I am a disabled TRANS person of color with BPD and I have dealt with abuse all my life.
I went to school with a truly nasty piece of work. She relentlessly tormented me with slurs directed at my appearance, race, and gender. Phrases like “trnny” and “ngger” were all too common. I still have the scars on my wrist from being unable to cope with the non stop verbal torture. I hated her and I still do, and many people would agree with me. I have a few friends, we bonded over our mental struggles and our transhood and we talk all the time in places like discord and the like. I graduated from high school last year and I’ve been out of work ever since. Society hates trans people of color like me and my crippling anxiety made me unable to get a job so the days kind of just blend together, but one day I heard that this girl, the person who has subjected me to hell on Earth, had been gang raped at a frat party.
I laughed.
I laughed so much that tears came out of my eyes. The schadenfreude I felt was overwhelming. I felt that she deserved that and even worse. Transphobes are the lowest form of scum and I often think to myself that her attackers should’ve killed her as well. I told my friends about it and they were shocked at my “callousness”. I know I should feel bad for her but whenever I think about her suffering, I remember that the pain she and the world as a whole caused me all my life absolutely dwarfs hers. It’s not that I don’t care,
I do care and I think it’s amazing.
When will you grow up and realize to be empathic, and that the world does not revolve around YOU ?!
