.
I don't grab dicks. Also, probably because you have something that causes the metal detector /body scanner to go off.
Nothing, thankfully.
The weirdest was a woman who tried to pass with a vibrator inside her as a joke.
We don't deal with drugs, that's a Custom thing. But, the most common I would say it's weed.
Going to answer in the next reply. Would be too long to put it here.
Not even once. It's not like I have fun making manual searches. I Will do everything to try and avoid them.
You probably fly within the USA. I do not work in the USA or for the TSA. I heard they have pretty terrible standards.
During work? Yeah, but with colleagues, not passengers.

Hi I'm a professional grower. I have a few brokers who claim to be "busier than ever" right now because the TSA is a fucking joke and isn't doing their job during the quarantine so they are on a plane virtually everyday moving product from the West coast to the East coast.

Explain yourselves?

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So, annoying things. There are quite a lot.
I would say that the most annoying in general is just not listening to us and arguing with us because they know more that we do.
If I stand there saying a bunch of stuff, there is a reason. I get that different airports have different procedures, especially if they are located in different countries, and that's why we are there giving instructions. I literally have at least a couple of arguments every hour with people because "in airport x they didn't make us do that"; "i fly a lot and I never did that"; "it's the first time I've been asked to do this".
I mean if I say to do something, it's because it has to be done, not because I want to. I'm not having fun by telling what you have to do, if I can not say something you can bet I won't. If I say it, there is a reason.
As I stated here I do not work for the TSA, nor in the USA. Also, as i also said here we don't deal drugs, the customs does.

ok but im stoned and I dont care..
have YOU noticed an increase in drug trafficking since this all started?
>if no, then we win
>if yes, then how can I improve my packaging?

Also what happens to all the confiscated drugs/alcohol?

Weirdest thing.
A couple was doing the security checks. They seemed a bit weird, but it's not unusual to have drunk people, especially during the summer. He goes through, fine. She goes through, alarms. Removes everything, still alarms. We try one more time, same result. She is acting weirder every minute. My colleague performs a manual search, she comes clean. The boyfriend seems strangely amused by all this. It seems like she has trouble standing up. Their behavior rings an alarm bell and we want to understand why she sets off the metal detector. We take her to a private room for further checks and alert the police. I keep an eye on the boyfriend, he's constantly fidgeting with his phone, I thought he wanted to take a picture or a video. Then, we hear a "WTF" coming from inside the room. They come out and she has a vibrator in her hand. They explain to us that it was an app controlled vibrator and it was all a sex game. We weren't amused.

Why are you perfectly content with the low pay?

I don't know how to make it clearer. We do not deal with drugs. I am not actively searching for drugs. We do not use drugs detecting dogs. We do not use drugs detecting machines. We do not use any kind of equipment that can detect any drugs. We are not trained in finding any drugs. Want to know why? WE DO NOT DEAL WITH DRUGS.
In over 10 years I found drugs less than 8-10 times, and I found them just because I stumbled upon them, while searching a bag for a bottle of water or a knife.
Asking me this kind of questions would be like asking a truck driver if the average graduation grade has gone down in the last 2 years.
It's not low pay. It's above the national average. Mind me, it's not great either.

Do you get any flight benefits like those that work directly for the airlines?

how many clearly high people have you seen lose it in the security line? asking because I was one of em

Unfortunately, no. Some airlines do have a discount for us, but it's around 20%. Not bad, but nothing like the almost-free tickets for the airline workers.
It's very rare to see people losing it. It's not rare to see someone that's clearly drunk or stoned, especially during the summer, but they can do the basic things required for the security check and don't create much of a fuss, so for us the're clear. If I had to guess, around five people in 10 years. As I said, it's very rare.

What's the scariest or sketchiest encounter you've had?

>Anonymous 04/26/20(Sun)23:09:22 No.826269656▶
>I am an airport security screener. Ask me anything.
>>>
> Anonymous 04/26/20(Sun)23:10:32 No.826269733▶
>How often do you see boobs?
>>>
> Anonymous 04/26/20(Sun)23:11:06 No.826269781▶
>I had an NSA guy touch my pee-pee while he was patting me down. We made eye contact when he did so. He left his hand down there for a couple of seconds while he looked at me. I discovered myself that day.
>>>
> Anonymous 04/26/20(Sun)23:11:30 No.826269815▶
> (OP)
>Why do you insist on grabbing my dick when I clearly don't have any weapons?
>>>
> Anonymous 04/26/20(Sun)23:12:36 No.826269898▶
>whats the smallest thing someone has shoved a dog into
>>>
> Anonymous 04/26/20(Sun)23:12:53 No.826269923▶
> (OP)
>Whats the weirdest shit you've ever seen/dealt with?
>>>
> Anonymous 04/26/20(Sun)23:13:22 No.826269954▶
> (OP)
>Which drug is the most common to catch someone with and which is the least?
>>>
> Anonymous 04/26/20(Sun)23:13:36 No.826269970▶
> (OP)
>1. What shit annoys you about people? Stupid things they do all the time.
>2. What's the weirdest thing that has happened?
>>>
> Anonymous 04/26/20(Sun)23:14:31 No.826270027▶
> (OP)
>How many people do you sexually molest on a given day?
>Are you sad that covid has deprived you of a steady supply of rape victims?
>>>
> Anonymous 04/26/20(Sun)23:16:52 No.826270166▶
> (OP)
>Are you truly stupid and incompetent or just highly trained to act that way?
>I fly several times a month and the results are pretty consistent at every airport.
>>>
> Anonymous 04/26/20(Sun)23:17:51 No.826270251▶
>ever touch some boobs
I live rent free in the back of your head

Attached: you 3.jpg (500x500, 35.36K)

>Anonymous 04/26/20(Sun)23:18:38 No.826270308▶
>
>In the summer, it's not rare for women to came through security with more revealing clothes. During winter, not a chance.
>
>Good to know.
>
>I don't grab dicks. Also, probably because you have something that causes the metal detector /body scanner to go off.
>
>Nothing, thankfully.
>
>The weirdest was a woman who tried to pass with a vibrator inside her as a joke.
>
>We don't deal with drugs, that's a Custom thing. But, the most common I would say it's weed.
>
>Going to answer in the next reply. Would be too long to put it here.
>
>Not even once. It's not like I have fun making manual searches. I Will do everything to try and avoid them.
>
>You probably fly within the USA. I do not work in the USA or for the TSA. I heard they have pretty terrible standards.
>
>During work? Yeah, but with colleagues, not passengers.
>>>
> Anonymous 04/26/20(Sun)23:20:57 No.826270477▶
>File: IMG_0723.jpg (707 KB, 1536x2048)
> (OP)
> (OP)
> (OP)
>Hi I'm a professional grower. I have a few brokers who claim to be "busier than ever" right now because the TSA is a fucking joke and isn't doing their job during the quarantine so they are on a plane virtually everyday moving product from the West coast to the East coast.
>Explain yourselves?
>>>
> Anonymous 04/26/20(Sun)23:30:01 No.826271106▶
>
>So, annoying things. There are quite a lot.
>I would say that the most annoying in general is just not listening to us and arguing with us because they know more that we do.
>If I stand there saying a bunch of stuff, there is a reason. I get that different airports have different procedures, espone, not because I want to. I'm not having f
I live rent free in the back of your head

Attached: you 4.jpg (229x250, 7.93K)

>Anonymous 04/26/20(Sun)23:35:22 No.826271479▶
>
>
>ok but im stoned and I dont care..
>have YOU noticed an increase in drug trafficking since this all started?
>>if no, then we win
>>if yes, then how can I improve my packaging?
>Also what happens to all the confiscated drugs/alcohol?
>>>
> Anonymous 04/26/20(Sun)23:38:34 No.826271707▶
>
>Weirdest thing.
>A couple was doing the security checks. They seemed a bit weird, but it's not unusual to have drunk people, especially during the summer. He goes through, fine. She goes through, alarms. Removes everything, still alarms. We try one more time, same result. She is acting weirder every minute. My colleague performs a manual search, she comes clean. The boyfriend seems strangely amused by all this. It seems like she has trouble standing up. Their behavior rings an alarm bell and we want to understand why she sets off the metal detector. We take her to a private room for further checks and alert the police. I keep an eye on the boyfriend, he's constantly fidgeting with his phone, I thought he wanted to take a picture or a video. Then, we hear a "WTF" coming from inside the room. They come out and she has a vibrator in her hand. They explain to us that it was an app controlled vibrator and it was all a sex game. We weren't amused.
>>>
> Anonymous 04/26/20(Sun)23:39:25 No.826271761▶
>Why are you perfectly content with the low pay?
I live rent free in the back of your head

Attached: you 5.jpg (233x217, 9.43K)

>nonymous 04/26/20(Sun)23:44:23 No.826272085▶
>
>I don't know how to make it clearer. We do not deal with drugs. I am not actively searching for drugs. We do not use drugs detecting dogs. We do not use drugs detecting machines. We do not use any kind of equipment that can detect any drugs. We are not trained in finding any drugs. Want to know why? WE DO NOT DEAL WITH DRUGS.
>In over 10 years I found drugs less than 8-10 times, and I found them just because I stumbled upon them, while searching a bag for a bottle of water or a knife.
>Asking me this kind of questions would be like asking a truck driver if the average graduation grade has gone down in the last 2 years.
>
>It's not low pay. It's above the national average. Mind me, it's not great either.
>>>
> Anonymous 04/27/20(Mon)00:04:55 No.826273543▶
>Do you get any flight benefits like those that work directly for the airlines?
>>>
> Anonymous 04/27/20(Mon)00:06:19 No.826273638▶
> (OP)
>how many clearly high people have you seen lose it in the security line? asking because I was one of em
>>>
> Anonymous 04/27/20(Mon)00:11:34 No.826273989▶
>
>Unfortunately, no. Some airlines do have a discount for us, but it's around 20%. Not bad, but nothing like the almost-free tickets for the airline workers.
>
>It's very rare to see people losing it. It's not rare to see someone that's clearly drunk or stoned, especially during the summer, but they can do the basic things required for the security check and don't create much of a fuss, so for us the're clear. If I had to guess, around five people in 10 years. As I said, it's very rare.
>>>
> Anonymous 04/27/20(Mon)00:17:59 No.826274418▶
>What's the scariest or sketchiest encounter you've had?
I live rent free in the back of your head

Attached: you 6.jpg (225x225, 6.22K)

How often are you called a communist?

Scariest one I had happened just two months after I started working there. A man was creating troubles at the checks, it was a huge 2'6" man covered in muscles. The kind of dude you don't want to piss off. He was making the same complaint we hear every time "I don't want to take off this" "I don't want to do that". My colleague eventually make him do everything he has to do. His bag go to into the RX machine and he has a huge switchblade knife in his pouch and, obviously, I was the one that had to open his bags. One of my colleagues went to call the police. The bags were still inside the RX machine, which had been stopped to prevent him from taking the bags. Before I could even move he goes into the opening of the RX machine and takes his pouch, saying that we were too slow and the "fucking thing broke with his bags inside". I was scared but I still tried to do the check as usual. Went there and asked if he could follow me to the table for a check on his bag.
cont.

what an inviting threshold. you guys make traveling so wonderful.

He threw a tantrum, begun screaming how we were harassing him and if I even tried to open his bag he would beat me. Now I was fucking scared. We aren't armed in any way, nor we have any training in fighting. This guy would easily beat me in a fight with his bare hands, I could only imagine what he could do with a knife. The airport is big and we were in the furthest point from the police post, which it took a good 2-3 minutes to go and get from. I just stood there trying to calm him down, while making passengers go away. I tried my best to not let him pass, whiteout seeming like I was trying to block him. Those moments felt like ages, I was seriously thinking about shouting "POLICE" to try and get them as quick as possible there. All i could think about was him taking that knife and attacking me. When I finally saw the officers, I was really relieved. They handled the situation and took him with them.
Not very often. Why?