Gender's in your head, Sex's whats in your pants, and Chromosomes are just biological evidence of what your sex was at birth. I'll accept trans people, but i won't accept being called transphobic for not wanting to date a trans person. It's a preference. You aren't racist for wanting to not date someone of another race, it's just your preference. As long as you treat each other like people (which you can CHOOSE to date depending on features)
I think it's time for you to accept that, no matter how many drugs you take no matter how much you gore your own body no matter what flamboyantly colored clothes you wear, or how much you scream and cry out about how you want to be accepted
you'll never accept yourself, ever. you will never truly be what you want to be, no matter how much you yearn for it. I think it's time for you to do the world, and yourself, a favor by killing yourself. you want to be something else so much? go on. roll the dice and see what you gamble away.