Most effective way to cover up a murder/hide the body?

Did you kill someone? Looks pretty fake for shock value

>when she says she is on her period but you're so horny and drunk you don't care

its an example

can you keep a secret?

become a cop and then you can kill with immunity.

use another body with more blood to distract from the main blood

Only really reliable way is at sea- too much search area and too much wanting to eat it, especially if it's weighted down at all.

Eat the body, crush up and bury all you can't eat

Admit it publicly on social media.

necro-cannibalism?

Call every relative and friend to your house and have them eat a great meal of you know what, about the blood just change the carpet, it's not that hard rly, if there's remaining blood on the ground just turn it into a ""cumstain"", make sure to empty your refrigerator to keep the body fresh because the process is going to take an entire week, and before you move it to the kitchen you might want to fill a bucket with her blood and dry her out, so she won't ruin the entire house.
You just need to think ahead in order to not ruin things and make the process needlessly complex.

>most effective
If that’s your murder scene, I think it might be a little late for efficiency

Yeah, that too

Anything to dispose of evidence

have no experience with it so cant confirm it works

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what if they notice user's missing before the week is up/process is over?

/g yeah, just use jet fuel. Easy to do

Either one or both.

Hide it somewhere super obvious, but when you bury the body, bury it extra deep, like 12-15 feet. cover up about 6 feet of it and then put a decoy on top of it and bury the decoy. Police find the decoy, cover the hole up again and (in theory) don't dig it up again.

what if they dig past the decoy? wouldn't it be sus to have a random *thing* in the middle of wherever they'd search

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If you've already done it, and you're looking for advice on hiding the body, idk what to tell you.

If you haven't done it yet, poison is a surefire way to get the cleanest murder.

I've always thought it might be fun to put two holes in the top of a soda bottle and then mix bleach and ammonia in the bottle. Then all you have to do is stick it in someone's face for a bit and they'll probably pass out and/or die.

il miglior metodo di copertura qui di gran lunga

Any fuel will work fine in a pinch. Just need to use an oxidizer.

will keep this in mind

No nigger

Gotta go poison, strangulation or drowning type stuff. Anything with blood is too much evidence. You'll never make it go away. If you're gonna shoot or stab to death, do it in the middle of nowhere in the woods or a field where the wildlife can clean it.

You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together. And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig."

And never kill your wife or gf, you'll instantly be the suspect and fucked. It's easier to just pay the bitch off and be done.

Leave a note or something. Just hope they don't keep digging because none of these other methods actually work.

Not if it's like one of those time box things that you bury lol. They'll just think you're super weird

Call the police. They know the best ways to clean blood.

Do you know what nemesis means ?

one of the best suggestions on here, will keep it in mind ,, any idea why 6 pieces is the best?

A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by an 'orrible cunt...
>Me

HAHA

yeah so we found receipts to a 55 gallon drum, and jet fuel... we found a halfway burnt body in the forest in a drum. care to talk to us?

>Torso
>2 arms
>2 legs
>Head

Jesus Christ this is the least ruckus up thread I ever read. Also dubs

it happens, just let it soak in to the carpet.

Pigs will eat the bones user.

It's not hard to break into a small pig farm in the midwest.

The only downside is that Pigs can take awhile - like a couple of days. More pigs the better here. It's best if you cut it up a little bit. I would say try to keep chunks no larger than the forearm. The bones will need to be broken a bit but try not to "powder" them while breaking them as it can leave a trace. The pigs will do a fantastic job of cleaning up the remains Blood, Bone and hair. They are actually very obsessive about it.

any fabric or anything leading up to the pig farm will need to vanish and will need to be burned. Cleaning up after the entire ordeal will have to be your TOP priority.

You better also already have a bullet proof alibi (This is where you get FUCKED).

Try not to make a mess like in that picture, try to keep everything clean and put the body in a few trashbags wich have to fully cover the corpse add a weight and dump it into a sea or lake thats big enough. Or just dig a deep hole in the ground if you have the time and space.

would it be smart to leave the US when covering up the body? from what i'm aware they do the most thorough investigations here.